Every four years Americans wake from their slumber to insist offsides makes no sense and must be fixed

(the red aside like 90% of these major calls have been super correct and it's cool actually that things are happening as they should)

Cristiano celebrating in the Diogo Jota jersey

Modric is going to boil up some roots and newts and cast so many spells on this ref

Whaaaaaaaat

Describe the economy in a single sentence

Reminds me of when Larry Bird reluctantly kept the young, no-experience Frank Vogel after his interim stint. Legend said fine, OK, we'll let you give it a go for a full year — but only if you hire Brain Shaw as your assistant (reportedly). Worked out well for Indy though, Vogel ruled.

cristiano ronaldo | portugal v. croatia | 2026 world cup | all skills & highlights 🔥🔥🔥

it appears Portugal has decided to start Ronaldo in a World Cup knockout game

Croatia flag bucket hat is incredible

Look, the jokes are funny. he's washed, shell of his Ballon d'Or-winning self, maybe holding back his country at times. but at the end of the day we all just want to see this team's broken, 40-year-old capitan have one last dance and take his team as far as posible. today, we are all luka modric!

That ain't coming back. Knocking on the door for awhile and that felt inevitable. Now the game opens up even more, hopefully.

Just say no to the pared de carne! Goal will not stand.

The chatbots of people

Today's NYT jobs report coverage (left) compared to exactly 2 years ago under Biden (right). Notice the numbers.

119' damn. This stinks, stinks like trash.

World Cup has no respect for my schedule

It's usually the Belgians who waffle 😬🙄

Keeper is gonna want that decision back.

This stinks but also rules. The World Cup!

Lukuku sealing on the low block like Charles Barkley, bully ball post work

THERE HE IS

Lukaku seems like he should be 38

Europe ain't shit, that much is now clear

as a bald guy I should be able to use my HSA to buy cool hats

If you ever encounter a writer or storyteller talking about a project they're working on currently, the very best thing you can do to encourage them is think of something else you've heard of that's like vaguely maybe similar to what they're saying, and tell them about that immediately.

Harry Kane after this graphic flashed across the screen:

Would've been fun but way cooler to lose in CDMX anyway

Claro que no

"That's one of the most important goals England will score at this tournament!" Thanks, man, glad you're here, I had no idea that was marginally important.

Harry Kane (and Jude to a lesser degree) is the only thing preventing England from remaining laughingstock. We need someone to arrest him.

How does every American analyst they put on broadcast have the same, most-annoying voice you've ever heard?

Goddamit

Kane has 2 shots?? Jude has only 38 touches???? What is this game even.

These next few minutes are pivotal for Congo, need to protect this lead going into the fourth.

19 minutes feeling like 190 minutes

These first 20 minutes have taken, minimum, fifteen hours

Why is time moving so slow right now

Not starting Saka is insane

Hershel Walker Kessler (hopefully with less brain damage)

You can’t own anything physical anymore, everything is digital, you can’t own anything digital now, storage is too expensive, you cant stream anything because they took it off the service once their parent company got bought out, you can’t get a McFlurry because the machine is broken

Respectfully but very strongly disagree with this. The number of comedies made between 1900-1986 that still hold up are numerous, every decade in there ripe with them. What hasn’t held up is general audiences’ interest in watching anything not made in the last 25 years. The movies aren’t the problem

well that's fucking amazing. good lord, lmao, thank god this comedian pulled it out of the fire.

It's OK, England prepared for playing at elevation by going on the London Eye

Norm is being nice. Ecuador's attack was embarrassing tonight, this wasn't even close tbh. They got Guayaquil'd.

Wait til they beat England!

Ecuador going for an old fashioned red now too, classic

Hand to Mouth Red, Chao señor

Ecuadorian wingers are just playing pass at this point