who cares if your protagonist is "likable"? how big is it

is it really a redemption arc if your antagonist doesn't go from wanting to murder the protagonists to chanting "mcdonald's! mcdonald's! mcdonald's!" from the back seat?

if someone tells you to stop writing, you should immediately write 2,000 words in defiance! also, stop writing

have you considered the possibility that your character might be an idiot

writing is hard. so just like. don't do it

you put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and do some fucking writing

set up a recording device with automatic transcript every night to see if you can sleep-talk a WIP into existence

put a toddler in every scene for the purpose of asking "but why" whenever you need to organically bring up world building details

scream for 8 hours

cloud backups will disappear if the server is hacked. printed backups will burn in a fire. if you want your novel to be truly safe, you gotta carve it word by word into a cave wall

you SHOULD spend four hours working out which word is making that one sentence read funny. replacing that word is WAY more important than finishing the novel, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

how "good" your book is doesn't matter. the only thing that matters is whether or not i (personally) (me) (specifically me and only me) like it

the only thing that matters is how easily your novel could be adapted into a musical

instead of writing, have you considered posting about writing 3500 times

much like a broken clock is right twice a day, only two of the words you just wrote are in the right places

never name a character Bad Evil Guy Who Is Defeated By The End because that's just. fucking stupid. why would you do that

read* *my books

splunk. hehe. that's a funny noise. anyway what was i doing. oh yeah plotting the chapter where that big and complicated thing happens

instead of writing a little bit every day, write a lot never !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't use worldbuilding as a replacement for plot and character development. instead use it as a replacement for interacting with other people and forming healthy relationships

base all of your characters on people you know in real life and thank them all in a credits-style acknowledgement when the book gets published

write what makes YOU happy, not what makes random people on the internet happy

i don't have time to work on my novel right now because i'm too busy wedding planning. so if you have time to write, do it. if not for yourself, then for me

give your characters terrible names. that way, if anyone criticises your writing, you can just assume they were too distracted by the protagonist being called mxckyynglygh to appreciate it

readers are forgetful, so open every chapter with a 'previously on' paragraph that details everything that just happened in the preceding one

you know what really spices up a writing group? bringing up your political views unprompted

the best way to structure a sentence is to write all the nouns first then build a wall of adjectives and verbs around them

actually i can simply summon the Vibes™ who needs writing i dont need writing *sobbing on my keyboard*

punching your keyboard repeatedly has more artistic merit than "writing" a story using chatgpt

pretty fucked up that some people don't write. what do they even do all day

if work keeps getting in the way of your writing, just sit around and cry about it

it doesn't matter if your story has a happy ending or a sad ending. all readers care about is which of your characters got the highest number of points at the end (they get a point every time they suffer)

i hate being gay. i told my fiancée i would buy her a treat this payday and she chose a £159 4k HD bluray player so she can make me watch the theatrical cut of amadeus (1984)

ask yourself: what IS writing? is writing watching a sunset? sitting and drinking with your friends in the sun? rolling up your trousers and stepping into the sea? no, it's not. its writing

there are actually only five ideas left, and i've called dibs on four of them

don't know how to end your novel? instead of a final chapter,🚶‍♀️♥️😊🎉🙄😭

my name is Your Character and it's time for me to Cause Problems On Purpose

stop writing. it's time to make your protagonist on the sims 4 and do a hundred baby challenge

ok so. you uh. you have an idea. for like some things to happen or whatever. but not real things? unless it is, but that's a different thing. then uhhhhh. just fuckin. bust it out i guess

keep your readers on edge with edging. this is a joke about edging (sexual practice)

can't believe i have to work today when truly i was put on this earth to write my silly little stories

you (crank that soulja boy) are the author of your work, and you (crank that soulja boy) can put in as many references to the song 'crank that (soulja boy)' by soulja boy as you (crank that soulja boy) want

the most important part of writing a book is figuring out which lil symbol you're going to use for page breaks

if you don't want some weirdo on the internet to accuse you of using AI, just STOP using em dashes, semicolons, ellipses, commas, long words, letters,

don't use a common word for the title of your novel because if you do, sometimes you'll see a random ass headline about kristi noem's face and end up thinking about The Characters

a full stop is when the sentence has to come to a complete stop and a comma is when it can keep going but would need to give way to other vehicles. i don't know what the fuck a semicolon is

stories can be found anywhere. maybe even in the 348 grocery lists you have saved in your notes app

delete chapter one. delete chapter two. delete chapter three. delete chapter four. delete chapter five. delete chapter six. delete chapter seven. delete chapter eight. delete chapter nine. delete chapter ten. delete chapter eleven. chapter twelve is your first chapter now