there needs to be a sex offender registry but for ice guys. you should have to go door to door when you move to a new area and inform your neighbors that you used to be an ice guy. they shouldn't be allowed with 500 feet of a school

What if none of these things is a distraction from the other things and instead they're all just horrible things

I like libraries

transgender for everyone this new year

she hum on my bug til I scrooge

Poseidon's Kiss: America's Bidet

I don’t mean to sound extreme, but I don’t think we should have torture camps for people with criminal records either.

Erika Kirk has Kenneth Copeland vibes. That intense, unblinking blue-eyed stare. A smile that never quite reaches their eyes. A voice like an evangelical parent who's about to "discipline" their kid.

solidarity with trans people and death to fascism

do you think ilkka villi knows about the zootopia abortion comic

you can be the most reasonable, intelligent, measured person on the planet and 3 minutes of a migraine will have you looking longingly at a drill and considering whether trepanning was honestly that bad of an idea

i have one of the insufferable illnesses known to man and its "when i see or hear a phrase that mildly references something im interested in i shout the name of that thing out like it's the last piece of sanity im clinging to"

fuck Francine Rivers

You never want to hit someone with the nuclear "As stated previously" in an email but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do

bye bye piece of Chex mix that fell in the couch you live there now foreva

one of the coolest things about ChatGPT is how you can actually just never use it. you can fill your whole entire life with simply not once using it. it's incredible.

the outer worlds games truly understand what I want in a game: stealing anything I can get my filthy little hands on whether I need it or not, and making friends and forcing them to all live in a big house with me :)

who up installing their orbs

IT guy: is your computer always this slow? me: yeah that's normal IT guy: *quietly* no it's not

i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff

who up tresing their leche

shoutout to exhausted and disheveled women. i love you exhausted and disheveled women

me: I miss you my friend of ten years: I miss you too! me: omg he misses me too??? 🥹

she honk on my shoo until i mimimi

Long live Yaoi

I cannot begin to properly articulate how upsetting it is to have had people baselessly accuse trans people of being groomers and pedophiles only for it to come out that they were deliberately doing this as part of a project to provide cover to actual groomers and pedophiles in positions of power

The president is a person who would be unable to survive in this country if he had to live independently for a day. He wouldn't know what to do at a grocery store. Never mind applying for a job. What good is he to us

good morning i hope everyone’s ween is sufficiently hallowed today 🎃

who up dowsing their rod

“some people abuse SNAP” your soul is rotten

I thought someone was using the bush outside my office as a drug drop, but it was just a pack of frozen chicken breasts 🐣

Can my body tolerate eating mushrooms? Not really. Do I care? Not really.

there are so many shapes of boy

My newest pet peeve is when a podcast host searches something online, reads the result, adds "but that's from the AI summary, so maybe it's not true," and then leaves it there. You've said nothing. You've contributed nothing. Just scroll down! Go to Wikipedia!

"I don't do drugs, I don't know what grams are!" — Phil Lester (2023)

me: hmm what should I make for dessert today my very tired husband: ...gay salad

There is so much more to me than being super duper gay. I am also very annoying.

me: I didn't vote for this guy because he's endorsed by this other guy, who sucks husband: oh yeah he does suck me, wondering what policy he's thinking of: you know him? husband, a delivery driver: yeah he has a stupid driveway

who up jostling in their balls

freddy fizzbitch

who up carousing in their drunkenness

Y'all who keep lecturing protesters to "not give them an excuse" need to pause for a minute. Imagine yourself telling a DV victim, "Be sure not to mouth off or make any mistakes so he won't hit you. Don't give him an excuse! It's what he wants!" That's what you fools sound like.

who up decalcifying their pineal gland

"well what are the Democrats supposed to do" I don't know! They're supposed to know! I'm not the one who sought and obtained a political position that would require me to know what to do when the ruling party attempts to install the President as a dictator!

new gender just dropped (via my husband): "ouran girl-boy"

who up procuring another to execute their task

they should build the star wars bacta tank. it doesnt even matter if it works i just want to float in a warm goo tube for a few hours

shoutout to the dumpies in the trees