I will jam this song like it came out YESTERDAY

I just got the worst papercut in history and let loose the loudest expletive this building has ever heard

She ain't looking at the food 🫶

wow, geno just said “jesus was with us the whole time”. that's gotta sting for team usa, they love that guy

Bottom of the 9th Down by 1 Championship on the line No Fear...

I saw an old dude at the store wearing a green kilt for St. Paddy's Day. I am confused yet utterly impressed.

How come our moon doesnt have a name? We gave other planet's moons names. Awesome names. But ours is just "Moon". Thank you for coming to my TedSkeet

Where are you getting your couches, in this world? Its a serious question. Seriously, want to get a new couch with plenty of room and wont fall apart in 3 years.

What if in 20 years an actor named LeBron B. James comes along and people spend weeks arguing about whether him or Michael B. Jordan made better films

🤌🤌

Again?!

🚡

I’ve got 99 problems, but they’re all how tired I am.

I have the sudden urge to play pong pong and I haven't even seen a pong pong table since 2007.

this word takes up so much space in my head that i'd rather be using for other things

Finally. Asking the important questions.

World Baseball Classic: "Team USA has a roster of MLB and AAA players, top to bottom. Canada's pitcher, Aumont, is a farmer in Canada and bottle maple syrup from his own trees"

Fish Sandwich SZN Whataburger Whatacatch 6/10 stars

My weather app said it's good weather for running and it's a lie. There is no weather good enough for me to run.

Work today is gonna be...ruff

www.maptap.gg March 13 99🎯 89🎉 84😁 98🎯 88🎉 Final score: 914

“As a thought experiment, imagine if this regime had The Death Star, instead had the Starkiller Base that could reach an American city ... think about what a terror that would be”

When is the last time you saw a Plymouth Prowler in the wild?

This is honestly the most feasible and rad option available.

I am officially off my diet

Krav MAGA

Thanks, I hate this.

Italy wins USA's in 🤌🤌🤌

my new year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating

Single ladies, ready for the best 37 seconds OF YOUR LIFE?

Kind of hate this. Liked Osa alot and he brought some toughness.

2026 Frank Sinatra: Stop spreading the news

Ok, yall got me. I did this thing today. www.maptap.gg March 11 98🎯 96🔥 86🎓 90👑 83😁 Final score: 885

He looks like a muppet when they do a full body shot and they’re awkwardly standing

Why like a skeet when you can reskeet it and make someone feel noticed.

Bam Adebayo tonight: - 83 points, 2nd-most in a game in NBA history - 36 made FT, most in NBA history - 43 FTA, most in NBA history - 22 3PA, tied for 3rd-most in a game in NBA history

Tell me there's a storm outside, without saying "there's a storm outside"

I got reposted twice in 1 day so maybe show a little respect

This, but 72 games with baseball. Kerr advocates for reduced schedule: 'We need to take 10 games off' thescore.com/nba/news/349...

And on that solar farm there were no animals e-i-e-i-o.

This World Baseball Classic crowd is the loudest baseball crowd I think I've ever heard.

"Hmm, yes. This case is going to be RUFF. Hopefully we dont find ourselves BARKING up the wrong ... (Ring Doorbell Chime)... RAWRRAWRRAWRARAWR!"

I miss 1993

Me, watching Gorillaz on SNL, remembering when that song came out 25 years ago:

I just realized this dude, from Captain & Tennille, real name is DARYL DRAGON and Im so disappointed in my own name. #thanksALOTmomanddad

Forget everything you THINK you know about crab stuffed jalapeño poppers

Gentlemen, it’s Women’s History Month, so maybe take the initiative and explain what that is.

It's weird I actually had this thought recently.

Facebook is full of smut and unrealistic pricing now

I ate avacado toast for breakfast. I get abs now, right?