Some thoughts (and a HILARIOUS dogshit AI MTV tribute video) www.esquire.com/entertainmen...

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

“It has to be [absolute mangling of the word ‘judicious’], because that’s what we’re about” is a little on the nose.

So…Maduro was a brutal narcoterrorist who needed to be brought to justice, but also “he could have been living somewhere else right now, very happy?”

As a resident of Los Angeles: NOPE

President Mucinex Dad up here talking about people are going to restaurants again, it’s cool, it’s great, thanks everyone

It is objectively perfect that people are posting about MTV going off the air forever last night instead of turning on the television and noticing that it did not.

Third Proclaimer lookin ass

big tech 20 years ago: we invented a phone that also has full-color internet big tech today: we invented a program that will tell you that you're brave enough to kill yourself but doesn't know how many fingers and toes you have, it now runs your dishwasher

If people do not regularly go to the theater, they forget how to do it and before long they are like “theator: is toilet?” and then when they see a theater they use it as a toilet due to that confusion and I would like to hear more discussion about this because of my high intelligence levels

Marriage Travel Homosex

NOBODY WANTS THIS

12/23 is traditionally Hear A Newscaster Say “Grab Snatch” Day

You’d better wise up, Bari Weiss.

If I have to see that photo of her looking like she’s giving an invisible child a scalp massage one more fucking time I swear to god

A mixed bag of a year, but music-wise? It was crunky. music.apple.com/us/playlist/...

The mediocre performing for the insecure.

How about if we hear people saying these kinds of things, even if they are tenth graders, we launch them directly into the sun?

Susie Wiles is serving Darkest Timeline Elderly Lucy Van Pelt.

The non-2025 songs that scored my 2025 music.apple.com/us/playlist/...

You see it right

If you see this, repost with your model of positive masculinity.

Started Heated Rivalry last night, and I don’t care whether either lead actor is gay, but I’m glad they chose two men who are authentically caked the fuck up. Visibility matters.

Zonker’s nephew in Doonesbury lookin ass

Crispin Glover on Letterman vibes.

Waiwaiwait: “strong floor no ceiling” is REAL?

In the last few months, I’ve started lifting weights, and annoyingly it has improved my life in exactly all the ways they tell you it’s going to. This machine has made it all easier. If you’re looking for a home gym for your 2026 self-improvement, I recommend. www.esquire.com/lifestyle/a6...

Hi it’s me your dad

Background lookin like he’s on a capsized cruise ship

“Over there own citizens.” Dude can’t be bothered to learn the third-grade basics of his own mother tongue, got some nerve calling anyone else incompetent.

A talent show.

I am wearing The Sweater.

The parallels between Donald Trump’s Truth Social feed and Britney Spears’ Instagram can no longer be ignored.

We should be starting a three-week period of SOME Christmas music and only afterwards should we enter the time of ONLY Christmas music.

Imagine taking a perfectly good message like “dress like an adult on an airplane” and clunking it up with “because it honors our country.”

Awaiting my harvest. I ain’t paying to read more of that, I’m happy for you tho or sorry that happened

Do‘n gerunds with a dropped g like this Truther does with “Fuck’n” is my favorite dumb thing, up there with the superfluous comma between the last adjective and the noun, like “he is a dumb, stupid, communist!”

1987 Chess King lookin ass

XOXO, Gospel Girl

Fox News Channel, 11/18/25, 8:05pm Eastern, seriously.

Back when there were TV movies about suburban women losing their grip, they would style them like this in the scene where the family can no longer deny there is a problem.

Anybody know why there’s a Gawker logo projected onto the night skies?

You know what’s wild? In a couple of days there’s going to be another week.

And now: “everyone are at odds.”

“Hot bed of threats.” “Imbecilic morons.” We are being ruled by the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet.

The first line of Trump’s obituary will be like “former president, real estate mogul, and guy who made it safe for Americans to use the word ‘cunt’ in reference to males Donald Trump has died.”

I'm the only one who sees this? Grow up.

What in the UCB sketch cram is going on here

Right now on Fox News they’re discussing Melania Trump‘s legendary commitment to helping foster kids, so you know they know they are cooked.

I guess you become a ghoul so gradually you don’t notice