(And the one after that 😬) ✅

Jack Ciattathebed is this a thing

Dems in slightly more array

After those results, the Democratic response to GOP pressure to cave on the shutdown should simply be

Can’t wait to open all the big newspapers today analyzing the election blowout yesterday and see all the advice to Republicans how they need to moderate and reach out to Democratic voters and hang on someone is speaking in my ear

I'm happy that Mamdani won. But I won't let that get in the way of my celebrating Cuomo losing.

Obviously this means the Democrats are Radical Socialist Centrists

And may we never hear from another Cuomo in public ever again

Mike Johnson has never heard of New York City

PunditGPT: “Here’s why [candidate] winning supports my own personal political beliefs and how it confirms what I already think about the Democratic Party”

Next tattoo booked ✅

Andrew Cuomo Endorses Cuomo

Win for Bluesky that I found out first here

That Surgeon Who Always Books Friday Afternoon Addons Endorses Cuomo

If Mamdani wins, I will leave New York City in 2007

I was advised today in a medical clearance note to make sure to have “a well-secured heplock and normal saline infusion in case of a drop in blood pressure.”

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings, I am not meant to be ingested, consult a physician before use, especially for those with pre-existing conditions or who are pregnant or nursing. For any Ozymandias lasting longer than four hours,

What’s “rounds”?

Midichlorians are the powerhouse of the Jedi

No no that’s far too much ketamine

Happy National Forced Jet Lag Day to all who celebrate (almost everyone)

Everyone on Bluesky after Game 7 ended

As a Red Sox fan I’m happy for Dave Roberts, may he have nothing but good things forever #2004 #TheSteal

Canadians: [politely disappointed]

Daaaaamn that ended so fast

Vladdy!

Canadians: [growing more politely concerned]

This game is like I got caught smoking a baseball and now I have to smoke a whole pack of baseball

If you're in line to bat at Game 7 of the World Series STAY IN LINE

Miles Teller: “Well fuck.”

This game is what we saved all that daylight for

I’m enjoying the games and the drama, but I honestly believe if I was a real fan of either of these teams I’d be dead from a coronary.

Canadians: [politely nervous]

I just hope both teams have fun and their moms take them out for ice cream after

I love for everyone that this is now the baseball app

This is why baseball is still the best sport

Holy shiiiiiit

This either ends here or it goes until we change the clocks

[SNL cold open] Everyone just sitting around a tv watching Game 7

Hoooooboy

Blue Jays want it more

Did someone put ketamine in the candy? My hands forget which century they belong to. I keep trying to plug the moon back in but it’s humming too loud. The elevator keeps yelling at those fifteen dolphins to get a job. Everything smells like lowercase letters and THE DUCKS KNOW EVERYTHING!

TIL that “Rock, Paper, Scissors” is called “Paper, Scissors, Stone” in England and we were right to beat them in that war that time

LET THEM EAT BATHROOM