A friend suggested the motto for the 250th Anniversary of America should be: meh. As opposed to my suggestion of: Welp, we had a pretty good run. Now I'm thinking of the Brando speech from On the Waterfront. (Paraphrased) We coulda been somebody. We coulda been a contender.

Celebration 250 Motto: "Well, we had a pretty good run."

Just in case you were wondering, our Bicentennial Celebration in 1976 was held in multiple venues, and the artists included: The Eagles Fleetwood Mac Loggins & Messina (Their final performance before splitting up) Dan Fogelberg Elton John The Beach Boys America Elvis Presley Bruce Springsteen 1/2

My friend Greg Proops has a new, improvised comedy album out. lnk.to/kiddingbutst...

If I’m not evolved enough to understand it, then why did they have to steal my writing to train it?

If your ass still thinks both sides are the same, please give us directions to your magical privilege bubble and whatnot.

There's a Russian nuclear sub moored in Havana Harbor. So that's fun.

They showed this version in schools for maybe 15 years and literally no one in my class had any reaction to a black woman being in it, someone yesterday said Eartha Kitt was Helen of Troy in 1950 and I looked it up and it was Orson Welles who cast her because she was a cabaret dancer and was hot!

The architect of our brilliant tariff policy, who managed to alienate every one of our allies and trading partners, increase China's trade surplus by making their products more attractive to other countries, and crush American farmers. They write in Chinese, do they? Sneaky fuckers.

If you like seedy detective noir set in post-WWII America (who DOESN'T??) and genuinely hilarious comedy writing, then read Razzmatazz and its predecessor Noir by Christopher Moore (one of my very favorite authors).

Razzmatazz, five bucks. www.amazon.com/Razzmatazz-N...

A.I. is about to lead to massive unemployment among skilled, white collar workers (and many, entry-level service workers). I'm yet to see an explanation of how we, as a society, will deal with it, but NOW would be very good time to talk about it.

Two towers, last night, San Francisco.

Just a suggestion, but once Dems take power, how about passing a law that says a government official may not sue an agency over which he has power? They will need to pass a massive anti-corruption law that explicitly forbids self-dealing, family dealing, -- well it's going to have to be big.

#DailyBat 🖤🦇🖤

SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! GOT HER MOTHERFUDGING EYE ON YOU SQUIRREL OF THE DAY!

Happy Mothra’s Day

The NRA buys off Congress. No action on guns. The oil industry buys off Congress. No action on climate. Insurance companies buy off Congress. No action on health care. The list goes on and on. Money in politics is the root of our dysfunction.

This resiliently upward stock market is driven largely by A.I. speculation & investment. You and I are using A.I., often when we don't realize it, and we're not paying for it directly. Seems to me, the only way for companies to get their $$ back, is by raising prices or firing humans. Your thoughts?

Dang, and I had just settled into always referring to him as Piggy. I guess now it will have to be President Bitch Piggy.

Risking my life among the ne’er do wells on the crime-ridden streets of San Francisco.

A man knocked on my door yesterday canvassing for a local congressional candidate. He led with his guy being a Bernie guy, then moved on to policies. I commended him on his work, then said, "I'm sorry, but I won't vote for any "Bernie" candidate because of how his followers behave. 🌹¯\_(ツ)_/¯🌹

The odds of being murdered in your own home by psychopathic waterfowl are low, but never zero.

I'm interviewed along with @maureenjohnsonbooks.com and @theauthorguy.bsky.social about the Anthropic settlement www.vox.com/culture/4878...

I think the administration embraced the tech disruptor credo of, "Go fast and break things," without the attention span to get to the second part, "and build something better."

Found this APP for my new hobby.

Listening to Rachel enumerate the failures of this Administration is my new self care.

86ed?

This short excerpt from my 1999 novel, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove: Mavis helped the man to a bar stool. “Get her out of here,” Mavis said. “She’s eighty-sixed. This time forever.” Theo kept his eyes locked on Molly’s. “Are you okay?”

@danpfeiffer.bsky.social Congrats on the Sixer's win, Dan.

A $400 million dollar ballroom? A billion dollar a day war of choice. Tens of millions on golf trips. $60 million dollar birthday parade. Disbanding the Forest Service A billion $ to STOP building wind farms (may be 2bil.) And these monsters want to take money away from poor, disabled people.

Let’s all post it and see if they indict all of us.

It's a lot.

I just had to design a working set of log tongs that would be suitable to have murdered someone. For one line. This is my job.

I had always been a fan of the Correspondents' Dinner because of great performances by comics like Colbert, but after this, and hearing stories of the behind the scenes, I'm okay if they don't do it any more. Unless Tina Fey and Amy Pohler do it.

Did everyone save their ear Kotex from last time they did this?

The reason humility is desirable in a leader,is it allows one to recognize when one doesn't know something and therefore ask people who do. Iran doesn't get to this point if someone says,"You know, they can hit gulf resources with cheap drones and cut off power and fresh water for four countries."

"We've built a rapid response network to stop ICE detention centers before they start. Receive immediate alerts if a facility is planned for your community and help lead the local fight to stop it..." gtfoice.org

There are ads on normal TV for injectable drugs and they show the needle. That kind of snuck up on me.

This is a dystopian horror story on the side of a bus (in big, bright, colors!).

I fucking hate him.

BREAKING: A GOP-appointed Virginia judge has struck down the Democratic-backed redistricting amendment in full, ruling it unconstitutional and “void from the start.” AG Jay Jones says he will immediately file an appeal.

What is wrong with A.I. is the same thing that's wrong with a GOP government -- they are both run for the profit of corporations, not the improvement of anyone's lives.

AOC represents EVERY WOMAN in America right now who is sick and tired of misogyny & misinformation. She represents us and the rage we feel.

SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! FANCY MOTHERFUDGING SQUIRREL OF THE MOTHERFUDGING DAY!

"You did WHAT to a raccoon?!"