oh shit it's november am i meant to be doing something

skill issue

get married. that way they can't say no to beta reading

no tip tomorrow because i will be marrying the love of my life

you can do whatever you want forever so write about that

if your first line doesn't make readers spontaneously combust it's time to start over

don't over-explain things. don't under-explain things. explain things the exact right amount, which varies significantly from reader to reader

always carry a notebook and pen. ALWAYS. note: it helps if the pen has ink but it isn't necessary

STOP WRITING THAT SENTENCE! didn't you already use that exact phrase ten pages ago? yeah. thought so. saved your ass

TAKE TO THE SEA

readers want to feel special, so put a little slip of paper between the first pages of every copy of your novel telling them what the twist is, and that they're the only one you told

when was the last time your protagonist got to have a nice, long, uninterrupted bubble bath?

did you know that you can combine emoji with your phone keyboard??? imagine what this can do for your writing

sure wish i was doing it (writing)

don't forget to feed the plot chickens

if you're not sure what your protagonist should do next, complicated riddles will always keep them preoccupied

name all of your characters Bad Evil Guy Who Is Defeated By The End to create tension for the reader. which one will it be?

outlining a novel is easy! just place it on an A4 sheet, grab a pen, and trace then pen around the edge

behind every writer is me, watching them not doing any writing

scream into the abyss. the abyss might have some helpful writing advice it can scream back at you

if you're writing from multiple perspectives, you need to ensure your characters are instantly recognisable to readers. so write about your readers' immediate families

if you're unsure how to deal with the tension in a scene, just have a random character walk in and decimate the mood for an arbitrary reason

worried your writing is bad? just write in a smaller font so you don't have to read it

all you need to do is get something down on the page. words, preferably

you can't leave your chapters untitled, you gotta at least stick an emoji on there so readers know how to feel

switch up your dialogue tags every so often! for example, nothing makes readers lose their minds like putting the comma on the wrong side of the speech mark

be silly with it

writing is easy, see i'm doing it right now

the secret to getting an agent is to write something that's good

just sort it out

just write it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't trust random writing tips you read on the internet. there's some real weirdos on there

death

the secret is you want your protagonist to be a lil pathetic

the best ideas will always come to you when you can't actually write them. so you're not allowed to write. i'm banning you

write stories that make unimaginative people say 'oh my god!!! whoever wrote this must have been on drugs!!!!!!'

commas are a sin

yell about your story to your friends until you scare them all away

who cares if your protagonist is "likable"? how big is it

is it really a redemption arc if your antagonist doesn't go from wanting to murder the protagonists to chanting "mcdonald's! mcdonald's! mcdonald's!" from the back seat?

if someone tells you to stop writing, you should immediately write 2,000 words in defiance! also, stop writing

have you considered the possibility that your character might be an idiot

writing is hard. so just like. don't do it

you put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and do some fucking writing

set up a recording device with automatic transcript every night to see if you can sleep-talk a WIP into existence

put a toddler in every scene for the purpose of asking "but why" whenever you need to organically bring up world building details

scream for 8 hours

cloud backups will disappear if the server is hacked. printed backups will burn in a fire. if you want your novel to be truly safe, you gotta carve it word by word into a cave wall