hey, it's me, the guy who built your ecommerce storefront. I know exactly what users want which is why I made it so that when they right-click on a product listing, instead of opening the listing in a new tab, it just opens a stupid little 500x500 px image of the product instead. okay love you bye!!

saw david byrne last night and it was for sure one of the best shows I've ever been to... different stage effects for every song (most of them way crazier than this), his band/dancers were incredible, and david himself still sounds fantastic

we've been stuck trying to get out of this parking garage for like 40 minutes now and I just could just barely hear a familiar song being pumped in through the speaker system. roll down the window: everything she wants by wham and we're finally almost out of here let's fucking gooooooo

caesar sees her seize her

apple typhlosion

(scrolling Bluesky) I reject the premise. I reject the premise. Granted. I reject the premise. Not my fetish. Granted. I reject the premise. Funny. I reject the premise.

I was just thinking how I haven't had as many stress dreams since taking low-dose beta blockers but then last night I dreamt about having to beg the capricious ghost of an incan child mummy not to turn me into a shrinky-dink rearview mirror keychain. so idk

Everything is bad now because kids get their taste in music from algorithms instead of from trying to impress the older girl you know who looks like the Bombchu Bowling Alley Operator

Still thinking about this note I found in the children’s section of the public library when I worked there back in 2018. This kid tried to warn us…

crazy that ciabatta wasn't invented until the 80s. how many other possible breads are still out there, waiting to be discovered...

me before an MRI

finally hit an important relationship milestone with noelle (sitting her down to watch malcolm in the middle with me)

🥹 <- emoji for when you're admiring the beauty of spring but also you have allergies

sometimes when I drive past a street sign I just think how much it would suck to give that name over the phone if you lived there and had to confirm your shipping address or whatever. and today I saw possibly the worst one yet: "loxton cellars"

there's already tequila if you want a joke pick for karaoke night but what about one step beyond by madness… except you HAVE to skank during the instrumental parts and (ideally) get five of your friends up there to do the train thing

thing I need to remember and so I'm writing it down here: sometimes when you delay an unpleasant task, you're not actually delaying it. you're just making it longer, and also even more unpleasant

I haven't posted these here in a while but I'm still compiling them... indarktrees.com/roundups/int...

I didn't realize siegfried and roy were a gay couple but I especially did not know that they were both the sons of nazi soldiers who both just happened to get into magic and exotic animals and shit and then met while working on the same cruise ship

pulled up a timed figure drawing website on my work computer so I could sketch while watching a recorded call and I specifically picked the "clothed models only" option but it kept showing me women in like skimpy elf outfits with their nipples visible...? how do I explain this to IT

welcome back italo disco

thank god i found it again

okay she finished playing and I was thoroughly underwhelmed. my expectations were low (I thought DE was meh and TC was bad) but even as unnecessary sequels go this was not the best attempt they could've made at one. also I forgot there's a LiS1 TV show in the works too. [smiles painfully forever]

noelle's playing the new life is strange and when this butch security guard character showed up she was like "lol this dyke." turns out the security guard's name is..... noelle 🫵

at physical therapy and they're playing millennial retirement home music in here. I just had a complete vision of being 85 years old in a cafeteria listening to gwen stefani's sweet escape

getting he/him'd by a 6'4" cis man makes me feel a certain way...

Enough

"mcdonalds releases fig and ladyfinger mcflurry for fancy boys who desire a treat" gets a lot of mileage in our house because I keep joking that it describes noelle but she forgets every single time and then gets to rediscover it anew

I hate to say it but if you're striving for anything resembling accuracy in any kind of near-future speculative fiction then at least half of your american characters should probably be named some variation of Kaedynne or Breighdon

catfishing.net #637 - 9/10 🎉 🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈 🐟🐈🐈🐈🐈 the mythical 10/10 still eludes me...

good morning

people are making Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny bits right now because of Chuck Norris's death and I think its important to note that today is also literally Mr. Rogers' birthday

Scully: Stop hitting yourself Mulder: An alien is using both our hands to hit me

I really need to schedule more TMJ botox... and also more microneedling... and if I'm committed to getting repeatedly stabbed in the face it feels like I should throw in a piercing for good measure. or maybe a tattoo

banger bluesky posts from u.s. posters 2023: horny joke about being queer 2025: political events and president shit 2027: common neighborhood birds you can safely eat

i don’t like this painting in my hotel

I have a hot pot hangover (dehydration-induced migraine from yummy salty broth and then three alka-seltzers to help with indigestion from yummy salty broth)

the hot pot server who just hooked us up with a crazy good deal for noelle's birthday had a visible hickey and afterwards she was like "he deserves another" lol

nyc pics... we went to 30 rock to try to stalk jenna maroney but she wasn't there. and the wind made a fool of me

when bigots say shit like "mass transition regret is inevitable" what they mean is that their goal is to make society so hostile to trans people that trans people decide to go back into the closet. thats why a bunch of terfs got all depressed when trans didn't go away after that supreme court ruling

not sure if it'll last but Almost getting stranded in nyc temporarily cured my fear of flying... we hit some turbulence in the first hour or so and the whole time I was just like "I'm so glad to be this plane right now"

nyc kinokuniya is doing huge promos for two yuri manga series right now (including a love bullet display in the main window) but when I actually walked in the first thing I saw was a row of the heated rivalry books with their ugly little covers. my "2026 is the year of yuri manga" post is cancelled

Linux (for PlayStation 2) Release 1.0 / PlayStation 2 / SCEA / 2002

8 Red Coins Frozen by PayPal