My barber for 22 years: Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same. They're drinking and laughing together. They just pretend they don't like each other on TV. Me: Time to get a new barber. 😡

I love how the things that you DIDN'T ACTUALLY INVESTIGATE are considered "lies and falsehoods". That's totally believable. 😡

As if January wasn't already brutal, it's one of those months with 31 days!!! 31!!!! Aaaaaaggghhh! 😭

January 2026 basically…

I'm tired of "Stranger Things" fans begging for another episode. Bish please! Do you know how long I've been holding out hope for more "Firefly"!?!? Keep waiting... 😂

I wouldn't watch "Melania" even if she were a new cast member on a new Season of "Firefly"... 😲

I know I posted this before, but I seriously can't figure out why ICE would be at the Olympics in Italy!?!? What function do they think they will perform? It's absolute madness!!! 😲

Fuck Rick Rolling!!! Imma trick my friends into watching 15 seconds of "MELANIA"! 😲

I'm teaching a computer course to High School students. I should ask them, "Why did I need a paperclip when I used a computer at their age?" 😂

I don't know what's so difficult to understand!!! 😡 I'm basically eating a 4-course breakfast over the course of 5 hours! (* geesh! *) 🙄

WTF does "Immigration & Customs Enforcement" have to do with security in Europe?? Lawmakers urged the EU to block US ICE from entering the continent following reports that ICE will be involved in security operations during the Milan–Cortina Winter Olympics. #Pinks www.euronews.com/my-europe/20...

In the 7th grade, I bought my first three 5.25 floppy disks. At Christmas, there was a sale on a ten pack, and I told my parents that if they bought me that, I'd never need any more storage in my life! 🙄

Dead kids didn’t matter. Endless school shootings didn’t matter. But a single liberal with a firearm? That broke the GOP.

Of course, I leave my shirt untucked! That way, any cookie crumbs that fall inside my shirt can easily fall back out the bottom! It's just the classy thing to do, really... 🙄

I'm sorry... why the fuck is ICE trying to go to the Olympics!?!? My brain is too functional to be able to comprehend this!?!? 😭 😭 😭

You are not fully developed at 25. You are fully developed when the lyrics to “Drive” by The Cars make sense to you.

I'm at that age where body parts just randomly hurt. Seriously, I did nothing to you! What's your problem!?!? 😲

On a positive note, sex with me is better than watching the "MELANIA" movie... Just sayin'... 🙄

Today is the first day of school! I'm going to be a High School teacher, for the first time in my life! Wish me luck! 💕

Me just realizing that I've had Spotify accidentally replaying the same song for the last hour... 😂 Oops.

Friends: We're all gonna have to move to Canada. Me: I wonder if there are any cute gay guys in Canada? (* Secretly hoping that I get flooded with sexy DM's *) 😂

There's nothing more masculine than the alternating sound of profanity and power-tools emanating from the garage... 🙄

CBP chief Bovino has confirmed that the officers who executed Alex Pretti in the street yesterday are not only *not on administrative leave,* they have all been reassigned to other jurisdictions and are all on the street today. This is totally unheard of for any officer-involved shooting

Interviewer: What was it like to audition for "The Human Centipede"...? 🤔

For those who can afford one...

Protests happen, but most of what is happening in Minneapolis isn’t protesting. More accurate terms: - observers - witnesses - volunteers - neighbors - residents - people

Kristi Noem continues to shamelessly lie: "That aggressive interaction, laying hands on law enforcement officers, clearly is a crime and it is something that should not be acceptable"

Our country was founded on resistance to a tyrant.

BBC : hold my tea

There are activist art projections happening in L.A. where words and images are cast onto building façades to make political points, for example, projects like “Am I Next?” as part of public art protests against government policy.👇

“Please get the truth out about our son.” Alex Pretti, a VA ICU nurse, was killed by ICE while trying to protect a woman being assaulted. Trump calls him a “monster” and “domestic terrorist.” Trust your own eyes. Unlike Trump, the video doesn’t lie.

We asked my brother in law, who did two tours of duty in the Middle East with the Army, if he had seen yesterday’s video and he said “If I had done that in Afghanistan it would have literally and legally been a war crime.”

Wait!!! My posts just get mixed in with everyone else's posts!?!? But... but... 😭

As far as I can tell, the second men get to their hotel room... (* checks notes *) they take naked pictures of themselves... 🙄

The media should cover sport the way they cover the state murder of civilians: ‘Jannik Sinner appeared to win the French Open yesterday after what supporters say was a comeback from being two sets down.’

I swear to god some of these corporate news outlets would open a window right now and say “We can’t confirm it, but it appears that the ground is allegedly being snowed upon.”

Release the Epstein files or admit he's a rapist and a pedophile.

Your reminder that Trump is explicitly named as having participated in raping someone in the Epstein files.

I used to play "Words with Friends" against the widow who lived across the street. I swear, she spent her entire day thinking of new ways to reduce me to tears!!! 😂

2026 was already a horrible year, and that was BEFORE Patch Tuesday... 😭

There's no reason for any of this to be happening. No reason at all

Months into this, not one person in ICE or CBP or DHS or the White House has suffered a single visible consequence. Not fired, asked to resign, impeached, reprimanded, not even suspended, let alone arrested. Things will continue to deteriorate until that changes. That's it, that's the whole story.

ICE isn't law enforcement without training; ICE is white nationalism with guns.

Why are they sending witnesses to Whipple? WHY ARE THEY SENDING WITNESSES TO WHIPPLE?

Unclench your jaw. Relax your brow. Go get a drink of water. See if you've taken your meds Eat something. Doesn't matter what you look like right now, i think you look amazing. Because you do. You're a wonderful person. And have this. 🫂🖤 you did great today. You made it through

Transphobia is a cancer of the heart and mind. It is a useless fear, based on ignorance and cruelty. Trans people are not responsible for a single one of the problems we face. Do the world a favor and grow the fuck up.

Six days into 2026, I declared it the worst year of my life. News since then has confirmed my proclamation. I don't expect any of this to get better, anytime soon... 😭

Sister: I think you're going to hell for being gay. Me: How much time do you spend thinking about what I do with my penis? That's kinda weird, if I'm being honest. 🙄

LinkedIn: You appeared in 11 search results. Me: OH HELL, NO!!! 😱