happy 4/20

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

genuinely might be one of the greatest pieces of writing in history

It's disappointing that once Superman enters the public domain we're going to get a ton of shitty Superman horror movies and not movies about Superman beating up crooked rich people.

trans women have a biological advantage at being hot now

Mine would and would crash out if her reply was left unread for a while.

Of course she's going to demand to see the manager.

DuJour means friendship!

People who suddenly feel like their transphobic “jokes” and “fairness in sports” takes are a bad look while the government forcibly detransitions people don’t get to say “oh that’s not what I meant!” You did mean it! People told you what it meant and you did it anyways!

christina koch definitely has molly cobb energy though

Project Hail Mary (2026) 📽️

Morning 🤣

Today is officially the 30th anniversary of Steamed Hams. On April 14, 1996, "22 Short Films About Springfield" aired for the first time!

This came to me in a dream.

me every time I see the Neil pic

Memes sent to a reporter from people in “Trumpworld” about the current mood in the White House:

So once again a man started a wildly successful harassment campaign against a female celebrity who didn’t actually do anything and the internet swallowed it full throated, and the whole thing is revealed to be concocted horseshit he can’t muster anything more than “sorry that happened I guess”

This week, I will be forcing a vote on legislation to block the sale of nearly half a billion dollars worth of bombs and bulldozers to the Israeli military. The extremist Netanyahu government that has committed genocide in Gaza does not need more military support from American taxpayers.

-I don't remember these tv shows/movies. #MetalGearSolid #ResidentEvil #Metroid #StarFox

I have ancestors who fought for the Confederacy and immediately joined the Union the first opportunity they got. My family has a long history of quitting working for losers to join the winning team.

Happy Appomattox Day to all that celebrate

If she doesn't get her required 8 hours of nap time she doesn't have the energy for sleeping at night.

Doctors say that salmonella can kill you. A guy who snorts cocaine off toilet seats and cuts penises off dead raccoons says salmonella is good for you. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.

“America’s goodness” speechless

New shot of Earth from behind the Moon 🌎 📷 Artemis II

SOCIETY is on Youtube!! Obligatory: "har har my favorite documentary" but seriously this movie kicks ass, please watch this freakshow lol youtu.be/BFC7R059N2c?...

Chiitan loves transgender people from the bottom of my heart🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 From a fairy like Chiitan, it seems natural for everyone to live as their true selves. That’s why, until the day Chiitan disappears and is gone, I’ll keep sending gentle messages so that all transgender people can live happily.

Simple truths.

Happy Easter, for those who celebrate 💙

Its been an emotional struggle. I was deported. ICE came to my home after citizenship was rejected because I had a gender change in the application and forced me to sign papers that I would leave within the month. 16 years of my life reduced to nothing because I am trans.

Happy First Contact Day! Only 37 years to go.

NASA just dropped this image of Artemis II astronaut Christina Koch looking back at us. The first woman to ever see our planet in its entirety. I’m not crying you’re crying 🥹🔭🧪 📸: NASA

A humorous art piece featuring sketches of pop culture characters mashed up with the face of Mr. Bean, created by artist Howard Lee. #art #drawing #sketching #caricatures #mrbean

This planet — with all its troubles — is worth caring for. That should be our single purpose, as a species: To be stewards of this magnificent world, ensuring it thrives long into the future.

they've never once listened to us about our lives and experiences. they just make stuff up.

If you see this, I implore you to post a picture from whatever device you're using with no explanation.

There she goes, the luckiest woman alive.