Guy who spent hours making his mii perfect so he can romance his crush in Tomodachi Life: so what’s my mii up to on your island??? Is he up to anything cute? It’d be lowkey weird if he hit on you haha 😊 Her: he’s married to Mr. Bean and Mr. Bean is doing some stupid Mr. Bean shit.

The Popeyes Gum-Gum lemonade is kinda bad and they didn't even mix up the purple goo syrup in mine, BUT they gave me an extra biscuit and like double the wings I ordered

😴 WARNING: this emoji is currently being used as a dogwhistle by online SLEEPYHEADS to indicate their TIRED fantasies about lying in bed and closing their eyes for 8 hours.

Now that is a face you simply have to tune in to see every week!

Tapping the sign #dorohedoro

"A totally original take on The Cronin"

I've been frustrated with my cats' auto feeders being very inconsistent and was about to build my own feeder instead, but it turns out the damn thing just has a fucking ESP32 in it anyway. Now I can bypass their dogshit optical sensor logic and put in a load cell to actually weigh the food

me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen

Clavicular, Androgenic, and Woah Vicky are going to have an Y Tu Mamá También summer

honestly every day

You must meet Levi Yoder

In my latest for Playboy, I wrote about meat, masculinity, and "boy kibble," the trend of men eating a pack of unseasoned ground beef for dinner. I argue it's the perfect meal to illustrate the isolation and nihilism in our ultra-capitalist system www.playboy.com/read/lifesty...

the nl cruise could have been goated..

dreamt there was a big movement on Wikipedia to add 'But who knows? Something beautiful may have happened' to every page about some incident where someone died horribly and mysteriously

Can't even get sucked off on the NorthernLion cruise anymore. We used to be a country...

The only "Unc Gamer" you'll ever hear me talk about is *MY* Unc who works at NINTENDO. He says the Switch 3 is going to come out on my birthday and it's going to come with a luigi's mansion game where all the ghosts have faces of people you actually know in real life

A few months ago they were threatening to put random wine mom libs in camps over Charlie. Some guy got so mad he called my job to get me fired + threatened to kill me even though I hadn’t said anything. I had to cut contact with people irl. Now we don’t talk about that but these memes are normal lol

I'm so glad MarriageToxin is getting a good adaptation. The ED goes crazy

Smiling Friends finale verdict - I'm still frowning. Better luck next time dipshits

Thinking about establishing a swinger community on the NorthernLion cruise

doing the Leo pointing meme when they mention the Fischer-Tropsch process in Dr Stone

When the nasty critics attack, only a Kind Jester can protect our smiles and fix this fucked up society. hogcast.com/episodes/cha...

we are watching a review of the new Bojangles chicken rippers

TECH ISSUES FIXED I THINK

STARTING IN THIRTY MINUTES. TAIL TIME. OR SO HELP ME GOD.

Whenever I am forced to do work shit at 11pm on a Friday I think I should be allowed to hit my boss with a hammer

Me when I open up Feeld for the first time in a month

THIS SATURDAY AT 8:30 AM PST! @drpizzastone.bsky.social is trying to convince me hardcore Gex is good. 1 hour for each entry in the Gex Trilogy. It's time to tail up or shut up. Join us at www.twitch.tv/alpclam

ran into your girl at the aquarium

Okay first of all some of us are nonbinary millennials on weight loss drugs, so shut up

Metal Gear Solid Movie dream cast

british girl who says "yum dot co dot uk"

I've got to go to a stupid data center trade show later this month and with the increasingly dour outlook, I'm going to be doing the Grinch smile the entire time I'm there. Just soaking in the misery

I'm glad he stopped trying to take over Hyrule I guess

If I was in congress right now I would change my out of the office message to “can you believe this shit?” That’s politics

whoever does it is gonna be remembered for centuries and reincarnated as a lotus flower

can't stop saying "the games they're playing are dog" to myself

A bunch of comedians that wanted to say slurs without consequences which they were already doing, are gonna be like “I didn’t think he would do war crimes” dude, all he does is crimes.

I'm so fucking sick of random congressmen trying to hype us up on alien disclosure. You gotta at least show me a body of an alien to get me to give a shit anymore. I believe I will look at it and immediately be able to tell if it's real or not by gut instinct

Damn the Needy Girl Overdose anime is kinda going for it. I got jumpscared by an ultrasound image that flashed on screen for like one frame

tatsu my GOAT i should have never doubted you king

On the Hogcast we recorded yesterday, @pissgoblin.bsky.social and I created a character that we believe will change society. You are not ready for "The Kind Jester"

I'm very glad that SBR will be weekly when it comes back this fall. It's just very funny they weren't like "hey here's the premiere as a 40 minute special, see the rest weekly this fall" and had to be forced to say it after people sent them thousands of images of Johnny as Smiledog