Goddamnit this is such a stupid and good needle drop. This show is so dumb and also whips so much ass.

I’m sure there’s food worth waiting for but whenever I see some trendy sandwich place that has people standing in line for an hour I just think that Arby’s will hand you a bag of food and you can move on with your life

My son (5) just charged full speed across the living room and blasted me in the knee with his head. But it’s hard to be mad because when I asked him what the heck, he said “I’m a Pachycephalosaurus”. Fair enough dude.

this website is not beating the allegations

The sheer level of ass design on the outside would have you thinking the inside couldn’t be worse but buddy I have news for you.

“Inspecting the layout of a judge’s chambers similar to the Subject Judge’s chambers to determine whether a law clerk seated outside of a judge’s office (with the door closed) could hear the noises Law Clerk A claimed to hear.”

Obvious rage bait has baited my rage.

Surprised to stumble upon this collaboration. Not surprised to find out it slaps.

The more Mark Cuban posts the more I think Russ Hanneman is the smart one and Mark is the exaggerated parody.

Why would they do this? This is the angriest I’ve been about something I could never afford in a long time.

and one more thing. im not political. please do not put in the newpaper that i am political

“I’m not political” is and always has been a political choice and an expression of privilege.

bethesda game zooming in to begin a conversation

My five year old asked me if Ohio is real. Yea buddy. Too fucking real.

Boomers love talk to text. My father in law has yelled “Sam’s Club with gasoline in Wilmington Delaware!” at his phone like ten times in the last two minutes. This can’t be easier than typing.

No it the fuck was not.

Watch your kids. This shit happens so fast and so quiet.

Wordle bot blowing smoke up my ass big time.

There are no good wars, only justifiable ones—but you have to know what you are justifying, and it is always ugly.

Goddamn.

Perfect.

Bring Dawk out of retirement to take this clown’s soul.

i’ve seen screenshots of kyle busch invoking the constitution to complain about NASCAR being mean to him but the full clip is breathtaking. he had the greatest villain run in american sports this century and i’m not taking counter suggestions

legend

One of my favorites to ever do it. Winning races and pissing off dale jr fans in the M&Ms car. RIP Rowdy.

An ongoing stain on our conscience. Brennan had it right in concurrence when the court suspended it and in dissent when it was revived. There is no level of procedural dressing that can save the death penalty from being fundamentally cruel and anathema to any sense of human dignity.

Asking my daughter how elementary school field day went ends up feeling like a Stefon bit. “It was amazing, there was color tag, flying turtles, and cage ball. We even played volcano.”

Oh, this is mean. (Complimentary)

Hi, I’m Rick Jackson. I’m an outsider, by that I mean, and I’m currently outside your house, and I’d like to come in, but an ancient curse prevents me from doing that without your permission, no not like a vampire, taxes are too high and you have a wasp nest in your gutters

Tremendously silly (complimentary) sport.

This rips and, not to get all LinkedIn on everyone’s ass, is good food for thought for all professions. This once-again small-firm lawyer definitely felt heard.

“If I use Gmail to compose emails, print them and take them to the post office, isn’t it unfair that people who just press ‘send’ don’t have to buy stamps?”

Pancakes, Waffles, and French Toast. Yes my toes are tingling, why do you ask?

Good for the kids. Fuck these guys.

the thing about the institutional apparatus of the dems is that it’s the biggest collection of losers we’ve seen in my lifetime. despite 2 governing trifectas in the last 18 years and the presidency for 12, they’ve overseen the return of segregationists and the end of bodily autonomy for women

You ever been to an anniversary party for a couple and everyone there knows they’re having problems, so it’s a little awkward? This is more or less how I feel about America 250.

Killer changeup will always be my favorite out pitch.

These fucking dorks know they’re on the Main Line right?

read the article making this argument and it just reinforced the 3d printing analogy. the industry hype with AI is 100x larger, but the pattern was a similar "this is going to change humanity" to "this is going to revolutionize specific industries" to "this will be a fun hobby for eccentrics"

Payoff here is so fucking good.

Whoever decided Outlook needed “reactions” was out of their fucking mind. I’m barely reading actual incoming emails. You think I’m going back to see if you hit my email with a thumbs up? FOH

Shaq's gas math had reached the youths