I can’t prove it, but the signs point to Tylenol being behind Jimmy Kimmel’s return.

So fragile

1/2 Why must this man doom the world eternally with his ruinous appendage?

Oh my love, one thing I will say about the alleged Tyler Robinson confession texts is that the prosecutors have managed to unite the right and left together in a shared conviction that they don’t believe a 22 year old man fucking texts like that.

Aletta Jacobs was born in 1854, but her ideas and actions are far more progressive than so many people’s of today. This next guy joins us to get a picture of me. Or, I mean, learn about Aletta. Full post: open.substack.com/pub/brookete...

When my employer learns that I “celebrated” murder with eloquence, daring to raise my voice against the violence of guns, my ruin will be certain. 😔

I drove my daughter and her friends to Fright Fest, and while I was half-lost in my audiobook, I noticed their conversation turn to Charlie Kirk. My daughter said she hopes he’s looking up at us right now. 🥹 Sometimes parenting pays off in the strangest, most satisfying ways. #ProudMomMoment

This feisty one messaged the page for history, I assume.

“I think it’s worth it. I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment.” Charlie Kirk, 2023

This one was my very first pyramid scheme, boss babe troll.

This guy’s mom wanted me to tell him about Operation Ranch Hand. ♥️ New here? Hi I’m Brooke and I harass the right-wing men in my inbox with history until they no longer wish to ‘date’ me. 😉 I do not know these men, and my messages come from a satirical Facebook profile of me as a conservative.

At last I shall be cured!

1/3 Labor Day is stained with blood, born from the cries of workers who rose against their chains and were cut down in return. Today I want to share two important labor history stories. You can catch the second story, and this one in more detail, on my Substack linked in the comments.

almost there America 🥰 🇺🇸🤞🏻

Can he please just do it already because I need an occasion to buy a cake.

I’m getting married to this guy’s son!

1/2 LADIES: Get yourselves a good man who reads the Bibel

Yes, Gavin Newsom’s social media team’s trolls are hilarious. But I’m also a hilarious troll, AND I don’t have a history of punishing homeless people or platforming and agreeing with transphobic right-wing bigots. Put me on the ballot.

I’m getting adopted! 🥰🙏🏻 #blessed

Flapper headbands are an under-rated fashion accessory. Bad hair day? Didn’t shower? Have a pimple right in the middle of your cheek? Babe, that’s not a problem. That’s a job for a flapper headband. Do it for yourself, but also do it for me. I need these to come back so my kids think I’m cool.

1/2 On my quest to find a high-value Alpha, I decided to give portions of the 1917 Army Alpha intelligence test to a sampling of bigoted right-wing men. And just so we’re abundantly clear, I’m intentionally borrowing the language of the eugenicists who invented these tests.

Do men even send funny pictures anymore?

It’s the delusion that counts.♥️

The map to love has been drawn for me at last, and it leads somewhere I cannot follow.

1/2 ʎuɹoH History: Edith Cowan It’s real history, as told by some dude in my inbox and me.

June: They don’t need a month, nobody’s coming for them. A few months later: We’re coming for them.

48,586 characters. Nearly 8,000 words of quotes from American eugenicists, all in their own voices. I have dug through old newspapers, smug medical journals, asylum meeting notes, charity records, laws… . Horny men will choke down this history between thirst comments & demands for me to shut up.

Totally on the same page

1/2 The Very Hungry Woman 🥱 bedtime stories for men

In today’s politics, the message is often clearest when it’s cloaked. Let’s talk dog whistles.

Imagine hating me and I’m just in the woods telling men history like this

1/2 It’s been two years since Jason Aldean released his “Try That in a Small Town” video, filmed in front of a courthouse where a Black teenager was lynched. In this post are excerpts from a right-wing group chat. On this particular day, two years ago, they were focused on Jason Aldean.

This guy is looking for a water slide for babies

If you all keep sending me books off my wishlist you are going to get me pregnant. (Thankfully this is not possible for me.) I put my amazon wishlist in my post about books and, I think I may just be the luckiest woman in the world. Thank you!

Huh. I wonder what it was. (More book themed fun linked in the comments.)

Recently I wrote about 18th century sexual revolutions. At the end of that post, I quoted a man’s journal entry blaming novel reading for turning good women into temptresses and cheaters. This man didn’t make it into that post, b/cuz while I was explaining the dangers of reading, I discovered…

If only I could find a boyfriend 😭

1/2 Recently, in 1744, Northampton preacher Jonathan Edwards was outraged to discover local youth reading books on women’s secrets together in private… gynecology texts for midwives. The teens called these books the Young People’s Bible. I told an old right-wing man about it while he hit on me.

1/2 It’s history time. Wink. This young man is really into a revolutionary war-era courting tradition called bundling. (Find the rest linked below)

Right. Well this is now my new favorite description of what I do. 😍😍

Send help for my hole

Here’s how to tell whether or not a man likes you

Men! When you’re trying to body shame me, please don’t forget about my belly!

Hi. Vintage style sailor dress?

This is from when I told men there was a new law that all sperm emissions are classified as children leading to potential manslaughter charges...

This man caught me on a whimsical day of optimism. I don’t exactly want to call this one wholesome, because he still started it with homophobia, but it’s a step. You’ll see.

Awww. Was it something I said?

When he’s a southern gentleman 🥹

They’re never the rapists. It’s always someone else. Other men. Or maybe dolphins. 👇 Read the full post, it’s somehow even more wild.