Think I've Cole Palmered my big toe overnight. Must have kicked the wall in my sleep or something.

This is how I look at my tea when mums made me a toad in the hole.

Good morning. It's a balmy 5°C here in The North.

This is how I look at my tea when mums made me a toad in the hole.

Whenever I'm looking at those stairs that go in a circle.

The best thing about #TOTP posts is you look back on them a week or so later and you haven't got a fucking clue what you're referring to.

So this is what Michael Fabricant did before politics? #TOTP

Is *this* song about Cliff taking Viagra? #TOTP

Nobody under 40 is watching this now. Could get away with the uncut version before 8pm if you showed it. #TOTP.

He's gonna shit himself when he lifts his hat up and realises where he is. #TOTP

What goes on backstage at #TOTP? Lets not pull on that thread.

Is this song about Cliff taking Viagra? #TOTP

More than a woman? What...TWO women? 😱 #TOTP

When the potato masher stops the kitchen drawer from opening #TOTP

You can have Brandy *or* Monica, as a treat. #TOTP

Absolute banger of a song, but if you'd asked me I would have put it mid-2000s at the earliest. Forgot it was '98. #TOTP

This is the worst thing to ever be associated with the numbers ‘911’. #TOTP

9' 11" Their combined heights. #TOTP

THREE HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES OF #TOTP TONIGHT

Fuck yeah. That's the weekend sorted.

Ok but this is totally something Charlotte Church would do

Turning this off removes all the different inboxes and sorting and labels and you can't use them unless you turn AI back on. I am seething a little that I'm being forced to comply with a technology I do not want to be using.

Oh, fucking hell. This one stings.

Cheers Wes. I have a job. Now what?

laughing again because during a quiz there was a question about a famous pirate and I said to my friend just name any pirate and he panicked and said long bon jovi

I wish I was committed to something as much as Amazon are to trying to convince me that Jack Whitehall is in any way intimidating.

There are 4 types of guys online. No exceptions.

Me: “IT’S SNOWING!” Mrs Beth: “This isn’t snow, back in Sweden we went to school on kick sledges, and two metre diameter snowflakes would crush you, if you didn’t get eaten by frost giants or trolls. We’d make babies sleep out in this.” Me: “oh, it’s stopped”

We've had snow. It followed a load of rain though so it's immediately turning into slush. Hopefully that's the end of it as I have to leave the house later.

Disney+, you will address me as sir whenever I ask you what year the X Files started.

I own this game for the SNES. Bought it as part of a bundle when I had a retro phase around lockdown times. "It can't be that bad" I thought. No, it's bad. It's virtually unplayable.

FOOTBALL

Me, explaining to Brigitte Nielson, a Lego guy, Lars Ulrich from Metallica and Victor Borge why that definitely wasn't a penalty... #SCODEN

Ok. Fair enough. I might just go with it for a bit and we'll see what happens.

Thanks for the suggestion, Amazon lint remover listing, but I’ll stick to using it on jumpers if it’s all the same to you.

I've reached 500. True to my word I will not post a rap video.

Struggling to function today. Occ health call this morning was fine and not as stressful as I'd anticipated. They even confirmed it was best not to set a return date yet. Since that though I've pretty much been sedentary on the sofa. Cancelled a cinema trip and just napped.

Getting all my Cloudflare news, as God intended, from...*checks notes*... Delaware Online.

The Long Walk. Sinners isn't far behind though. Then Weapons, then Frankenstein. 2025 a banner year for horror I reckon.

Occ health call this morning. Therapy call tomorrow morning. GP appointment tomorrow afternoon. Meeting at work on Thursday. Maybe I'd be less busy if I wasn't off sick.

This must be that Thing sequel John Carpenter was on about recently.

Big news. David Duchovny has finally heard "Mulder and Scully" by Catatonia.

looking for christmas decorations on vinted. something tells me our beryl did not mean to upload that final pic, but I'm here for it anyway.

Hey. You know that thing you like that's not even 10 years old? How about you see it again but this time it looks like shit!

My mam just had an emergency alert test on her phone, twice. Loud noise and all. The rest of us? Nothing. Livid frankly.

The movie we deserved

Of course nothing bad happened to Prometheus after he stole fire from the gods, so Jeff Bezos and his liver should be fine.