I’m tired of telling people Ima beluga not a spheal

That’s it that’s the post

So mani typoz no fingors just finz :(

What’s taking so long Kira bear it’s not brain surg- Actually in this case ig it is brain surgery

pleased to announce that i am no longer a hot mess (it’s winter and i’m a cold mess)

Cats are slash pandas, raccoons are just trash pandas!

Guys raccoons dont exist they are all just cats in masks

I don't appreciate the super moon. I think it's arrogant

“I hate my Spotify wrapped” Oh no if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions

That moment when he says he’s 5’8 but you’re pretty sure he’s 4’11

Oh oh cowboys are one hit Oh oh the lions 360 no scoped HOME RUN (I have no idea what I’m talking about either)

You are not stink, you can go about your business

It’s bc I have no friends I need to branch out more

Guys all of a sudden I’m getting very sleepy

Yeah but if you get in a wreck you’ll have to clean up debrie

I see no difference

Trees sway at night because they're laughing and talking about you behind their bark

Bluesky but it’s just me and @blerrycat1.bsky.social quoting each other over and over again lmao

This is my impression of me telling the famous author Edgar Allen Poe how to play limbo Poe! Low!

This is my impression of a very tall stripper crying out trying to do her job but failing Polo!!!

Sticking out my tongue cuz I can’t remember what color my lollipop was we’re not the same

This is my impression of me telling the store clerk what shirt I’m looking for Polo!!!

This is my impression of me playing a game with friends in the pool Polo!!!

Farting in progress please wait….

Fart

The reply all button is the devil's playground

Get my lawyer in the phone asap Ugh you can’t trust anybody to do a job right anymore

Bc nobody likes plain pizza

Sneaking into peoples house and putting hockey sticks in their kitchen cause I’m bored just nobody tell @emily.gorcen.ski

Guys me and @sphealposting.bsky.social are best friends he just doesn’t know it yet

Guys farts are so trending right now Who wants to start a farting band? @twosense.bsky.social @deeks549.bsky.social

I had a dream that I was eating a marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone 😕

GET OUT OF THE WAY MY FRIENDS THROAT IS ON FIRE

Ima little beluga, meow meow

Good afternoon to everybody except the # 2 most followed cigarette smoking raccoon and except for the # 1 biggest fan of fridays. Not really specific could be anybody really

@yourcatbuttface.bsky.social I should teach squirrels how to be potty trained

Waiting in line at Panda Express hoping they don’t realize I’m not a panda

Got too much free time? I got you Give this playlist a listen: 400 hours of let it grow open.spotify.com/playlist/7wX...

Sorry not sorry I’m agent of chaos

Dude wth why are you playing that Nobody plays Mario kart world anymore

Holy cats

Minnesota aunt: oh I don't know Danel, maybe the rabbit, but not the others. We just don't have room, you see. Ok. You folk take care now.