Hell yea brother!

Just heard from the backyard: “New rule: You can not eat the bubbles, they do not taste good.”

One day I will get Law360 to let me write “Arguing with Strangers Online Makes Me a Better Lawyer”, but not today I guess.

Buffalo chicken rollers from a gas station are good actually.

Feel this in my bones.

I accidentally clicked on an Andy Rooney clip on YouTube. Now, the algo is just slamming me with his videos. The scary thing is, I think I’m Andy Rooney.

Jfc flyers.

Having a dog is fun because you can sing songs to them about how gross they smell and they just love the attention

i was pretty suspicious of all the epstein stuff, but that press conference cleared everything up for me. that's the end of that i guess

My “Jeffrey Epstein didn’t introduce me to my husband shirt” has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

Happy Shoulda Finished The Job Day

When we take back power, I do not want unity or healing, I want revenge. I also don't want a lecture on "but that's just like Trump, he wanted revenge." He was wrong, we are right. It's different. Get a moral compass. Revenge or sit down. Call it "justice" if you must, it's that too.

What is the opposite of ASMR?

I like this because it articulates the conservative concept of freedom in a nutshell. You have the freedom to do x, except you don't, because I don't want you to. bsky.app/profile/atru...

So the biggest pusher of agitation and rumors about AJ Brown is in an inappropriate relationship with the head coach of the team most interested in trading for him? This is probably the biggest journalism scandal going on right now. A travesty. Criminal.

astronauts sometimes describe a transcendent feeling of connection with all human beings when viewing the earth from space, an effect previously only achievable by taking a little edible and grilling hot dogs in the sunshine

I’m sorry, if you’re a journalist and you’re still going to the White House Correspondents Dinner this year, genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck off.

The thing about Ahab was that he had a consistent operational objective, could hold a thought in his head for more than 45 seconds, and frequently navigated high-stakes professional situations without falling asleep

This one:

Gotta make these for real

PORTER MARTONE'S FIRST NHL GOAL IS A GAME-WINNER IN OVERTIME AND CURRENTLY GIVES THE FLYERS THIRD PLACE IN THE METRO TIM SAUNDERS AND TODD FEDORUK ON THE CALL

Porter fucking Martone. Let’s go.

“I have gun”

Talking to my wife about what a nuisance the Uber Eats robots have become in Center City and the DNA they share with my sworn enemy—Marty at GIANT—and now I’m reminiscing about when @albertburneko.bsky.social wrote maybe my favorite Deadspin piece:

you know the love for Rush is real because it has never ever gotten one of its listeners laid

get me a fuckin breakfast sandwich you crazy bastards or you'll be living in hell

I think it would be funny if Obama threw a “Praise be to Allah” in a tweet just to see what happens.

Today at lunch, completely out of the blue, my son (4) just fell out of the booth holding his plate. Cheeseburger parts and fries everywhere. Point is, it’s pretty remarkable how kids can do something that is objectively hilarious and simultaneously fills me with unbounded anger.

Idk that Dawn Staley is someone I’d want after my ass.

Trump. But it’s not political. Also, no wings. All plain fillet-o-fishes.

These never get old.

Sending Lorenzen out for the 2nd is pretty mean of the Rockies’ manager.

This is why I don’t eat the bread on my sandwiches if the bread was important it would be meat.

This may be a silly question and I admit I don’t know much about the intricacies of space travel, but who are the astronauts emailing that can’t wait two weeks while they go to the moon?

Nothing more embarrassing in 2026 than having a full two sentences appended to your email telling me the make, model and wireless carrier of your phone.

All time.

Gentle rain on a cool spring night with the windows open is A+ weather.

incredible comment on one of my youtube videos

"I'd rather spend the money on" is a myth. The United States has enough money to spend a trillion dollars per year on NASA *AND* have universal healthcare and housing and free education through college for everyone. It's not either/or. It's both/and.

We choose to go to the moon, not because it is easy but because you've seen the other shit this country spends tax money on. At least going to the moon is cool.

I guess I could make do with this for a week if it meant going to the moon.

There are now 10 toilets in Space International Space Station: 4 Crew Dragon Docked at ISS: 1 Soyuz Docked at ISS: 1 Tiangong Space Station: 2 Shenzhou Docked at TSS: 1 Artemis II on way around Moon: 1 This will be the first time a toilet has left low earth orbit!

We are the angels when we choose to be

There’s a lot to be down about, and I don’t mean to minimize any of it. But going to the moon is the coolest shit people ever did. It’s not close. Doing it again now is still rad as hell. Let’s fucking go.

I do think that those lawyers and law professors who tried to fabricate a historical or legal case against birthright citizenship should be socially and professionally ostracized for their shocking cynicism and intellectual dishonesty as well as for their bald hostility to pluralist American values.

Seeing all the court homies posting about Sauer getting worked

Football-ass football