Always wanted to post a mushroom that I found

It has rained enough finally for the burn ban to be off My burn pile is bigger than I prefer, but it's go time

Did kettle bell swings for the first time in a while & I’m now walking like John Wayne w Lindsey Graham’s finger up his ass

Decker......"Get me some whiskey and cocaine and then fire everything". #AllStarTrek #StarTrek #StarTrekTOS #TheDoomsdayMachine

Please do not ask bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

With so much awful news, here is something to brighten your day:

Alpacas don’t really have opinions. They are present. They read your aura quickly. If you have inner peace they know it. If you are toxic or troubled they wish you well but go the other way. Their hobbies include listening to birdsong, chilling at sunset, & meditating to the sound of the river.

I'm crying, this is so funny, he has absolutely no idea.

I have to feed up. My big dad's moment of fixing the car failed. I had to get it towed into the shop today

Ashamed Meta Employee Just Tells Everyone He Works As Guard In Private Prison For Disabled Children https://theonion.com/ashamed-meta-employee-just-tells-everyone-he-works-as-g-1851012454/

Love it!

Seriously folks. Keep bitching about BS Developers, Features, or comparing it to twishitter and it's an insta block. I know you don't care because you all seem to be new/bot/twishitter rejects

Started reading the "Mongolian" trilogy last week. Not disappointed. Not at all. Then again, Neal Stephenson was involved

“We need the Supreme Court to save us.” Translation: “We tried cheating and it backfired, now we’re workshopping the loopholes.”

200 followers? 0 following? Bitching about BS? BLOCKED MOTHER FUDGERS!!!! Tons of these shit bags here lately

This belly ain't gonna pet itself: #AGoodPlace Source: www.reddit.com/r/aww/s/aFTp...

*holds the work week down and rubs his balls in its forehead* THIS IS HOW IT FEELS

I love entitled people. "Where is my order? I don't have any tracking info? me knowing he was emailed tracking info: "well it says here it will arrive by Saturday" Customer: why is the apt number wrong? I live in 104, there is no 105? Screaming in my headbecause HE filled out the form.

i can't believe you didn't invite me to spirit cook with will ferrell

SKYCHILD’S FALL (2006) Acrylic on Gessobord - 22” x 22” Commissioned out of the blue by a Japanese firm for a calendar. I never learned how the company got my name or contact info. After providing a summary of what they wanted me to explore, they left me to it. 1/2

I was once told by a coworker that "50% of the things you say are absolutely horseshit. The problem is the other 50% scares the fuck out of me!" Yeah, there for a while, "House, M.D." was my spirit animal.

I am 58 years old. This afternoon I will remove my first transmission pan and drain my transmission. I am gambling that I can do a simple solenoid replacement. If not, I enjoyed my little truck while it lasted

HAHAHA! That response killed me. And it's so damn true.

I have decided the grift by the trump regime is a tactic. They are criming at an epic pace in the hope that when they are finally arrested, there will be too many crimes to prosecute. They are trying to protect themselves via the sheer magnitude of their crimes

Pick your 5th Ninja Turtle: Burrito

The GOP entered this redistricting under the rather childish delusion they were going to gerrymander, and nobody would gerrymander them. In TX, MO, and a half dozen other states, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind

people are dumplings we’re just meat wrapped in dough (skin)

dudes rock

My "vibe" today on BS is "Blockity Block Mother Fudgers!"

The missus is frustrated over the fact that every time she tries to say "armadillo," she blurts out "aardvark" instead. It's a recent development and rather funny since we have an armadillo digging up the flowerbeds

Fucking fantastic! www.themirror.com/news/us-news...

Breakthrough in efficiency, the Framework Laptop 13 Pro with 20 hours of battery life. Linux-first with options for Ubuntu pre-installed. Featuring Intel® Core™ Ultra Series 3, LPCAMM2 Memory, haptic touchpad, and a touchscreen. Pre-orders open now: frame.work

*burrito at hearing* Agent: he spoke poorly of the government. Now his internet history will be released to his loved ones *Burrito giggling* Agent: what is so funny? Burrito: you're going to send my dad buttholes.

It’s a bong. There are lasers.

Yes, I've had my boss force his way into my house and drag me screaming from bed. I was 20. I had consumed a near lethal quantity of Wild Turkey the night before and I threatened to kill him with my bare hands if he didn't leave. Repeat. I was a binge drinking college student not a gov. Employee

How could it be any worse with a murder clown in charge? Pennywise 2028

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?".....no seriously....how did I afford a house?....lol JK it was dream.

This one, too! Putting together my "oh no, he dead?" playlist has put me in the best mood in months. youtu.be/3GwjfUFyY6M

My attorney has assured me that an actual Sock-Full-O-Nickels™ is ludicrous. His professional legal advice was to purchase two used padlocks from Goodwill and put them in a good hiking sock. I've met some of his clients. They definitely know shit

The only good conspiracy theory is that the McDonald's apple slices are actually potato slices soaked in Apple juice for 24 hours prior to bagging. I will die on this hill.

Why has the clock stopped? Must be a deep state plan to prevent me from enjoying my lunch

The "oh no, he dead?" playlists are coming along swimmingly!

Trump claiming the VA redistricting is unjust, meanwhile he first demanded TX and others redistrict to give him more congressional seats…🙄

Pricing boom boxes. When it happens, the people in my neighborhood are going to love the loop of Martha and the Vandellas singing Dancing in the Streets. Check the news to confirm, then come on out! There'll be dancing in the streets!

Tim Cook donated $1M to Trump’s inauguration. He fawned over Trump and gifted him a 24-karat gold plaque (as Apple lobbied for tariff exemptions). Apple donated to Trump’s White House ballroom. And it removed ICE tracking apps from its stores following a demand from the DOJ. Remember this.

This is the face that i come home to every evening . He is a mighty fine beast

Just checking on how the Invisible Hand of the Market is doing