💀💀💀 saw myself in the mirror 💀💀💀

just woke up from one of the most horrific nightmares ive had in probably years lol

restriction not going well but i woke up early to make up with my sister after having a huge fight last night, bummed a smoke off someone who happened to have my EXACT brand from before i quit, and got me a Lil Treat to cheer up bc i was still in a weird mood also equipped the mini stompin boots

kind of ate like shit today but it was with my mom and sister and i haven't seen them in like 6 months so whatever i guess i've missed them sm it's so good to see them

good to know but i will never betray honey zoi, my beloved

“well we all have mental health issues” what if i killed myself in front of you right now

sorry for not updating surgery went fine but i also received more confirmation that i almost definitely have 3hl3ers d4nl0s syndr0me - i have an absolutely ridiculous natural opiate tolerance to the point that the usual pain meds did literally nothing and

at least my room is nice got woken up to needles this morning tho and surgery got pushed back to noon i hate this i can't wait to go home

lol i'm getting admitted and my gf is leaving me here by myself bc she didn't sleep enough even though i slept the same amount as she did lol lol lol

good morning friends, did you know that rapid weight loss can cause gallstones? because i didn't but sure as fuck do now :D

spent all night making chatgpt analyze my poetry and honestly i feel much better about it

i finally locked in but y'all i have never wanted to get a cake and some drinks more in my life than i do rn totally unrelated to recent events, of course

what person wouldn't want blind obsessive all encompassing devotion ungrateful if you ask me

also x2 here's a song i've been obsessed with lately it's a massive mood i highly recommend if you like grunge youtu.be/0MawIv5pDFE

not only did i realize that i am actually still b1s3xual, i realized this by rapidly spiraling into a fp situation with a m4n who is entirely uninterested in relationships while already in a relationship myself (those problems are a whole other can of worms) and i feel like a piece of shit for it

holy shit i finally got back into this account lol i am doing Bad

I fear that if i say im confident abt anything the universe will come by to wallop me for the hubris It has happened more than once

oh i remember why i stopped getting on here a lot of my moots are inactive & this algo is so buns, nothing in my fyp/suggested/wtv is relevant 2 me at all & i have to b rly careful not 2 accidentally interact w normsky bc that's what 95% of it is i miss twt (when it wasn't a r1ght w1ng hellscape)

hi friends girlfriend said something triggering yesterday + i recently stumbled upon pr04n4 thr34ds (i don't have an account, just found a post and went down a minute rabbit hole) + i am getting skinny clothes free through a review program + i have no food money anyways so here i am, back again

sorry i have been away, i have been eating like shit again and also stressed as FUCK bc we move in less than a week and every time i think about it i feel like i'm going to puke lol

i need a fucking cigarette

anyways fuck that person, the whole (positive) post that they decided to ruin with their self righteous bullshit is: TODAY ME AND GF GOT APPROVED FOR AN APT IN A BLUE CITY IN A BLUE STATE!!! i am so beyond stoked, i cannot fucking WAIT to get out of here, a blue island doesn't help in a red state

why are female tw1tch streamrs so triggering lol anyways i binged a bit but am back to eating normal (not going to try to restrict yet) and looking at these girls makes me want to k i l l myself lol

also my tummy feels WEIRD and it doesn't feel like gas, i hope it's just ovulation pain and not a cyst 😭

ate a lil more than i was hoping to but definitely not a binge so fuck it that's a dub to me

groceries acquired i am cognizant of the potential for a binge due to my extremely low intake yesterday, but i am hoping that my awareness will keep me in check, and that consciously trying to recognize a binge starting will let me nip it in the bud before it gets bad

the weather has been weirdly warm lately for some reason and i have been getting extremely vivid flashbacks to feelings and experiences i've had in the past it's crazy how specific these feelings are and how vivid the memories attached to them are, as well as how strong the nostalgia is

me: dying other me: But you will lose weight me: okay fine

i will k i l l myself istg i haven't been doing this well in two years and as a matter of fact i will specifically work even harder to avoid bingeing just to spite this post so thank you op /g /nm

hate being an adult

180 calz today ehehehehe only had a protein bar bc my meds got caught in my throat blech going grocery shopping tomorrow too, let's see how well that works out for me

have been absent but not bc bingeing, still doin good over here

i always give up on cooking so easily bc if anything gets in the way i just take it as a sign that i shouldn't be eating anyways lol

was going to make dinner but everything was dirty so i'm just not going to bother guess we fasting today

she just like me fr

for someone who’s afraid of dying i sure do think abt kms an awful lot

every day i wake up and kick myself for how fat i've gotten vs how small i used to be

the ammount of ppl that tell me id look better if i gained some weight or that i need to eat piss me off because they were yhe same people calling me fat and telling me to lose weight like hoe about actually shut the fuck up because im not even real js close ur eyes if you care sm about how i look

god scrolling the disc0ver feed is like walking thru a minefield lmao gotta check literally every account before i interact bc i don't want to associate w normsky at all, but i rly want new m00ts so i must brave the danger 🫠

e4ting dis0rder stuff is like the one part of life where being aut1st1c asf comes in handy lol just calculated all the calories in my groceries & every combo i make (one meal, one bar) is below my limit, so as long as i have 1 of each i don't have to worry about my intake :3 love that for me

drinking water is def super important but don't stress too much if ur terrible at it (like me), fat actually does evaporate into thin air - your lungs do most of the work in getting rid of it! not trying to be shitty to op at all, just want to inform :) www.technologyreview.com/2022/10/20/1...

When someone asks why my bones crack like pop rocks

boing boing (technically never said i hate food but i have said & meant that i hate how it feels inside my body) (used to be a p3anut butter bitch but idfw it anymore)

#edsky #caterpillarsky

i did some rllllllly cute m4keup the other day but it's not rly ed related, would y'all want to see anyways 👉👈