JD Vance gets loudly booed at the Olympics.

Starting a rumor that eating a billionaire gives you the power of flight

If you need something as dumb as the day is long to take a break from the hellstorm that is this current situation, this might be it. www.patreon.com/posts/149270...

Pro Football Hall of Famer John Randle posted a statement about ICE as text overlays on various portraits of himself and I kind of love it

🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔

Fine, I’ll do it.

I guess I just don’t know what a horse collar tackle is.

Met a person at a party tonight that is not into Pluribus and I’m honestly considering staying home forever now.

Intriguing idea

I know no one cares about anyone’s fantasy football team, but Jalen Hurts just put up a Rex Grossman on Monday Night Football. I started Hurts tonight, and I started Rex back in 2006, a night that gave us an all-time post-game quote from Denny Green. NEW RULE- don’t start a QB on Monday Night.

I’m in Vancouver for a Canucks/Minnesota Wild game. Just saw a dude in head to toe Houston Texans gear. Why is that random person at every sporting event ever?

A lady on my flight today was so asleep that a flight attendant checked her pulse when she wouldn’t wake up when it was time to land.

Hi Bluesky. My wife is in the Macy’s Parade tomorrow. I’m looking for people who might have an office or apartment on the parade route. Somewhere where I could come and take pictures and watch without wading through the people on the street. I know, I am asking for a miracle…

Why is France the only country that gets their own toast? Before you remind me of Texas Toast, Texas is no longer a sovereign nation, but for about ten years there, two different countries had their own toasts and maybe the world was a better place, toast-wise.

Was Noah’s Ark the first boat Noah built? Quite the accomplishment, honestly. I don’t think I could build a canoe.

Does Jalen Hurts like playing football? Does he enjoy the game? He’s great and a Super Bowl Champion and Super Bowl MVP, but his facial expressions and body language tell me that his loved ones are being tortured by Eagles ownership unless he comes to the stadium once a week.

THE IRON HORSE OF PODCASTS.

HALF BAKED IDEA: The “oops” in Cap’n Crunch’s Oops! All Berries isn’t about an abundance of berries at all. Perhaps it’s the tale of a gruesome and unprecedented industrial accident involving overworked union cereal workers hideously acid-melted beyond recognition in the factory’s non-berry wing.

I have some robust (and admittedly unimportant) opinions about pro sports, but maybe the strongest of all is this: If your team has Powder Blue uniforms, they should be the primary uniforms. GIVE ME ALL OF THE POWDER BLUE YOU’VE GOT!

Wall to wall bangers at Sassafras Saloon tomorrow night.

Let’s face it- y’all need magic more than ever.

I can’t believe what I just saw.

the good news is, the boys in the lab have another 16 hours to cook up a painkiller cocktail for George Springer that zoos normally give to a walrus before surgery

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Today would be an EXCELLENT day to become a Full Cartwright subscriber. There is A LOT of very funny stuff in the archive and even more in the pipeline. GET INTO IT! www.patreon.com/AndyDaly?utm...

Dieter Ruehle digging DEEP tonight.

Winchester Mystery White House.

Why does Zoom have an AI companion? All I ever use Zoom for is to connect to actual companions.

Same.

I’m normally full of absurdity, whimsy, and comedic idiocy, but I saw the preview for this show yesterday and I’m dead serious about it being so very good. If you’re in LA, go as soon as you can. Fallen Confederate Statues Take Center Stage in the Year’s Boldest Show www.nytimes.com/2025/10/20/a...

@fesshole.bsky.social brings me heaps and heaps of joy. A must follow in my humble opinion.

I am suing the Los Angeles Chargers for permanently damaging my television and eyes with these yellow atrocities.

I’m no Trump fan but it’s not fair/necessary for his physician to reveal that the President has what most closely resembles a custom-built mobile bathtub that’s “just for diarrhea” and that the secret service are responsible for making sure he’s “never more than 30 feet from it.”

Why are they all on the same side of the table?

The world needs a safe haven for the word alchemy of @robdelaney.bsky.social and I’m glad it’s here at Bluesky.

Of all of the trivial stances out there, Chicago’s militance about what does and does not go on a hot dog needs to go. It’s myopic, antiquated, and borders on being undemocratic. FREEDOM OF HOT DOG TOPPING CHOICE FOR ALL!

Robin Williams' daughter has some quality thoughts on AI slop

My MedBed removed all of the Tylenol I’ve ever taken from my body!

from the latest print edition of ‘The Onion’

I’m so proud to work on Andy Daly’s audio madness. Join the Patreon! Come for the insane Bonanza recaps, stay for the top notch absurdity. www.patreon.com/AndyDaly?utm...

There is an NFL player named Christian Mahogany.

Essential viewing that might help you feel a little less crazy. This is just so well-stated...

Hello Friends. I am ecstatic to announce that I have reacquired the entire Spontaneanation catalogue and effective immediately you can find every episode wherever you get your podcasts. Don’t get drunk and fight each other.

My wife and I watch Halloween Baking Championship every year. I love it- fun weirdos making gory and spooky and disgusting looking treats… a fantastic Halloween apéritif. The season premiere had one of the wildest moments I’ve ever seen on television. If you watch, let’s chat. WILD. STUFF.

one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them

Hey @bsky.app, I’d love a Drafts folder. I used to let a post marinate and I really enjoyed that. Could we do a Drafts folder?

@dclasair.bsky.social and @urbanbohemian.com This is relevant to your ongoing discussions and interests. >Flees the inevitable backlash

it’s a beautiful day to shut the fuck up

found out what former Wondery COO Jeanine Wright is up to: flooding the internet with unlistenable AI podcasts Her company has put out around 156,000 AI podcast episodes in two years and has averaged about 64 listens per podcast total in that time (less than one download a week)

Can a dog get a ride in a Waymo?