THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT THANK YOU

the onion's called shot will end up being true no matter what

This week in P-hacking

Love wins.

I'm so excited about the practical magic sequel but I can't help but be heartbroken about their frozen faces. The greatest actresses of my childhood look like they're being waxed and bottled for aesthetic preservation.

My hottest take rn is that neurotypical ppl should be banned from talking about clavicular.

I understand why audiobooks take longer to publish, but that won't stop me from being constantly mad about it.

It’s infuriating when a woman comes forward about a man raping her in his hotel room after drinking and the response is “Why would she go to his room?” “Why would she drink with him?” This is Mike Pence logic. Women should be allowed to hang out with men without expecting they will be raped.

Just finished Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke, I'm a bit floored by it. I can see why Anne Hathaway snapped up the rights to the book immediately as it hit shelves, and I can't fucking wait to see her adaptation. She's so good at playing deeply unhinged heroines.

The photo choice on this is A+

It's so far very good and also a nightmare. Definitely recommend.

Read the blurb and I've never needed to read a fiction book more in my life.

Good time for it.

No hate to Mindy Kaling's new show but I'm tired of seeing 20-somethings in New York, give me 20-somethings trying to date in small town Michigan. Give me 50 minute drives to meet a tinder date at a Little Ceasar's who ghosts. I want yearning. Where is that show.

The thing that I think it masters the most is that "not picking up on social cues" doesn't mean we don't understand if someone is happy or sad or whatever, it means we don't understand the subtleties of communication when it seems more sensical to just say exactly what you mean.

I know it's unfashionable to label characters as neurodivergent when they aren't diagnosed, but I truly feel that "The Other Bennet Sister" is a love letter to autistic women and girls everywhere, and I am so grateful for it.

Speaking of, tiktok is filled with propaganda fancams of Jarhead made by people who obviously either haven't seen the film, or don't understand it - I'm developing an eye twitch every time one appears on my screen

Lrp I am once again humbly recommending everyone to read these two novels.

Erm, they're called palaeontologists, actually.

My job is to research ads on social media, which basically means my job is to doom scroll, and I gotta say today is the worst possible day to be on the clock

If you’ve never called your congressional reps before, do it right now.

I might be late to the party on this one but everyone should be putting chilli crisp on top of their tuna salad, cause holy shit.

Might have a second baby just cause I don't have the emotional or mental capacity to sell all of my kids old baby stuff on Facebook marketplace.

The 30 Rockification of real life is nearing completion

this would be an amazing way for It to happen

In other news, I couldn't remember Anita Bryant's name so I googled "orange juice homophobe" and you know what

Someone sent me this.

Me, whenever I date a woman

What a great April Fools prank from Albo

Albion.

Damn I thought Albion was gonna chuck a Rudd and drop a cool thousand in my bank account. Smdh

Breaking: Rob Schneider has been drafted and sent to Iran

Went to Aldi to buy cheaper chocolate eggs but they were more expensive than the ones on sale at woolies where I'd just driven from, spending probably $12 on fuel which is the price of the discounted egg. Anyways I just bought myself a chocolate and went home.

Can't stop thinking about a study I read years ago that said black women were enlisting in US defence at a higher rate than any other demographic, largely bc they offered actual healthcare and welfare services. It's a horrifying example of social engineering. I feel so sick for these women rn.

Once again I am begging newsrooms to stop headlining things Trump says, and start headlining actual things that have happened. 🙏🙏🙏

These people have a funny way of saying "Environmentalists have been proved right yet again."

Truly grateful to every single person who has read or listened to Where it all went wrong: the case against John Howard - it has meant that even without a huge amount of institutional support, it has been a chart topper 💖 (To those who complained it's biased - guys, the title kinda gives it away 💋)

It’s a good day to revisit this Ursula Le Guin quote. In the best possible reality, Earthsea would be the dominant fantasy series for children.

Am alive somehow. With no caretaker, too!

Just finished reading Shrill by Lindy West. If there ever was a time capsule for "millennial optimism" it's this book. I can't believe how positive West's outlook for the future is, holy shit.

Please remember that the new Harry Potter show is putting money directly in the pockets of anti-trans groups, including a fund designed to legally attack trans people. Supporting this show isn't benign. Also, it's probably going to be terrible so just watch The Pitt or something. xo

In case you didn’t know, the new Harry Potter show directly funds anti-trans work - if that’s not aligned with your values, maybe it’s time to stop engaging with the franchise and show your trans siblings some love! 🏳️‍⚧️❤️

when I tell you this t-shirt I just found in a thrift store was the best six dollars I've ever spent

How do I tell my algorithm that I simply cannot afford any of the products they are advertising to me. Can I send it a photo of my local servo? Screenshot of the Guardian front page? Somebody help me with this pls.

Idk what it is about anxiety that makes me crave gossip, like, yes please tell me more about Lindy West's polyamory, of COURSE I want to know about Chappell Roan's security guard yelling at a child, the world is falling apart let me basque in the frivolity, I don't want anything to matter !!!

I have a few auditory sensitivities but no sound is worse than an American attempting to say "Melbourne" with an Australian accent. "Melbun"

Here is your reminder that you can grow potatoes by putting a supermarket potato in dirt with the eye facing up. You're welcome. (Also maybe water it)

All that research millennials dedicated to surviving a zombie apocalypse when we should've been researching recessions.