Ad Rock: you can disagree with the current All: POPE MCA: but if you push his buttons then you’re a All: DOPE Mike D: ordain yourself a bishop and you’re All: SCHISMATIC Ad Rock: excommunication is All: AUTOMATIC

witnessing the birth of a new all timer post is such a beautiful thing

We had a really mean python at work and I gave him back to his owner and was like “he was trying to kill me” and his owner said “well, he only has so many ways to interact with the world. All he has is a face” and it Moved Me

Had to go back and get a super long receipt

My neighbor has two beers and her dress on backwards

We're here at The Great American State Fair where thousands have gathered to celebrate our nation's birthday with performances and fun events!

Met a celebrity today

"The Veldt" by Ray Bradbury

happy june 27th to all who observe 🤲🏽

Now that I’m firmly in middle age territory whenever I hear something referred to as “a quarter century” like “this building made office furniture for a quarter of a century” I’m just like shut up man that’s hardly anything, don’t try to trick me with weighty phrasing

I was so fucking wrong for clowning on my bf’s Miami Vice era, this episode has Edward James Olmos, Steve Buscemi, and goddamn Willie Nelson

this is a terrific opening paragraph for a dystopian pulp novel released in 1997

hey man just letting you know you're on camera

Double feature

My bf is making me watch the Ted Nugent episode of Miami Vice

Just like I remember it

The best part is that they keep saying they paid $900 for a book event and a *cacao ceremony* (I’m team unwell woman)

My bad

👐🏻❣️

Can’t wait for next week’s episode

please,,,, my dictionary is in shambles

I'll fuck you. Are you close to Fort Worth?

Still thinking about this today. It’s basically a western

I just saw The Death of Robin Hood. It was great! Here’s my non spoiler review

I’m crying

Calm down man

There are dozens of us

Ranch

When a “online gallery” sends out a call to artists with an application fee

Oh you were doomed by the eldritch king of Lost Carcosa? *the damned crowd is on the edge of their seat in anticipation* Here's your yellow sign! *entire audience of cursed souls absolutely loses their shit*

found out you can borrow a button maker from the public library

Remembering a multi-day conservative freakout because Lizzo briefly played a founding father’s flute

People are talking about the leak as if they didn’t move the SitRoom to Mar-a-lago and put up curtains lol What pisses me off more is that we once again have reporters hanging onto extremely newsworthy info so they can sell a fucking book

Look, this might be the funniest thing I've ever read.

Update: I thought it was four Benadryl but I’ve been corrected. My neighbor starts her day with 5 Benadryl

some of u on here

Would love to see a poll on how many people are aware of Morrissey imposters vs Morrrissey’s own dipshit quotes

This is the piece

It’s the last few days of school and a kid saw me start *another* secret plate and shrieked

please look at Charlie

Guys I nailed my presentation and printmakered too hard and now I’m being offered a job

I’ve managed to go my whole life without having to do a google slides/powerpoint presentation. Today I have to do it in front of a room full of 20yr olds.