We’re getting rid of leaf blowers by eating 50 leaves a day each. Get out there

breaking news the feds found 6, possibly 7 random assholes who wanted some attention

you take the blue pill, and you'll become drowsy, then wake up in your bed. in addition to relieving your headache, fever, and cough. you take the red pill, you experience relief for those same symptoms. but you won't get sleepy

I want to tie myself to train tracks and let a train run over me every time someone says that they like Gavin Newsom because he trolls Trump

It really should not go unremarked that Mike Johnson *just admitted that the President of the United States is unwell.*

ok i guess i'll just die then :)

the 2025 American dream is to be able to afford all the streaming services necessary to watch both the Premier League and the NFL

Imagine being a highly decorated starred general who has moved up the ranks over 30+ years being lectured on military ethos by a twice-fired millennial, alcoholic weekend news host. I'm sure they're going to love that.

Why do headlines say "norms shattered" when what is meant is "laws broken" or "Constitution violated"?

I cannot express how wild this quote is. This is a top tech analyst at a well-regarded firm saying that there is not enough capital to actually pay for all the stuff that NVIDIA and OpenAI has promised. It is so important that everybody realizes that *there is not enough money to do this*

okay, this is starting to get eerie. because yesterday at the store i bought a can of beans for $2.29. that was a number as well

If you were concerned about Kimmel, here's another for you… Journalist Mario Guevara has been detained for 100+ days, ironically arrested as he reported on a "No Kings" protest. The Trump-Vance admin just issued an order of final removal, to send him to El Salvador—where he fled from 21 years ago.

seems to me the main reason bluesky has a lot of desperately unhappy people freaking out about politics and world affairs on it instead of being like twitter was in the middle of the last decade is that you are using and discussing it in 2025 instead of in the middle of the last decade

Like the kind of girl Trump drew on Epstein’s birthday card, or a different kind

The fascist tactic when they know they’re fucked is to completely ragdoll and make everything as slow and difficult as possible, like a child being dragged to the dentist

my wife sprays me with a water bottle when she hears me typing above 100 wpm

What's your secret to being online all the time without contracting computer madness? For me it's being pure of heart

they need to stop making all these different movies. just make one movie where everything happens

Charlie Kirk would be happy to know that he was killed by a qualified white man and not a DEI hire

Sorry, folks. Sounds like the civil war has been postponed due to white shooter

Update: Civil War cancelled due to shooter being demographically uncooperative

Time to break out the chart

Yesterday: Charlie Kirk will lay in state in the Rotunda. He is New Jesus. Today: Ballroom looks great doesn't it

We have discovered the motive of Charlie Kirk's assassin: apparently they wanted to kill him

just want to say something we’ve all been thinking: go pack go

Charlie Kirk was a man so deeply committed to freedom of speech and enlightened, reasonable debate that you are not allowed to quote anything he said ever again.

charlie kirk died for what he believed in. in a very literal sense: he believed in a world where gun deaths are inevitable and the solution to problems is violence. he excused his own death years before it happened. and if anyone else had been killed he'd already be weaponizing and relativizing it.

An air of sadness hangs over 9/11 this year

It’s like watching a black hole form.

Don't you all realize what this means? The right will begin a systematic and extralegal oppression of their political enemies and vulnerable populations. This is the first thing I saw on the news after waking up from a 25-year coma.

The price of liberty

I encourage everyone to look out for their safety and practice good internet hygiene, of course. But some of the scolding posts I've read suggest we can change the awful aftermath of a fateful event by just holding our tongues and being quiet little mice, and that isn't my experience.

are we going to be sending the national guard to utah now to stop crime or is that reserved for cities with "other" people?

guy who pointedly refuses to call gaza a genocide has opinion on moral clarity

Agreed with the Cooler Heads here. This act of political violence may one day soon serve as pretext to justify federal occupation of progressive cities or even unaccountable militias imprisoning people of color without due process at impenetrable, inhumane black sites. Well, I sure hope not!

must sometimes be incredibly weird to live in the world you spent your life advocating for

this is just my personal pet peeve but it sucks to feel bad all the time and i am not into it

and for THIS reason, we have to ban guns.

Whether or not you support political violence won’t change where we’ve come to, nor where we’ve been for some time in this country. I am quite taken aback by how many people only invoke the term ‘political violence’ when it happens to a person with power. It’s political violence the other way too.

some events offer few good outcomes save for the momentary “well…” you feel and THAT’S OKAY

no offends if this is you but if you're thinking "this is going to make the right do fascism" they're already there. they blew up a boat with 11 people on it for being immigrants. they're kidnapping US citizens and trying to rendition them to Uganda. do you think we're on a trajectory to peace