Me when it happens

Her: Could you pass the salt and pepper? Me: No, but I can push it to you. Her: Push it? Me: Push it real good.

The Spectator have not yet had a full on right wing melt down. They're very close, though! Join.greenparty.org.uk

Sat in a waiting room and Lorraine is on 😣

when u see a book about a penguin with two dads

I'm on my way to a Chanukah event. It should be a celebration but instead our community is once again mourning. I will be thinking of everyone in Australia and those around the world in the Jewish Community who know this fear and loss. We stand with you.

Look, we all need something to cheer us up, so: happy Todger Strunk day to all who celebrate

🎶 Oh, come let us abhor him Oh, come let us abhor him Oh, come let us abhor him Christ, he's a cunt 🎶

Nosferatu is a movie about the universal fear that your wife wants to be jacked off by a Central European dude.

Just wonderful. Fuck the law.

GB News grilled me apparently? Only problem with this is I've never been on their nonsense channel. They lie - obsessively. Help us grow an alternative to all the bollocks: Join.greenparty.org.uk

At university my speed dealer told me I was doing too much speed and should cut down. A fucking drug dealer directly profiting from my drug use had more compassion and humanity than the people around Linehan.

Naive to believe that "no one is above the law" when some people quite clearly are

Being vulgar and uncouth offends Comfortables far more than atrocities. Killing a thousand people with the press of a button or the stroke of a pen is objectively better in their minds than personally killing one.

My annual, seasonal post to inform the world that when I was a small child I thought the words to Once in Royal David's City were "where a mother laid her baby, in a mangy four inch bed".

Transphobes are a poison. They are miserable, spiteful, and charmless and while I know hate is not particularly fashionable, I absolutely fucking loathe them.

Me after not finding the page

Been watching this programme and they keep dubbing an engine noise onto a Renault Zoe. Its driving me up the fucking wall

Cutting through to the 10s of fans of Ginger Spice 👍

Best reaction to that racist dickhead falling off a lamppost I've seen today. "I fought the floor and the floor won"

They're so horny for war, man. Libs always want some combat because inside they know they're dipshit cowards and that doing some bloodshed will somehow save their project like the Falklands did for Thatcher. That it might prove to the nascent fash that they're 'ard too.

Right, I've listened to a couple of podcasts so I think I'm up to speed with the whole astrophysics thing. Yeah, I reckon it's a multiverse like innit

Dame Judi Dench crying as Lady Macbeth sounds like old dial-up internet.

Lol the united states is deeply embarrassing ANTIFA is nr1 terrorist organisation in the US despite the FBI having abolutely no information about it lmao

Nice try, Marina, but they're still completely flacid. Al, you're up.

In case anyone thinks I'm being distasteful in laughing at this racist piece of shit taking a tarmac high dive and scoring perfect tens across the board, here's a selection from his Facebook account.

Graham Linehan has such little self-awareness he *really* doesn’t understand how totally unhinged he seems in his ‘woe is me’ batshit crazy ranting! 😬 He’s the ‘cautionary tale’ of what obsessive ‘gender critical’ transphobia leads to: no friends, no life, and spaghetti carbonara for one!

“Well-known football fan and author”

Idk man, I think if I was a local paper, I'd simply not laud a man with multiple convictions for violence, a lifetime ban from a football ground and a Facebook account filled with *the* most vile racism as a "working-class hero"

I suppose on the plus side for old Paul his lifetime ban is finally over!

Dead Actually...

Oh what a pity, what a shame

Well...

i've generated 30,000,000 clips of mickey mouse shooting donald duck in the head on the steps of great moments with mr. lincoln. the uncanny voice of goofy says "this really happened! it's canon! a-hyuck!" plays on loop over it. i will now e-mail one clip to every child in america

What a pale, miserable bunch of genitally obsessed bigots. I thought you said she won, right? Have they tried not thinking about a strangers crotch for 5 minutes? Maybe enjoy a jolly festive tune and a mince pie? No, too joyful and not enough genitals for their liking.

Im a doctor of an ology. And I work in a hospital. Wear a mask. Protect others. Don’t be like this man, who has been shown to be a constant liar.

Yeah well my mates mam pierced mine with a darning needle and a cork while I was watching Wonder Woman

Stop policing people's bodies 👏 linktr.ee/boldpolitics

I'm getting the word "plummet"

This is not compatible with democracy.

only getting news from one source (Huey Lewis)

The Board of Deputies could destroy Farage, a politician that has credibly said some of the most atrocious antisemitic comments uttered in recent British history by an elected MP, by releasing a statement condemning him, but they don’t. They did previously, in 2019, over far less. Why is that?

Transphobes tend to also be very racist.

Our X Files

Richard Madeley, the arsehole's arsehole

You will be visited by three ghosts

[Guy whose dick fell off because there's a girl in star wars] I would probably do well in a civil war

This is obscene. That others in politics can’t or won’t say that this is obscene hits at the heart of the problems we face. We are the 99.999%. Tax the super rich. Join.greenparty.org.uk