CHOTINER: ME: CHOTINER: ME: CHOTINER: ME: CHOTINER: So you don’t really do— ME: I’ve never really done much of anything, no

Found a Civil War bullet that says “states’ rights” on it. So that’s settled now.

NPR: "You know, we tried to use our platform to advance science for 50 years, maybe it's time we tried the opposite"

Umm, he didn't touch the plate...

This may have been the most insane and incoherent four days of his presidency. Tylenol, the U.N., I hate my opponents, other countries are going to hell, this escalator's broken, I'm mad at a TV comedian, I like Ukraine now. It really feels as if some minimal tether to reality has snapped.

An endless conveyor belt of humiliations

We've all written some version of this column by now but this one is among the very best.

Normies, both in the US and abroad, really do not understand how broken American journalism is. America doesn't know to be embarrassed, because 2/3rds of the country never hear about the daily barrage of embarrassing things he does.

"To create the batteries we need to keep the whole world's lights on when the sun goes down and the wind stops blowing, we will need to extract *one seventeenth* of the amount of minerals we burn *every year* in the fossil fuel system" pluralistic.net/2025/09/23/o...

Honestly, fuck Oprah for introducing this quack to the world.

Lmao, they’ve been trying this shit for 20 years

Having millions of people who categorically do not understand the concept of "it's a bit" suddenly exposed to GWAR is pretty magical

This ought to be engraved somewhere.

doomers: there’s not going to be elections in America ever again me: if they can’t even cancel an entertainer due to popular pushback what the fuck makes you think they can cancel elections

It seems this is even dumber than I thought. The active ingredient in Tylenol is acetaminophen. Other drugs that have acetaminophen: NyQuil®/DayQuil® Excedrin® Alka-Seltzer Plus® Mucinex® Robitussin® and some others that I didn’t recognize so did not list. But sure guys. Point only at Tylenol. 🙄

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth* A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel” Person watching on tv: well if they say so

Their advertisers are going to be pissed.

SCOOP — Part of the reason Disney/ABC may have rushed to sort things out with Kimmel is because tomorrow they have a planned price increase for Disney+ streaming, a Disney source tells me. With subscriptions hemorrhaging since last week, they couldn’t risk losing more users with this announcement.

The homeopathic cure for autism already exists

Unless Dana Walden and Bob Iger both appear on Kimmel to eat a bowl of shit in front of a live audience, they've fixed nothing as far as I'm concerned.

Little known fact: Every time Karoline Leavitt lies on television, her nose shrinks by a couple micrometers.

I told the Reverend he made me proud to be a Christian.

The party of “law and order.”

I’m sorry but I have to share this

Someone was trying to take a portrait of their two fave Chickens, and this happened.

not sure about the accuracy of this particular data, but not surprised readers abandon outlets that insist on framing events around the delusional arguments of corrupt, unserious figures, people transparently building out their own realities for gain & protection from their own internalized taboos.

“52% of all autocratization episodes become U-Turns, which increases to 73% when focusing on the last 30 years. The vast majority of U-Turns (90%) lead to restored or even improved levels of democracy” V-Dem data

so the president just tweeted out an offense worse than watergate, we all realize that right?

9-0 SCOTUS ruling from last year: “Government officials cannot attempt to coerce private parties in order to punish or suppress views that the government disfavors.”

tl;dr - Eisner calls Iger a cowardly bitch in CEO-speak

I felt pretty darn good about this press release on Iger and Disney. indivisible.org/statements/i...

Dutch late night TV has its take

Holy shit scorched earth motherfucker

Absolutely perfect.

What the fuck is going on? Are all the microplastics and forever chemicals rotting holes in our brains? Just endless psychosis-inducing levels of rewarding incompetence every day.

Every pundit who took at face value the idea that the Right sincerely cares about free speech, or ideological diversity, or in fact has any principles at all, should be wearing a dunce cap and writing a lengthy mea culpa right now. Not for our catharsis but for public awareness at least

There is functionally very little difference between: "I give up. Please overtake everything." and "We've already lost. They've taken over." No they haven't. No we haven't. Stop giving them ground.

👀

People who keep telling me that empathy is weakness sure seem concerned about what feelings I’m having right now.

From April: The FCC has been converted from a media and telecom watchdog into a bizarre, rights-trampling grievance machine built for one purpose: to coddle and protect the ego of President Donald J. Trump. Read more from @karlbode.com: www.theverge.com/tech/656653/...

We cannot make the headlines blunter people www.theverge.com/policy/77979...

in light of the kimmel news, just a reminder that a few days ago a prominent fox news host literally called for killing homeless people. right afterward, someone shot up a couple homeless encampments. that fox news host still has his job.

I was told comedy is legal again

Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score After Richard Kelly’s success with Donnie Darko, he was given the opportunity to do pretty much whatever he wanted. He made this. The cast is crazy. The plot is crazier. He doesn’t make movies anymore.

Here’s a brief story, with receipts about Trump administration corruption and crypto industry collusion that WILL be investigated once the majority of the House is filled with people who take ethics and the Constitution seriously:

"Sit down Mavs, no one is gonna make me the second worst owner in Dallas. I'm Jerry FUCKING Jones."