ugh why does it keep crying

It's not even midnight and we're already at "Deport Elmo."

They're hoping this scares people into never criticizing politicians but in fact it only encourages me to word my insults in whatever way I think will be funniest being read aloud by a semiliterate cop to my doorbell camera. "Um, ma'am? Did you post that 'Gavin Newsom gargles Nazi cum, winky face?'"

Clorox coming out with a bold "huff bleach" ad campaign

“Anti-Snoring Mask” Mmmhmmmm. 🤣

protestors have painted what appears to be a tunnel on the side of the mountain, causing ICE agents to run into the mountain at full speed. disgusting.

This is a vetted fundraiser for the family of Renee Good, the woman who was killed by ICE in Minneapolis. www.gofundme.com/f/support-fo...

Literally a publication for eight-year olds 40 years ago

I’m at Times Square, where an emergency “No War On Venezuela” protest just took to the street. Easily a thousand people here in real-feel 20°F weather. “No more coups, no more wars, Venezuela’s not yours!” “No boots on the ground no bombs in the air, U.S. out of everywhere!”

Saving this screenshot from Threads as a new reaction image

Video game ads in the 90's were something else...

We joke about this being a weird week but it’s a weird fucking week. You’re going to want to rest and be frightened of resting. You’re going to think you want to work. Focus will Be a ghost. Eat some cheese, drink some water, keep a Notebook nearby, let yourself drift.

joining the "cybertruck owners only" group on fb is one of the best decisions i've ever made. every so often when i'm scrolling through fb getting pissed off, i get to see a little treat like this

Andrew Tate losing the day after Jake Paul…? Is the world healing?

The Epstein Files, everybody!

President currently feuding with a beloved American comedy icon who was murdered 24 hours ago.

There's a pretty great Tumblr post about this:

Who took this picture of me? 😅

John Romero got frustrated while posing the model for the first Doom cover that he did it himself and the model originally hired to be Doomguy is actually the demon grabbing his arm

Meets Zohran on Friday, dressing like an East Village poet who wrote something called "A Fairest Autumn" by Saturday.

Look guys I’ve spent the last day playing this over and over again. Don’t read the comments first and stick it through to the second verse. It is in fact one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

With SNAP benefits going out late, nonprofits are begging for pet food donations to prevent desperate owners from surrendering their dogs and cats to animal shelters.

serious note: they're gonna try 5x harder to sabotage the midterms after tonight and we're gonna have to organize on a literally historic scale to stop them

ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume

sure, you might not be able to eat or go to the doctor, but check out how nice Trump's new marble shitter is

I’m telling all ya’ll right now, if I see anyone making food content for the next month and it’s just bullshit food waste, you’re dead to me.

“They’ve got money for ICE and golden ballrooms but not for hungry families” is so easy it’s almost funny

The Jokes write themselves...

SNAP benefits expire in one week.

someone who's good at the economy is this a good deal?

I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1650

I Photoshop Paddington into a movie, TV show, or pop culture until I forget: Day 1666

Photo from my collection, writing on the back says “General Nuisance. Summer 1954”.

The president of the United States ladies and gents Or someone doing it in his name bc we know he’s not smart Enough to be able to do any of This

“Our parents aren’t having children” Yeah, because this place is a fucking hellscape. There’s also plenty of children in the system that need help that ya’ll refuse to feed, let alone help, but god forbid a woman rather an abortion than being another human being into this country.

the amount of time conservatives spend thinking about childrens genitals is legit crazy

This is Dumbo, Mela, Peaches, and Chiquis. They are a championship napping team. Their built-in sleep masks give them that competitive edge. 13/10 for all (TT: brokeboilopez)

Hot off the presses! If you need a bigger size to print your stickers let me know!

Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile debuts tonight on The Onion's YouTube channel at 7 p.m. ET. Finally somebody will release some dang Epstein Files if you know what I'm sayin'!!!

Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT. Only at The Onion on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU

The most important political thread of our time.

One of the proposed designs for the 250th anniversary commemorative silver dollar

Jesus. You think it can’t get any worse, then you read these stories. US citizens and legal residents illegally arrested and held for days. **Native Americans** getting detained and held for days because ICE agents are too stupid/racist to know about tribal IDs.

Banned Books Week starts on Sunday, October 5—there are a ton of ways to support! Find ways to get involved here: www.ala.org/bbooks/banne... (If you're overwhelmed, even just checking out, buying, or elevating a banned book is helpful! Talking about them w/ the ppl in your life is an action!)

This is simultaneously not an especially radical theological belief and, politically speaking (especially in the U.S. context), quite a thing for Pope Leo to say. www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/266859/...

I'm ready for the next World Cup⚽️ サッカー大好きですっ☆特に関節技が得意ですっ☆

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

AOC: We should be clear about who Charlie Kirk was. A man who believed that the civil rights act that granted black Americans the right to vote was a mistake… His rhetoric and beliefs were ignorant, uneducated, and sought to disenfranchise millions of Americans.