i love to leave my glasses in a place that only me with glasses would be able to find later

how british people looked at me when i stepped off the plane for uni with 5000 ibuprofen in my bag

streets are saying it's feet pic friday in my dms

[Electronic Arts voice] WA-TER SPORTS... IT'S IN THE BALLS

i thought sabrina was saying 'my slutty vagina's not tempting him in the least' and i was like you know what sure

'even good boys bleed' is about comforting ur bottom btw

y'all be like 'twitter refugee ✌🏻😝' and then post on bluesky once and go back to twitter like do you know what a refugee is

going to model castings just to offer head to those waiting in line

i love one (1) boy

charging me fourteen (14) american dollars for a mike's hard... george mason university you will be dealt with

marrying guy fieri's son so i can be sky fieri

they said noooo stop talking about all the money we invested in ai war drones

my favorite thing about republican administrations is how the democratic party just gets relentlessly whacked for anything and everything like calling them a 'domestic extremist organization' is cosplay level of funny thing to say out loud like they don't even do anything LMFAOOO

liam payne posthumously getting his nudes leaked

forged myself dual adamantine longswords and i'm feeling so cunt

selling a vendor all my items and then pickpocketing the money back because capitalism doesn't fit with my fantasy

just saw someone say they carry around a dead squirrel in their inventory and use it to store potions

my gaming buddy fr

just stopping dead in my tracks every time i see all 4 party members fail a survival check

killing two men who were rude to me in the grove, drinking a strength potion to throw them into an abyss, selling their belongings to the grove merchant

women born on 9/11 still have one more year to secure a short-lived relationship with leonardo dicaprio

MAGA 3 days ago: Chicago is about to find out the meaning of WAR MAGA today: the left needs to stop condoning violence

'political violence has no place in 2025' and 'political violence is historically a successful means of overcoming oppression' are two statements that can exist at the same time

Love how folks are preemptively blaming the Left for the violence the fascists were already going to inflict regardless. "Things will only get worse because you celebrated." Don't fall for that stinky bullshit

“please join us in lighting a prayer candle for charlie kirk”

Well anyways...

Charlie Kirk’s murder happened on the first stop of his ‘Prove Me Wrong (The American Comeback)’ Tour.

this day was supposed to be about malamar 🙄

taylor said you will begin to cough in 14 days

peer pressuring lae'zel into consuming another parasite brb

turning my tv off when i'm in the pause menu bc i have a fear of burn-in

i hope peacemaker opens one of the dimension doors and it's just the fortnite map and that's why he ends up in fortnite

yeah it's pretty easy to make history for shit like this when you uhhhhhhhh buy up all the other properties

being unemployed is so silly like my job is just cuddle spyro rn

it turns out the first boss of silksong is purchasing the game

silksong release crashing all marketplaces... absolutely classic

shaking my little twink ass in some armani briefs today... for him

gritting our teeth with determination and yelling 'right!' in unison before sex

absolutely fucking sick

love that white british woman, i'm sure she'll eat

i bet you can't guess which scream was mine

this footage is clearer than my fucking eyes, i am STOKED 😭

about to watch my mayhem ball videos for the first time on my tv 🤩 those bitches are 4k60 and horizontal for a reason

to my bitches on here not enjoying themselves to the fullest: may i ask if you've gone to @moderation.bsky.app in your browser and changed your hide/warn/show settings? a lot of things are hidden by default and it's important to tune that to your liking 🤩

i think you bitches need to collectively stop posting recent twitter screenshots i am very much not on there for a reason 💙

i fucking love oomfcock

lmaooooo this dumb shit just doesn’t fly anymore