the only way i know how to live is to be enthusiastic & fucking weird

you can always tell when some dumb question is being asked in order to start a conversation vs when it is being asked in order to generate Engagement

unrelatedly, it's raining and i have the windows open (because it isn't windy) and this is the height of luxury

someone needs to come to my house and make me do this very important and time-sensitive task

oh i know i did not just hear a mosquito buzzing near my ear inside of my house!!!

i went out and stood on the back porch during a rainstorm to look at it and nod approvingly

do you ever get so tired that you want to sit down on the kitchen floor in the middle of making dinner but you can't because you would fall asleep right there and fail to finish making the aforementioned dinner

her eyes were the deep green of a national heritage site ruined by a mad wannabe dictator

i am being shown a lot of tartan army content and there's huge crowds of them swarming through boston drinking all the beer and teaching the mayor their chants and it's nice but i have to wonder: is scotland just empty right now?

Black Mirror: what if your phone... was scary Viewer: it is scary Black Mirror: more scary Viewer: oh shit

i'm keeping the streak alive today i see

not for me. id just ignore it due to my profound mental strength

bet you thought i didn't get round to writing it this month. wrong as hell. it's just super late! read on for celebrity impersonators, a guy who charges to teach you how to have fun, and gay kitchen bathtubs. plus: losing friends to career ambition kerminator.beehiiv.com/p/78-no-sir-...

they should make a life that you can live that’s not stressful

Ok quick opinion poll: Does anyone know anything about anything or have you ever been anywhere or done anything or had any thoughts about anything

the other thing it means is feeling pretty great about finishing your routine with a spin jump into a knee drop and being totally fine, nothing but a couple little bruises the next day, UNTIL about 15 mins ago when i was settling onto the couch and my knees abruptly remembered they are 44 years old

getting old means going to the air guitar competition and talking with all your old air guitar buddies about colonoscopies and the swear words our kids have learned to say

castle dracula soil is the perfect soil for growing your own draculas. dracula mulch is made from 100% ground up draculas and will enhance your soil. enriched with essential dracula nutrients this is a guaranteed premium product with added benefits.

i spent a pleasant evening in the company of friends and came home to a house with an unutterably wretched temperature and now i will once again not sleep tonight and i am so exhausted

how is every post on here from a day ago. what did everyone get together yesterday and decide to post a lot when i wasn't looking?

like every other writer and interesting person you follow on here, this screenshot pisses me off, but somehow the worst part to me is "industry standard." books aren't the same as plumbing parts, they don't all have to be constructed the same way in order to function! let me use my imagination!!

alright FINE i have put my shirt on but ONLY because my mother-in-law is coming over soon

i see i'm doing a lot of weatherposting today

I WAS RIGHT TO BE NERVOUS IT SUUUUUCKS

it is so hot and swampy today - despite today being the "cool" day this week - that i will be camera off in all meetings due to reasons of attire

/ TEMPS IN2 THE LO 90S / W/ DEW PTS IN2 THE LO 70S / DEW PTS IN THE LO 70S? / LETS CONSULT THE DEW PT DANKNESS SCALE / O MEYE THAT IS OPPRESSIVE

i need to give away more of my stuff to friends so they can see it or wear it or use it and think of me

today i am wearing a tank top from a friend's business and a pair of leggings that another friend's mom gave me (sight unseen and they still fit amazing, her powers!!!) and thinking about how many people i miss and who had major impacts on my life

should i dress up as the demon core for halloween

Sorry, I didn't actually mean you, I as using the "royal you", which is me

ok dewp troop how are we feeling about the dewpoint situation today, we've been doing so well up to now but i'm getting nervous

average bluesky user

people who support nazi tattoo guy and follow me on blue sky need to stop doing one of those things

you can do it! or maybe you can't do it! nothing matters! yay!

ok so my newsletter is on beehiiv and i've been fairly happy with it ever since moving there from substack but i just got a marketing email from them touting their ability to connect with your ai tool of choice and like... am i going to have to migrate the newsletter again??

Always mortifying when you try to share a thing you like with someone who has a special interest in it and you learn your taste is dogshit

if you're wondering how gay my neighborhood is, today was the big pride parade (elsewhere in town) and the streets in my neighborhood were DESERTED. so i assume everyone who wasn't at my kid's school carnival was at pride

the secret to good posting is none of my business

i do though. look out

it is 89 big degrees fahrenheit out here and i am sitting out in it more or less pleasantly and remembering that during the few summery days we get here before the humidity comes in it's actually kind of nice

hmm am i youth-coded or do i just go on the internet a lot ( amiunc.com )

This disturbs my spirit greatly

your last saved post is your moral philosophy

every messaging tool with a voice note/voice-to-text capability that puts the button for that in a spot where you can hit it by accident? you're my enemy

If you don't help them who will??? Please share this very important message.🙏

twice in a row on this same commute home i've sat down in a seat on public transit and it was still butt-warm from the previous occupant. grisly

can you imagine i worried people would think i was straight

i just hit myself in the finger with a knife while cutting something, looked at the finger to see if it was going to bleed, and said out loud "come on. that's stupid" and so it didn't bleed

it is an incredibly inconvenient time to suddenly start feeling like i have to write something immediately or i will catch fire and die