You can't be 'addicted to dopamine'. That's like saying your favourite food is food! This is a hill I will die on.

Immediately went and looked up the Star Wars Podracer Lego I got when I was 12

Now I know all the rude labels are applied manually I'm considering this confirmed

If you're going to put your headphones through the washing machine the Google Pixel buds are a solid choice.

I would never put on the ring of ultimate evil because unlike you fools I am in fact made differently, it could not corrupt me because I do not crave power and am smart enough to see through its deceit, smart enough to rule justly, maybe even smart enough to wield it safely

Halfway through having a chat with a team member about attention to detail and lose all credibility as we discover a very similar error I've made in the process 🤦

When you put your house up for sale and wonder if prospective buyers will question your design choices, take comfort in the fact there is guaranteed to be something weirder out there

not even the end of january yet and I feel like I need a two week vacation to just Not Do Anything give me a sensory bubble and a large pile of escapist fiction and leave me alone

It's so so bad

Quotes on this are a long list of people I've only vaguely heard of and their terrible deeds And Neil Gaiman

o7

Watching Skyscraper Live (not live because that would be even more terrifying) and heckling all the interview segments 'You've got to think logically about these things' NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING IF LOGICAL THOUGHT WAS A PART OF THE PROCESS!

Every time you feel like starting a race war, just watch a couple of tool restoration videos and see if the feelings go away.

Update: Not gonna lie, it wasn't great

I am reminded of that YouGov survey in which 12% of men vs 3% of women claimed to believe that they could win a point in a tennis match against Serena Williams.

Today I used the coffee machine we've owned since 2019 unsupervised for the first time Everybody please clap

Love watching a van blow through a red light while the driver browses his socials

My dental health summed up: "oh, can I book a checkup while I'm here?" *clicking rapidly* who is it you see for check ups? looks like you've seen every dentist here "Well I saw M for some fillings, S for my braces... *several minutes later* ...and so I think it's J for checkups"

Still in 'feeling a bit unreal' phase of my ADHD diagnosis but then I read this and wonder how I got this far without it being picked up Because this is the story of my life, getting 60% through something and having a visceral urge to do something, anything else, just please God let me switch tasks

I feel like if I were immortal I'd be so good at procrastinating. Like putting off learning French for 500 years. Things like that

This is very important journalism. Big kitty soft.

So anyway, Andrew Wakefield should be in prison for the rest of his life.

How would you tell someone about it over the phone? Remember that you're *describing* the thing for someone with impaired vision. If you're posting a picture of a painting, what's more helpful, writing the name and artist, or describing the colors and the subjects depicted?

For any UK Heated Rivalry fans that have decided to get into hockey, I've just discovered there are NHL games on ITV4

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Finally watching Murderbot and cackling at "don't treat it like a person, you're upsetting it!!"

"My husband complains about the cold," the man said. "Can you teach me a spell to keep him warm?" "I can teach you to bind hair into a net to catch heat," the wizard said, "using arcane counting and a pair of fine wands." After a while, the man said "Isn't this knitting?" "This, too, it's magic."

Our toilet taking tips from software programs, apparently just explaining the problem to a plumber was enough to fix it??

Legal adult content providers in the UK are shutting down because of the #OnlineSafetyAct, and Elon's allowed to do this. It's fucking rank.

“Why am I so sad today?” I ask myself after staring at my little handheld sadness machine and clicking all the sad little things that will definitely make me sad

I just thought everyone should see this

Everybody shut the fuck up and pay attention to the most important thing happening at this moment.

I just took a big bite out of a chocolate that on reflection turned out to be in a shiny metal wrapper. No I don't know how I didn't notice that either. In other news, guess how my ADHD assessment went?

Given how many times I've thrown my keys/sunglasses/anything else that's happened to be on my hand in the bin I should never go to the tip

In case you needed to see something NOT terrible tonight, we millennials will get to relive Cool Runnings as grown-ups!

Having now finished watching Heated Rivalry I can only conclude the casting process was a butt line up

always a lot of panic about right wing young men, the second most progressive demographic in britain

I used to request my prescription through the NHS app whenever/wherever I wanted & pick it up in minutes, now I'm sat in the pharmacy for 25mins and counting and this is apparently 'more convenient'. Make it make sense

Many, many wines in, reading Letter From Birmingham Jail (no excuse to not having read this earlier in my lifetime, it's been saved on my phone for quite a few years) Holy Fucking Shit

I contain mountainous volumes of unfathomable existential anxiety & also whimsy

My yoga class is 35 minutes away, I left with exactly 35 minutes to go (20 minutes after I planned to leave) with a "NO! I WALK" toddler in tow. 20 minutes in (approx 0.1 miles away from home) realised we've forgot her comfort toy and now we're just giving up and trying again next week 🤦

I think it would be quite nice for me to be able to wake up in the morning and think about my plans for the day, and more broadly about my own little life, instead of immediately having to ponder the overnight actions of The Guy Over There

Gandalf's "a wizard is never late, nor is he early" and Kesha's "Now, the party don't start 'til I walk in" are essentially the same sentiment

Morning

A friend is fundraising for his football team, HotScots, to be able to travel & represent Scotland at The Gay Games in Valencia this summer. Please check out the details & donate/share if you can.

Legit just sat down to have a snack as I forgot to eat lunch and then somehow, forgot? I was working? Just sat here for 15mins scrolling, looked over and saw my laptop and went oh yeah, work 🙃 In unrelated news I have an ADHD assessment booked this weekend.

The irony of doing my health & safety mandatory training on my laptop without any peripherals sat cross legged on a dining chair

I've been sick for a solid 2 weeks, saw in the New Year coughing like anything, looked after sick husband and toddler and have now lost about 70% of my hearing due to completely blocked ears. 2026 is kicking me when I'm already down man

If only there was as much effort put into improving youth services, making sports, arts and crafts available and affordable, and making the physical environment more 'teen-friendly' as there is for banning kids from social media or taking their phones away.