getting off the toilet on wobbly legs like a baby horse being born

morrissey releasing a roxy music cover in 2026 is my 9/11

stared at browt so much i had a vision

ledian is back in gen 10 so you know what that means... randbats is getting another 40% win rate mon 🔥🔥🔥

According to internal files and interviews, Luigi has been part of Super Mario 64 for 85% of its development time. New insights from development data allow us to narrow down when exactly he was abandoned, being the two weeks between February 6, 1996 and February 20, 1996.

I saw one of the most important shirts I’ve ever seen last night

I've submitted so many notion bug reports at this point that they should really be paying me as a QA contractor... and you know I write a damn good bug report

idk if the current costco CEO does this but the #lore is that sinegal used to visit every single location at least once a year just to check on things. these guys do not fuck around

he sent this email at 9:01 AM

"lesbian fujoshi" will be in the DSM-6

Damn, even Sesame Street is scoring off me

buys this for my nendoroids to sit in

I just got a Batman tomagotchi from the 90s. So far all he does is pace around nervously, do pushups, and think about Batman.

early wham will always be so funny to me... god, the boy you put on this earth to belt and wail is singing wham rap

It is February 6th. On this day, Mewtwo was born. Happy birthday Mewtwo.

"Goes hard, I'm afraid"

my new insurance member ID has a P in it which means every single time I give that sucker over the phone I'm gonna have to resist my natural urge to say "P as in penis"

sometimes I'm grateful that blizzard fucked up overwatch beyond all recognition because if they hadn't I know I'd still be playing that shit

looking back now at anything I did or said from 2020 to 2023-ish is like... I don't know who that was. that was someone else

*sequencer clap*

Hey everyone! Huge news! Our trans girl scout list has sold a total of 146,000 boxes as of today! But MANY trans girl scouts only have 20, 30, 40 boxes sold. I just resorted our list to put those on the top. Go get your girl scout cookies and make a trans kid's day!

I got a sports massage on thursday that fucked me right up (in a good way) but I'm still so sore that I might need a regular massage to balance it out

Reviewbrah looking like a beautiful robotics ceo 200 years in the future played by tilda swinton

The Matrix (1999) Dirs: Lana and Lilly Wachowski #oneperfectshot 📽️

We have a perfect Rectangular February coming up, first time we’ve had one since 2015 Maybe this is what finally closes the loop and fixes the world

imagine being so good at a crime that they actually rename the crime after you, like if you were so great at doing murders nobody called it "getting murdered" anymore but instead called it "getting [your name]d." For Charles Ponzi, this is no mere hypothetical

certainly copywriting is not some sacred art but if I have to read one more random company describing their shit as "it's not <product>--it's an experience." or whatever I'm going to scream lol

just thought of a joke to capitalize on the "2016 vs 2026" trend but I'm several weeks late. maybe I can say it anyway and we can all pretend (1) that it's relevant and (2) that it's funny

Dems are gonna miss last week when they could've grabbed for "abolish ice" sorry now it is "imprison ice" keep up

idk why but seeing this guy walking towards me feels like i’m about to be sued by Sprite

playing ghost of yotei and I keep unintentionally pulling out my katana because some mysterious force compels me to mash L1 whenever I'm running around or on my horse... which I realized is because that's the button for the terrain scanner in death stranding 2, a game I finished months ago 😐

someone in a nail polish subreddit created a shade that matches the one in this photo and is selling it on etsy so she can afford to buy her boyfriend a bulletproof vest to wear while doing ICE watch at home depot. we live in hell but we are going to fucking win.

do we know if alt-j ever recovered from this

You: It can’t happen to me. The state: we looked into this white guy we killed and we do feel a need to bring up these parking tickets

At the end of the day, the Black Lives Matter era was about whether people should be killed in the street, and lots of people decided yeah and put those little blue flags on their cars. It spread to everyone because it stopped for no one.

Del Monte Daniel Craig Popsicles (2009-2009): To celebrate National Ice Cream week in the UK, Del Monte decided to release cranberry, blueberry, and pomegranate "ice lollies" modeled after the shirtless torso and head of actor Daniel Craig

the bathroom at this katsu restaurant has a heated toilet seat... I just sat down like 😳‼️

modern eyes modernize modder nice

peak exeggcute and exeggutor

thinking about how the chinese trans community calls estrogen "debian install media"

[cinemasins voice] in great expectations, miss havisham isn’t actually old, she just looks like shit because she never goes outside. but if charles dickens knew anything about skincare he'd know that staying out of the sun is great for your skin and would've given her a perfect dewy complexion

was thinking of quoting that last one with "i hardly know-er vortex" but then this popped into my head and I laughed for 5 minutes

There is going to come a time in your life when you are chatting with a guy, at a barbecue or something, a new coworker maybe, a dad at school drop off, and he tells you he used to be in ICE. You’re going to need to spit on that guy

my dumbest insomnia lifehack is sleeping with an ice pack every night (the kind that doesn't turn into a wet mess as it melts) but so far it seems to work... if my legs are sore it's good for that but I think it also lowers my body temperature + heart rate enough to calm me tf down

noelle's watching sleuth (1972) and I did not realize young michael caine looked like a proto-jude law

people whose most frequent talking point around gender is "you don't need to want medical treatment to be trans" should have to articulate their worldview to a roomful of trans kids who have been cut off from accessing health care