We're going to end up with something like a Jags-Bucs Super Bowl, and America will deserve it

I also am too much liquid

Trump: "We've got a lot of stupid people in this country running things."

...dear Dem politicians & pundits, 1) the sports debate was never a serious issue, it was merely a wedge to launder in anti-trans policies (see: juliaserano.medium.com/trans-people...), 2) they are now going after trans ppl's *rights to exist* – that's where the battle is now! take a side in that!

Republicans: "I said we need gropers, not groypers!"

I am also an FBI informant in several felonies I totally did not take part in but still had intimate knowledge of

I'm here illegally from New Zealand! Plane ticket and cash please!

How dare you!

Always, always, always listen to sex workers, and always, always, always fight for their rights (and decriminalization).

More of this bluntness, please

If you ever see John Roberts in person and don’t tell him to go fuck himself, you’ll regret it forever.

Don’t send me an unsolicited picture of your peewee cocktapus unless you want me to… A: find your mom’s Facebook B: find a picture she uploaded of you reminiscing about what a nice young man you were C: badly photoshop that into a locket D: convince you I’m your daughter. Happy Father’s Day Daddy.

repost the Nap Guardian to your timeline to ensure a safe and prosperous napping

A blue Jay ate our baby hummingbirds. Please respect our privacy at this time

A swing voter is not a centrist. It's like, a guy who loves guns but has a gay sister, loves weed but hates food stamps because his cousin who owes him 50 bucks gets them. (Also, Osama was Iraqi.) You don't win that guy with a carefully crafted platform, you do it by not seeming fucking lame

@monaeltahawy.bsky.social Look what arrived just in time for Mother's Day!

The new Pope isn't anti-MAGA. MAGA is anti-Jesus.

Worst gender reveal ever

I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but the orcas now have two F/A-18 Hornets

how many months away are we from Elon making the Cybertruck into a “smart” armored vehicle he calls “Think Tank!” which immediately drives itself into the ocean while bursting into flames

25% tariff on a whiskey drink 37% tariff on a Vodka drink 85% tariff on a Lager drink 110% tariff on a cider drink 132% tariff on songs that remind you of the good times 138% tariff on songs that remind you of the better times

@eurolanche.com and @ballmerpeakco.bsky.social Pulling out the good stuff for the Game 7 ending!

Sending pre-game hugs to @kenhughe.bsky.social and @ballmerpeakco.bsky.social from David and Marian 🥃 from Slovakia. We will watch Game 7 at 2 am local time. #Avs

Lakewood, Colorado!

We will have a free giveaway tonight. You can get a signed photo of the current #Avs player. Spread the word and follow us here on our newly established account.

NEW: Only one Senate Democrat (Fetterman) has supported more Trump Cabinet nominees than Colorado’s Sen. Hickenlooper. “Sometimes a no vote, all it does is piss people off,” Hickenlooper said, claiming his support for Trump picks “reduced the damage” to Colorado. #copolitics

i go back to this again but the female resistance fighters that lured nazis back to their houses and stabbed them in the neck with screwdrivers weren’t talking about it down at the pub they just flirted and stabbed dudes in the neck with screwdrivers

So just to recap, the Transportation Secretary is scared shitless of public transport. The Education Secretary is being sued for enabling child sex abuse. The Health Secretary is bringing back measles. And the Defense Secretary is texting classified war plans to the editor in chief of the Atlantic

If cats want to be seen as classy they have to throw up less. That’s not a person problem that’s work they have to do for themselves.

My husband and I run a game store and after all the tariff announcements, he decided to write out kind of a "behind the scenes" of how we spend and spill it out for people who don't understand. He's had so many reactions and shares I wanted to bring it here, too.

@wyshynski.bsky.social Should we talk about how Ovechkin is close with Putin and maybe shouldn't celebrate anything he does, no matter how historic?

Cyber Truck: I'm the most ridiculous looking vehicle ever. Apocalypse: Hold my beer.

You use the officials USGovt secure channels to hide communications from bad actors. You use Signal to hide communications from the USGovt.

Chuck Schumer is a spineless and worthless man.