"I would love to find someone who doesn’t think that ‘a lot’ is ‘too much’ – who loves how *much* I am, and sees that as incredible value for money." NEW blog post: I want to be loved. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/i-want-... Gorgeous art by @stuartcb.bsky.social

Thread

File under #IfItsNotAlrightItsNotTheEnd

The thing nobody really tells you about growing up is that you have an idea of yourself in your mind that’s set at a certain age and then occasionally you are reminded of your ACTUAL age and it always feels like a surprise somehow.

An autistic woman longing for human contact has had her hopes repeatedly dashed by the troublesome existence of other humans, it has been revealed.

8 years ago, I told a story which changed my life forever. Shortly after, an old pal from college asked if he could turn it into a film. So I am DELIGHTED TO ANNOUNCE that 'Me, Myself & Mary' is not only finished, but has been chosen to lead the Tribeca Festival's animated shorts roster this year.

The only amount of cinnamon rolls that is scandalous is "none".

Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal Haynes 1:63

"Could you turn me into a cat?" the man asked. The witch gave him a long look. "Why?" "So I could be your familiar," he said with a grin. "What an interesting idea! Let me try." *poof* "Oops!" the witch said. She picked up the frog. "Let's get you to a pond."

Ethan Stern, 25, and Ben Espenson, 23, have both been excitedly gabbling about their special interests and remain completely unaware that there’s zero overlap.

An autistic woman is reportedly so good at masking she is frequently mistaken for a neurotypical – while the monstrous portrait in her attic withers and decays at an alarming rate.

I like BUTTS on things and I cannot lie... If you also like butts on things, get yourself some butt-themed objects over in my store: www.redbubble.com/people/RubyJ... #butts #art #lgbtq+ #lgbt #pride

Force the government to rip up the EHRC’s transphobic guidance. We have less than a month. Join us goodlaw.social/de78a7

Before the entrance to the superhero academy, the boys compared powers. "What do you do?" "Er..." "C'mon, spill!" "I can add pockets." "Like, interdimensional?" "No, just normal, usable pockets. To any garment, matching any material." "What use is that?" "If I can help anyone I'd be happy."

The wonderful @stevekenson.com just reminded me of a fun topic in the world of #TTRPGs: that throw-away line you made as a GM that turned into a big deal. The NPC or organization or whatever you dropped in for a single scene that ended up beloved by the players for years after. Hit me with yours!

I'm still working out which way to vote in this election, so I found this thread useful:

The Llandeilo Lit Fest is happening soon. Wizard's Tower are on the programme. If you live in South Wales, please come and see us. www.cheryl-morgan.co...

That's not a spitfire. It's a tank.

An autistic person reading a satirical website by and for autistic people (poor things) has reportedly realised that their every last quirk is shared by at least some other autistic people - yes, even that one. Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/autist...

Just had an ad asking me to "Vote SNP on May 7th." Didn't realise they were standing for the Senedd, tbh.

This morning I nearly made tea in the Butt Mug while preparing for therapy. Seen here pictured next to the lovely geometric mug I selected when I realised Butt Mug might be distracting. People seemed to like the mug when I mentioned it, so I've reopened my store: www.redbubble.com/people/RubyJ...

Very kind of them to wait 25 years before releasing this story about my student days.

I've recently noticed another sign I've reached middle-age: part of my prep for going away / on holiday is getting housework done so the house looks nice when we get back. Young!Tigg would not have been bothered what the house looked like when she got home 😆

you know, I remember when "The President of the United States has publicly insulted the Pope and proclaimed himself Jesus" would have been 'bring-the-world-to-a-standstill' news, rather than just Monday.

Obeying the quoted instructions this image amused me enough to save it...

Enjoying some of my Eroticon swag this morning: came across my Hot Octopuss t-shirt (it still fits!) so I paired it with coffee in my @girlonthenet.bsky.social mug 😊

It's been a while, but I've still got it*. *ability to recall markings of different breeds of cattle & be able to identify them.

OMG, this is so homophobic. Learn the difference between puppy play and bears, FFS.

It’s the 78th anniversary of Oxford graduate (with a first), bestselling author, Fabian, public philosopher, after-dinner speaker, parliamentary candidate, and BBC radio ‘Brains Trust’ personality Cyril Edwin Mitchinson Joad monumentally fucking over his own career by being done for fare-dodging 🧵

Love and solidarity to every joining the @guidersfortrans.bsky.social protests today. We will be with you in London. We’re sorry for the girls left out and the friends they leave behind. We and many other women believe there’s a better way. We applaud you for standing up. Have a great day all 🏳️‍⚧️

Are you able to identify which bluebells are the native English variety and which are the more vigorous Spanish bluebell? This might help. Also, use your nose. The English bluebells have a sweet scent, whereas their Spanish cousins have little to no scent.

best character would be the fashion historian whose whole job is just to make sure they all dont stand out just love the idea if a set thats her workshop full of both victorian dresses and every starfleet uniform we have ever seen

I was doing a mentoring Zoom call with a student journalist. She asked me how I got into the foreign correspondent side of things. "OK, so, have you heard of a place called Yugoslavia?" "No."

good morning

🧵👇

An autistic woman’s idea of self care is virtually indistinguishable from that of a morally bankrupt Roman emperor, sources have claimed.

A gorgeous story for a Sunday morning 😊

“The path to riches wasn’t strewn with danger, after all. It was flanked by entitled men who looked the other way, paying no attention to this silly little girl.” Grew fond of my Free Use Secretary, so I wrote her a finale😉 www.girlonthenet.com/blog/free-us... Cute art by @stuartcb.bsky.social!

Shame is what embarrassment becomes if you give it enough food and water. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/embarra... NEW blog: someone asked me an interesting question - "do you ever get embarrassed?" and I had a lot of fun exploring the answer.

I've got the final instalment of #FreeUse secretary to share with you tomorrow, and I am positively gleeful about it. If you want the backstory, which is basically just porn, here's the tag: www.girlonthenet.com/tag/fus/ Tomorrow's is a very different type of #fantasy fulfilment ;-)

Seconded

I love a @dreadships.bsky.social story about French and Italian seamanship. The only thing that could make this better is if Tom Hardy read it on Jackanory.

"How’s that hard-on coming along?" Please give a HUGE welcome (and lots of shares) to the fabulous @jaimieserotica.bsky.social - her first contribution to the #AudioPorn project is DELICIOUSLY intimate. I had so much fun reading it! www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sex-tal... #Sex #Smut #audio

Also! There's nothing wrong with "smut", not even for teens, and "smut" can be healthy sexuality. The exact nature of it will be different to some adult books, of course.

If people have recs for lesbian and sapphic romances, pass them my way! I'd also be really interested in recs for trans romance, please and thank you! Any sub-genre.

This time last year: goodbye to @mollysdailykiss.bsky.social incredible #SinfulSunday project. The beauty and joy we lose through censorship and bad laws makes me want to weep. What we do isn't dirty or shameful - what we do is GOOD, actually! www.girlonthenet.com/blog/goodbye...

Serenity....

Now that we have cosy murder mystery, cosy horror, cosy dystopia and cosy serial killer romance, it's time for cosy non fiction. Cosy true crime, cosy microbiology, cosy venereal disease pessary instructions.

Cite the deep magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written, and catalogued it with meticulous metadata, but it was migrated to a cloud server and the last update has bricked the system.

"manicure your head with scissors" Love phrases like this 💗