Today my daughter turned 14. She is only four years away from the age of one of my right-wing satire profiles. And we already know that if I put her same age, the messages would be just as bad. I know there are dangers girls cannot outmaneuver, no matter how careful or intelligent they are.

In America, opportunity’s absence writes the first lines of enlistment. Military recruiters are far more likely to descend upon low-income schools, drawing the marginalized into uniforms to defend a country that will fail them first, and mourn them last.

I shall finally be free of this wretched curse

For today’s trick, I make right-wing men care about clean-water regulation. Trump has proposed rolling back Biden-era restrictions on four toxic PFAS “forever chemicals” in our drinking water. Can I get the right to take a break from chugging raw milk enough to be riled up…

I exist to traumatize men. 1/2

THIS TRUMP SUPPORTER CALLED HIS PREACHER AND READ HIM MY FAKE BIBLE STORY. 💀 HIS PREACHER! As requested here’s the backstory on this guy. He’s a 60ish year old MAGA dude who responded to my satire profile’s post asking if men even read the Bible anymore.

Trump wants $1.776 billion to reward loyalty, including January 6 insurrectionists, in a country where children owe lunch debt and families calculate if they can survive the week. That $1.776 billion could have become:

In this game, I take beloved stories from elsewhere and rewrite them in full ‘Bibel’ style. Can the men who wave the Bible around to strip rights from others tell that my stories aren’t in there?

wink

1/3 The moment I read the phrase “Adele Masi Lessona, science writer and ghost translator of some of Darwin’s works into Italian published under her husband’s name,” I was instantly hooked. I think Adele would have liked her story told outside the walls of academia too.

Your girl is about to win 5 GRANDS

Good news: The Supreme Court is allowing mifepristone to remain available by mail, telehealth, and pharmacy for now. Bad news: They still don’t allow abortions of adult man babies. 😔

Romance, Fraud and Other Ancient Arts (Valerie is a beautiful Instagram model whose account has been hacked or bought. I censored her name below for the actual woman’s privacy.)1/3

Men use sexuality to intimidate, to frighten, to unsettle. I use it as a language. Turning their favorite weapon into their discomfort is one of my favorite games. It is their turn now.

An ode to death

Many children spent Mother’s Day without their moms because of ICE. I snuck into a right-wing mom group chat and made that their problem.

They do not have to silence a community when they can scatter it across a map until its voice is too fractured to matter. #SCOTUS

Have you all seen this video of Trump’s new immigration judge Melissa Isaak saying some women are just warm wet holes?

Why must I always have the egg

I play men’s games better. 💅🏻

I went to school with Alex Pretti, one of the people recently shot by ICE. On my personal Facebook, I wrote a post calling him a hero. The right-wing men arrived, filling my inbox with cruel hatred. Understand that I mean truly cruel. If that will harm you, please do not read this post.

(derogatory)

I caught a leprechaun🍀 #stpatricksday

It’s always the liberals

ʎuɹoH History: Anne Bonny 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘣𝘰𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦. Cont. below

Did a man send you an unsolicited picture of his…

Christian women love MLM pyramid schemes. They are of course called by God to sell shitty essential oils to his people. This hun (played by @aprilajoy.bsky.social ) made the mistake of messaging me...

Link! youtube.com/@letsnotdate

BRB doing this to all the right-wing men with Charlie Kirk profile pictures

And now you’ll see a group historically known as unicorn hunters, whose defining trait is an enduring interest in a figure that declines inclusion in their ecosystem.

PSA

How dare we?

1/2 Adopting Man Babies: Baby Joe 🍼 *For legal reasons baby Joe has had his face censored with the addition of some bad boy sunglasses and a mustache.

ʎuɹoH History: Thanksgiving, The Violence They Called Providence 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘣𝘰𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦. More on this linked in the comments. ♥️ New here? Hi I’m Brooke and I tell the right-wing men in my inbox history until they no longer wish to ‘date’ me. 😉

My very pale skin and I are on a family trip. Should the sharks claim me, let the men in my inbox know I slipped beneath the waves carrying no longing for them into the deep.

Happy International Men’s Day!

WOW. 102 children have already received $50 worth of gifts from our holiday mutual aid. But, there are so many more on this post, and more still waiting to be added. I need you all to do me a favor. Can you please share the post so that more people know this is happening? Links below👇

1/2 Someone asked me why my satirical conservative profile has her job listed as gay animal conversion therapy. This is why. 😉

Christian men are ALWAYS in my inbox worrying about the starving, tirelessly advocating for the hungry. 🙏🏻 THIS is Christianity. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.

It’s starting to feel like I’m the only one who hasn’t blown Bill Clinton.

After you laugh, read this. 👇

Cheating men slide into my inbox to bring me their wives, I assume. (Most of my posts come from a satirical Facebook profile of me as a conservative, but this creature found the real me.)

Ennui 💖

😏😏😏

This is hands down my favorite right-wing tantrum about Mamdani.

They’re turning the plants into biochemical factories that use sunlight to convert carbon dioxide and water into glucose while releasing oxygen into the atmosphere. ‼️

Just Halloween girly things. 👻

1/2 Every October, we play at fear, but beneath the masks and costumes, there are real stories behind the Halloween tales we tell for fun. This is a true story of exorcisms. Content warning: This story includes sexual assaults committed by Christian men in positions of religious authority.