The “I don’t do politics” people are going to lose their minds when they see the price of a pat of butter.

Everyone wears those Thai fisherman’s trousers the wrong way around. If you tie the back section first, like a bum cape then the front one around like an apron, when you walk, the fabric goes with aerodynamics, rather than leaving you looking like you’re wearing a massive nappy. You’re welcome.

How delightfully quaint some of these old Devon village names are, their etymologies lost in the mists of time.

A message to the Hollywood director, who, right now, will be thinking about his script for his film about Epstein: fucking don’t.

Oh I just heart the phrase “wellness wankers” and yes.

I just think this might be a really good week for a collective hex.

I would not use the concept of "calm" to describe this massive pilled-up cat staring at you.

After the age of 40, your body should come with one of those help buttons you get on websites so you can just ask “oh for goodness sake, why is this bit hurting now?”

I understand the reasons why it’s more jarring and consequential to see it happen among billionaires, but the kind of shrugging disinterest or impishly approving encouragement of sexual abuse among Epstein’s circle is the same dynamic that happens in less powerful milieus.

My favorite genre of Epstein emails are powerful people emailing WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN about how MeToo has gone too far and the woke mob must be stopped.

That’s how I ‘run’! 😉

I just found out that the Hindi for running translates as standing-going and I love this so much.

SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have SCOOBY DOO: rabies SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant

There is a special place in hell for people who deign funding application forms and make the character count include the spaces.

UpScrolled? Anyone?

all of us could learn to hatch a few more plots

If I die in the next week, I do t want anyone claiming I’ve defected to Reform.

Thrilled to announce our first new ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR: Arielle Lauzon! Arielle first worked with Mimbre on our 2018 tour of The Exploded Circus and we are really excited to have her on board with us for the next year. 📷 Adrian Burrows, @heardinlondon.bsky.social , IneptGravity, Isabelle Grosse

Pssst….you are wondering how on eart you’re actually supposed learn how to be kinder to yourself. Well theres this magical online coaching space and workbook library. Come be held in community. Run by the marvellous @heardinlondon.bsky.social www.selfcareschool.co.uk

I’d like a food blog without recipes. Just stories of self-empowerment that somehow lead to butternut squash risotto.

Wondering?It’s both meanings.Painted in Shoreditch where a banner had fallen off the hoarding. Decided not to post on Insta to see if it’s spotted,didn’t sign it… I think it detracts from a lot of street pieces. #streetart #streetartuk #content #youarecontent #shoreditch #london #orwellian #dystopia

If you like having time set aside to review your year and plan with intention. Come and join us for my plotting and planning party. It’s a morning or guided journalling, prompts and smart and easy to implement lessons in goal setting. Join us here www.selfcareschool.co.uk/courses/2026...

I’m full of cookies and bad decisions.

Throughout November in www.SelfCareSchool.co.uk we are working on Boundaries. Just in time to get really good at them before the December mayhem. Join us here: www.selfcareschool.co.uk/courses/bett...

Things were better when computer was in room. Now everywhere is computer. This is bad. Computer should never have escaped room.

I made a free workbook with some really useful scripts you can borrow when people are testing TF out of your boundaries. Here you go heardinlondon.myflodesk.com/5boundaries

New rule, the flagshaggers get to put up their flags up lampposts, but they have to stay up their guarding it, otherwise, they are not patriotic enough.

I just sent my dad a message to say I heard the alarm go off which I’d set to trip every time he went near the biscuit tin, and what did he think he was playing at?

Well that national alarm certainly scared the shit out of the stoners on the park bench.

5am and no one is watching, so I’ve just changed the spelling of know to accurate representation that is rhymes with toe. It’s knoe now. You’re welcome.

Instead of: Spending the evening dreading tomorrow’s team meeting because you know Maureen will dump her tasks on you again You learn: How to say "That doesn't work for me" without a three-paragraph explanation Here, have a free script starter: heardinlondon.myflodesk.com/5boundaries

Has there ever been a film about someone having an affair with an out of office autoresponder? I think Hollywood has missed a trick there.

I wonder if Alicia Keys “This girl is on fire” has ever tried to be bought by any thrush cream advertisers.

This evening I am teaching a workshop on how smart, capable people can still feel stuck and what you can do about it. You Know What To Do - so why aren’t you doing it? Is on zoom at 7pm www.selfcareschool.co.uk/courses/why-...

📣 You Know What To Do - so Why Aren’t You Doing it? 📣 New workshop from @heardinlondon.bsky.social How to gently get out of the perfectionism/ functional freeze/ doomscrolling spiral using self compassion and kindness. May* contain swearing. www.selfcareschool.co.uk/courses/why-... *will.

*subbing at daycare* "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" (Goth toddler Derek just staring a fuckin' hole in my head)

you should eat healthier but also a salad costs $40 now

Sorry, I’ll never be ready to rumble. Go ahead and rumble without me

And that’s a wrap for the summer term. Our classes start again in September in Hackney, with classes for 6 up to 15-year-olds! If you are a young person interested in joining, or know anyone who is, check the full information on our website: mimbre.co.uk/learning/.

I send my dad details of a funeral insurance policy I have paid into, in case he ever needs the details, and he’s just emailed to say he is going to try and get a no claims bonus.

Some lovely feedback and pictures from this term of Mimbre Youth, by @heardinlondon.bsky.social. One of our aims is to teach fun skills so the participants enjoy moving. It’s lovely to see when that works and the difference it can make to the young people we work with!

I completely reworked my free boundaries workbook. Here you go: heardinlondon.myflodesk.com/boundaries

My friend Luke is a kid receiving infusions who's working on TogetherIV, an app where ppl can chill, play games, and feel supported during med treatments. togetheriv.com It would mean a lot to me if you guys could share or join the waitlist if you're getting infusions and interested!

If you ever need to visualise what winning looks like, I just saw a dog steal a pool noodle.

I made a new free workbook for folk who want to find a little more courage: Here you go: heardinlondon.myflodesk.com/bemorebold

i won’t stand for this shit any longer *has a seat* proceed

8am - 2pm: OMG how on earth am I going to stay awake this whole long ass Dani don’t think I will survive. 3pm onwards: I couldn’t possibly, or else I won’t sleep tonight.

a line of incredible cute scarecrow stuffies named “hay pals”….please give me one thousand dollars

naming a tree "jennifern"