Instead of watching Eurovision, people should take a leaf out of my book and spend ages making their own donner kebabs and assorted sauces from scratch. If everyone did this, the world would be a better place, but I imagine hospitality would take a hit.

Imagine thinking that this is worth shouting about. How embarrassing.

going through old photos, found this from a spanish event where i was flown in to do a meet & greet with 12 tech journalists. our pr had the idea to hire a "hacker" to walk around during the meal, but someone didn't realise the spanish for hacker and pirate can both use "pirata" so we got this guy

👇 By @darrencullen.bsky.social

LOL, and also LMAO “Spiritual attacks” 🤡

This is beyond creepy holy shit

For those who struggle to use Alt text, especially those ‘big’ accounts that are trying to preach and reach, here is a helpful guide. m.youtube.com/watch?v=RE-i...

This is so sad, Rest In Power, king 👑

This might be the best watch of Kuenssberg since Joe Lycett was a guest. Put it in your diaries - Sunday 19th October

BREAKING: Shabana Mahmood announces that immigrants will have to correctly rewire a 1363 plug before being allowed entry to the UK

Design by committee, ouch 😣

fuck off with this shit you racist cunts. i forgot the word "tumbledryer" the other day so i called it a tumbley bumbley and english is my only fucking language. abolish the home office.

I need to up my savings I guess! Also, isn’t the yearly ISA limit 20k? 🤪

This is good to see but we knew this was happening at the time!

0118999 88199 9119 725 …3

Ah there he is

Lord of the Rings is boring to read and deal with, bloated as fuck and mostly just Warhammer for public school kids and weepy tories

Absolutely fuck off microsoft

It’s 2050 and a teen girl is torrenting a .tar.gz file of all the consciousnesses of all the tech bros who uploaded themselves into the cloud in a bid for immortality and modding them into The Sims 4

Every time someone makes me read something Peter Thiel said it’s like “Scrooge McDuck is Jesus Christ and Huey, Dewey, and Louie are Gabriel, Raphael, and Uriel and Daisy is Mary Magdalene and that’s why women voting has lowered American sperm count.”

Sigh.

It’s an arms race. Courtesy of @darrencullen.bsky.social

@ottoenglish.bsky.social One year ago today, happy anniversary x

Happy Anniversary x

Dawn summed him up

Just had a prawn cocktail for lunch like I'm at a 1980's dinner party

Listen to Burnz, 100% correct take here.

Fuck Greggg Wallace and his uwu I'm autistic that's why I'm a pervert bullshit.

Labour party supporters suck the gussets of their worn underwear.

It’s ridiculous that Kwasi Kwarteng gets wheeled out as a talking head and every single question isn’t “tell us about the secret meetings you had as Chancellor the day before your budget announcement that warned your friends to short the market”

Matthew 18:19 "I think I spent the dog-food money, But he'll love me just the same, And if you really love me baby, Help me scrape the mucus off my brain"

If you have any Labour MP don't vote for them, because even the ones on this list are dedicating their lives to supporting a racist, transphobic, ableist, poor-hating authoritarian genocide machine. The Party needs to be destroyed because it's irredeemable.

Fuck Starmer 👇

I really hope my neighbour's wood chipper runs all day having started before 9am, the absolute pricks.

Apparently it was "Hahaha d i e salty bitch!" Jeez.

today's a great day to make sure "require alt text before posting" is enabled in your settings and to continue to make bluesky more accessible and inclusive bsky.app/settings/acc...

This is Macy. She is auditioning for the role of Water Bud, which is the sequel to Air Bud but they master a new element. 14/10 (TT: macyalbright & tylerstryit)

He is the Jizzatz Haderach!

I wonder what pissbaby reason they've banned me for this time....? stay tuned

It's embarrassing how cheap they are.

Banned! For 24 hours (again) 🤡

I've been stroking the cat for so long i've built up a ball of fur at the top of his tail :)

I highly recommend NOT LOOKING at Rightmove once you've had an offer accepted on a house and also had the survey done 😭

Op: Capitalism garuntees food🤪 Reality:

Look me in the damn eye and tell me this isn't better

Big spider in my car won’t let me rescue it 🙃

I've got no blocklist or moderation words now, I'd forgotten how awful this place is vanilla 🫠