the deep silence between my friend and i after episode 1…..can’t even say death to the greens or some shit bc of the fuck ass sheep dragon

starting house of the dragon season 3 im gonna pee myself

ra ra Canada ⚽

weho does pride so early in june that when other cities do theirs i’m always like “aren’t yall tired already??”

absolute height of comedy is when they cut to the goal and you see how many kid keepers they've got

happy friday

EYE WANT YOOUUUHHHHHHHHH

On Wires by Carly Rae Jepsen

this song is going to do bad things to me

oh carly rae the mother that you are

viva turkey

i went here and everyone knew you

drunk af at the straight bar pondering my D&D campaign

bad bunny i am free tomorrow

straight bars hiring bartenders are like: “looking for the slowest people around. the ideal candidate hates the idea of serving customers efficiently”

The Democratic Party freaking out that Democratic Party candidates are winning is the most Democratic Party thing ever.

boo switzerland boooo

yay BART

just broke the news to my hot and hung fwb that I'm moving for school </3

don’t ask who my receive my most recent text

God announces book chapters 'Old' and 'New Testament'

The Carly Raenaissance

i wanna go to the nude beach so bad even tho it’s gonna be like 68° and probably windy someone fix me

I WANNA BE A GIRLS GIRL

The urge to tell a man happy Father’s Day today

in oakland for a week

i love sportsball

someone needs to take this Olivia Rodrigo album away from me

goodnight

civilization 7 they could never make me hate you

If he were a Columbia student and said this his citizenship would be revoked

unemployed so i’m starting love island

this is what it must have sounded like when alexander the great met with his top generals

me listening to prettiest girl in america by meg stalter:

i love it when the landlord replaces the good wifi with terrible wifi for no reason

shoutout to scrambled eggs on toast

dawg eat dawg in an entertainment world

making love with this arabiatta sauce

your unemployed friend on a Monday:

Me and bestie:

You do not have nearly enough contempt for political news media

CRANK IT

accidentally went to a bar while they’re playing the soccer game