Artemis ii

Man I am tired of living in These Times

Close enough

“While I will soon appear once more upon the earthly realm, My sole focus during this Second Coming will be various woodworking projects and not the establishment of a messianic kingdom,” said Christ, the Light of the World

Just a wild guess, but I expect that Newsmax shareholder has offset that $13 million with Polymarket gains.

🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🤣😭🤣

And for opening day only, they should give us quad-quad boxes.

oh shit oh fuck I don't have nearly enough Robux to bribe these ICE agents.

30 years ago today. whole lotta bangers on this list.

Just the story of his name is one of the coolest things of all time

Shoutout to the dude in Beirut whose sick ass scooter wheelie made the WSJ front page

Holy shit!

fix my door stop stealing my dough stop disconneeeectinggggg my videoooooo

I still think this is a strong contender for the funniest video ever uploaded. Absolutely unbeatable comedic rhythm

Jason Isbell Explains How Music Is Like The News But For Sounds. Subscribe to The Onion at https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfegPAAQ.

A very important point that underlies all of this.

This is a legit earworm

Oh man I can't possibly imagine how good that felt

The surrealist You Can't Do That on Television/Monty Python steez in this Bubble Tape ad. The coke must have AMAZING in those ad shops. Fishscale next to the coffee maker probably.

europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz

My birthday is next month, if anyone was wondering what to get me.

The perfect car decal doesn’t exi-

The strait of Hormuz is open for transit

My Pixel now has a thing where you can play "audio emojis" (i.e., sound effects) on phone calls. At first I was annoyed, but I have been having fun with them when I accidentally pick up a spam call.

Dr. E F P T O Z

The Strait of Hormuz is open for transit

The Helicopter Mommy party: poised to swoop in on a split-second's notice to protect Republicans from the consequences of their own idiocy.

Keep in mind this is a feature, not a bug, for the GOP.

Iran has the world's last F-14s. Reading some aviation nerds talking about if it comes down to it, they'll have no choice but to root for the F-14s just like Top Gun 2

the entire pitch of Cuomo was that sure he's a loathsome sex pest but he has what it takes to stand up to Trump, and then the hot leftist starts every phone call with "what's up big dog" and gets Trump to do whatever he wants.

Why my joke gets no likes

Bluesky has the juice

The 2nd to last comment made me laugh so hard I'm crying

Speed skaters not wearing socks with their skates is offensive

Happy anniversary to those who celebrate.

Was trying to remember a Will Forte quote from Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie and accidentally figured out how to make Google’s AI tool shut up

OK so I watched the last two laps of the NASCAR race and that was the dumbest racing I have ever seen.

@mikedsykes.bsky.social Feel like you should know one of the U.S. women's curlers is One Of Us. She curls in 550s instead of special curling shoes.

At 9:18, 3rd period of the Finland-Switzerland women's ice hockey QF game, the ice crew came to clean the ice during a pause What follows is the funniest use of the slo-mo alternate angle tech I've seen them use during these Olympics of one of the crew members falling

The Battalion is paying attention! #BTHOcensorship

I love that people are now discovering the batshit crazy “Pam Bondi tried to steal a dog” story.

CHOCK AND BATES ARE CRYING LAUNCH THE FRENCH TEAM INTO THE SUN

Welcome to our weekly game, Violent Atrocities or Gross Incompetence? in which we try to decode minimally informative breaking news without scaring the chickens

found the full report! ny1.com/nyc/manhatta...

A dresser inside a museum in New York City has been discovered as a secret stop on the Underground Railroad — the first of its kind discovered in Manhattan in over 100 years