Not for any particular reason, other than it's fabulous and that's reason enough

I couldn't help it: after I wrote that, I had to find out what an AI generates if you ask it for "a boot stamping on a human face forever". [Cue Tony Hart gallery music.]

Today I found out that the Doozers drink Irn-Bru in their lunchbreak. Of course. The girders. Wait. The actual "Fraggle Rock" Doozers make sugary buildings that the Fraggles eat. When they say Irn-Bru's "made in Scotland from girders", do they mean it's made on a Scottish lighthouse island from...?

What a lovely start to a cold winter morning. I didn’t know @uoylibrary.bsky.social wields the power of the rainbow.

Freedom of speech is g-g-g-great!

Yeah, that's a good shout. Let's pencil that in for now.

Did I scroll past this yesterday, I wonder...?

I am at a party in Westminster. A party-political party of sorts. I'm the secret lover of one of a group of MPs who have been trying to oust an increasingly problematic PM only for him to steadfastly refuse to budge. So tonight I'm tasked to push him. From the clock tower. #dreamtweet

A teenager unexpectedly inherits a medium-small stately home and in the process learns that he is the base son of his mother's brief liaison with an eccentric lord who had no other issue. Aside from the occasional visit from a Danvers-esque housekeeper, he elects to live there on his own #dreamtweet

(The more you think about it, the less likely it seems. Our view of showbusiness is rooted in the genderqueer. Our soldiers in WW2 blatantly... crossed lines. One of the first surgically-reassigned transwomen was a fucking RAF fighter pilot. We pioneered phalloplasty. We raise kids on panto. PANTO.)

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

British culture has normalised genderfluidity for literal centuries. We're traditionally obsessed with disrupted sex roles, with drag, with bi-romanticism, with gay transvestite celebrities. So HOW THE HELL DID *WE* END UP AS TERF ISLAND? It's like the Swiss becoming The People Who Resent Chocolate.

This is the sort of solidarity we so desperately need. Love & respect to all the volunteers prepared to stand up & be counted. www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home...

I keep thinking of Beth Upton today, who won against an absolutely foul, racist bigot, and should be having the best day, but is still being monstered by our entire media, for the crime of merely existing as her authentic self and doing a job in the NHS that helps people, all day every day.

I've now accidentally killed enough young cellar spiders in my house that they've started work on the arachnid version of "Apaches".

You know that episode of "The Prisoner" where Number Two gets a special Appreciation Day, but it's an assassination attempt and his medal's got a bomb in it? I'm just saying, maybe FIFA know what they're doing.

Point

Wonder what the millions of Zygons make of all this? #warbetween

I'd forgot that #DoctorFish was on. I'm watching #TheSnooker. Dear me.

I don't know why I did this. It is what it is. Just leave it.

Until I just saw this I had no idea who had directed Fifty Shades. Next you'll be telling me that Michael Landy was behind Angels & Demons.

[Beavery St Mary more like]

A bit niche I fear but does anyone know the purpose of these rubber and metal things on end of pews in a former Methodist Church in North #Chingford? The church is less than 100 years old.

This country benefits more from a poor person who’s a good person than it does from a billionaire who’s a shit.

my great-grandparents arrived in the UK in the 1890s with nothing. they sold pickles from the front room window, took in laundry, worked as tailors. their children were nurses, teachers, salesmen. their grandchildren were professors, designers, opticians, doctors, magistrates, entrepreneurs.

Pretty sure that a ptarmigan track.* *Joke spoiler extrodinaire.

The cows on the west side of the road and the cows on the east side are having a meeting. Their leaders (both rather woolly and large) stand on promontories so their mooing can carry across the emu enclosure that separates the west field from the roadside. Dogs also ferry messages. #dreamtweet

Dreamt I became pals with Sienna Miller but I got exasperated because she spent forever in the shop browsing for high end things she didn't need (shoes, clothes, pens, knick knacks) and couldn't understand that she didn't actually need. Decided I couldn't be arsed being pals with her after that.

Unbearable. #scd

Shit! Who's he going to take?? #scd

genuinely: who has Karen upset to get the death slot four times when Lewis and George haven't been in it even once #SCD

Same.

It is a BIT off having the ringers, who have done musical theatre, do the last two numbers and having them be some of the biggest bangers from the best musicals of all time

Tonight Nikita looks like he's about to sell you a monorail. #scd

Also, as expected, a newly restored version of the classic Star Wars (1977) theatrical release will play in theaters on February 19, 2027, for a limited time. 🤗 Yes, it's the original version of the movie, not one of the Special Editions 🫡

Eight year old me was obsessed with Penguin of the Opera [swipe keyboard fail but I'm sticking with it] #scd

Oh Karen... What sick stunt have they pulled on you that will demand all of my points? #scd

Whatever TessTess did backstage last week to appease hair and wardrobe, she's not done it again. #scd

#Strictly Come Dancing is so strict that everything in Musicals Week has to go by the book.

Oh my...

A nice lineup of decomposers in the woods today 🌳🍄. Which are your favorite #fungi : bright fans, eyes of the forest, tiny guys, or gothic horror? [actual names in the alt text! ]

Beautiful chemistry in the pundit box this afternoon. #snooker

If only the Labour party were in power, they could do something about it...

this one

I was loving this frame of snooker, but now they've gone and spoilt it.

“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”