It’s been called “MA BELL” - hold on let me make sure they didn’t already make that joke ok good - it’s been called “MA BELL” for 125 years a reason folks. Mama’s callin and Uncle Sam needs to pick up the phone.

He's going to be the token "Democrat" Fox News panelist on the The Five the day he leaves office.

I can’t figure out just why the stink lines/birth rate post resonated so much

Almost every Tiger Woods social post now is either “yes the rumors are true, I’m dating Pol Pot’s former daughter in law” or “I’m very sorry I crashed a car into a nuclear power plant,” so a standard-fare Memorial Day post is a nice relief.

“Where I grew up I had to walk 3 miles round trip just to borrow a bag of dirt from a neighbor. I understand small town values and my fat cat opponents at their Hawks games do not. Also my estate in Milton has a lazy river reserved just for the horses.”

“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” - Robert F. Kennedy, on fallen princes www.golfdigest.com/story/pga-of...

Really important that everyone knows that this is an understandable set of typos and Russell Brand has NOTHING to do with this incredible movie.

This may be true, but are the Knicks any *good?*

These guys are so stupid.

This is what happens when you get one of Merlin’s spells wrong

Which is a great program to be interested in if you’re far too online and are stupid

. @kvanvalkenburg.bsky.social and Gary Player delivering hits right away

Fulton County Dems ballot question threw me. “Should we raise the sales tax-“ YEP. “…to pay for tax breaks for the wealthy?” Welll that’s not why but sort of YEP still.

She’s not at the USS Arizona, I’ve personally checked and hopefully that will be some comfort to you all.

They're stealing billions of your money to pay off violent right-wing psychos while doing everything in their power to spike gas up to $5 a gallon, make groceries into a luxury and hand the country over to the oligarchs who want to permanently replace you.

If I were the opposition party I'd be saying anyone involved in creating this corrupt scheme will be prosecuted but also anyone accepting payments from it will at minimum be required to pay back the full sum with interest

Bounties for J6 pardon recipients, forehead branding for slush fund recipients

Feel free to follow up with just one of these interviewees to find out which socialist policies the Democrats have implemented and they so passionately oppose

It’s actually cool and good that having ESPN “Unlimited” through YouTube TV does not include games on ESPN+

Man, this is so true. I grew up in White Evangelical spaces. After Roe was overturned, I called in to NPR to state that the people who had spent 50 years laying the groundwork for this were just getting started. Everyone on the call treated me like I was crazy.

No argument here

CBS ripoff of “Only Murders in the Building” that no one under 65 watches, runs for 22 seasons.

My 2028 presidential platform is federally subsidized bounties on 2020 election pardon recipients.

Adam McKay made “Don’t Look Up” so he has bonafides when it comes to things that suck ass

Holy hell the @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social theme this week

Only because he knows RFK Jr wants the job and won't give it to him out of spite/read it on the back of a bad management book

A second possum has been found in the garage. Also, apparently Possum Bluesky is apparently real and found me due to this post. Normally that’s the kind of thing that only happens when @hollyanderson.bsky.social gets involved.

Oh who’s a sweet kitty

Imagine if the Mighty Ducks had come out for the 3rd period in their new Ducks uniforms and Iceland just continued to blow the doors off them. They would have felt pretty stupid.

Listen, when you mass pardon a group of people with no kind of vetting or process, you’re going to have a few hundred bad apples slip through

Setting off on my path to higher office by pretending I’m divorced and starting a “AITA: kids’ mom still expects Mother’s Day present” thread on Reddit

Restriction number 2: you have to doing the goatse position like the guy pictured is doing for some reason

A car designed exclusively by and for dumb guys is an irresistible siren song to a Krassenstein.

I will take up this challenge and name our upcoming baby boy accordingly. Combined with my own first name that makes Rodney Harriso- ah shit

I met Ted Turner at the proper place, the bar of a Ted's Montana Grill. The man stood by his product.

Fantavirus is what I get when I order apparel from any official team store

Believe it or not (of course you should believe it, why wouldn't you), this is fantastic.

Master Ninja, Master Ninja II, things of that nature

I don’t really think there’s any other significant politician in American history who would have sold the country out to people like RFK Jr and Elon Musk just to win one election. Say what you will about Nixon, but he wouldn’t have done *that.*

The former is Rick Jackson’s campaign slogan

happy star wars day to this tweet in particular

Everything ok at home, sir?

I bet on Great White because that’s both my personal size and personal majesty

Unstoppable force v extremely yielding object, sorry Sixers fans

My name is Rick Jackson and there are two things you need to know about me: 1) I grew up very poor 2) that experience has not caused me to have one iota of compassion for others Now, time for some gutter racism

Margo's Got Money Troubles, Grant's Got Money Solutions

My memories of the Average Times are mainly being at early season Braves games and learning from the dot matrix scoreboards at Fulton County Stadium that the Hawks had been eliminated from the playoffs. Pretty certain this happened more than once.

Patrick Kerney Keith Brooking

Oh good, Woke 2.0 will also feature a new Fetterman