Alien: And how did you run out of water? Earthling: Machines drank it. Alien: Machines. Earthling: We had to feed machines the water. Aliens: So the machines were holding your planet hostage for water. Earthling: No, we made the thirsty machines. They worked for us. Alien: End communication.

Oh my god, lmao

Ok dishes time

There are two Titan T-51s for sale rn and I'm starting to get Really Cool Ideas.

Gather ing evidence for @specter177.bsky.social's theory that RJ pilots have become aware of ACARS Drama and are sky posting at us directly

Spotted a take out there about "people dive wrecks all the time so why is the Arizona special" 1) The Navy is really weird about what it does and does not own when its at the bottom of the sea; the default is Everything, Fuck Off

Too beautiful of a day to not put the dirty clothes on and do yard work so thats where I'll be

🍔

Carmen got another compliment today

Here's a joke for ya: Three Nazis walk into a BAR.

Noooo this is brilliant.

Get you a girl who looks at you like Iam Hungry looks at Ronald McDonald's shorts

Alright lets see if we can get Carmen to pass a Maryland inspection

It is Jens’ turn for a Finger Treatie! He will have All Of This One!

FBI, CIA, NSA, GRU, MIB, and for some reason the Post Office

Who else but Deborah??

Yknow there should be a big organization, like, nationwide, for the purpose of educating the public on proper gun use, safe care and handling, and licensing. They can even hold fun events. *listens to earpiece* they did what now

Love this for them #subnautica #videogames #gaming

I enjoy drawing kinks I'm not necessarily into for the same reason I like drawing bodies that look different than mine and enjoy reading stories nothing like mine. It's edifying to engage with others people's reality with enthusiastic curiosity.

You ever stop to think about for 3 and a half months Eddie Murphy's job was to scream at a guinea pig

The Simpsons' Quebecois dub was almost cancelled, with the show almost switching over to being dubbed via France, but that has since changed thanks to fan support. Vive le Simpson! Vive le Jay Sherman! Vive le Québec!

Got off work early so I took the opportunity to sim a flight to Norfolk. It was nice, good way to burn an hour. So what'd I mi

Welcome to the University of Alaska Fairbanks, we're a land grant university established to learn how to make mines better. We're the only college that owns a missile range and then we also bought HAARP. If you work here you can take a free class each semester. Not that one.

I feel I should alert Bluesky to the baby foxes in our yard

Bill Hicks had a routine about this

I like to think that James named the team after his son and not the other way around. #art #StarFox

"40 with a hobby lol cringe" (zoning out to restoration channels) (Meanwhile, 40 yr olds watching the same channel) "Maybe when I retire I can afford that lathe"

she’ll bite you and won’t apologize

Subnautica 2 is here 🤯

"Hey Sarge, check out these new glasses I'm wearing, they instantly publish criminal history to AI when I look at y- whoa, um, I think they crashed"

What also sucks is conservatives like the kind of stuff I do with drones so they push to get all the work done in their states. I'm in the same boat as the NASA transes where not only do I have to consider the local politics but also what work is available if the current position falls through

I will be envisioning the alternate universe where the Vulcans sound like Bostonians all day now “Live long an’ fahkin’ prospah, kid”

NEW: Seattle might declare a civil emergency to help LGBTQ (mostly trans) people fleeing red states, so I looked for a Texas angle. An organizer told me that Texas is #1 among trans people looking to relocate: "The baseline hostility to their existence is unbearable." www.chron.com/culture/arti...

Gwen did a fantastic job reporting on what has genuinely become an internal refugee crisis among trans people. I know I complain about Sound Transit and bike infrastructure or whatever a lot but like, making my move to Seattle when I did saved my life.

I'm retranslating all of Homer's Odyssey into AAVE because I love using my Classics degree in fun ways. 🥰 towerofbasil.wordpress.com/afrodyssey-h...

At long last, it is time for LEGO Denethor

Y'all misunderstand. The lesson of "Toys" isn't Don't Let The Military Into Your Playground The lesson is People Who Work At Toy Companies Are Too Capable Of Making Irredeemable Slaughter Machines To Be In The Military

China has quite a few opportunities to do something so funny

Not really the point, but we can also at least enjoy the terror Stephen Miller must have felt at seeing this and contemplating 28 million Venezuelans becoming US citizens.

every time i see "vagina bones" my brain immediately plays the tune to raffi's "banana phone" and swaps out the phrases so now i'll be stuck with "ring ring ring ring vagina bones" in my head for the next few hours

My tumblr dash REALLY wants to fuck the turrets from portal today, ig

Immediately after the Charlie Kirk assassination, there was a TikTok roofer who made a video fixing a rotted out skylight while simultaneously putting on blast (in the voiceover) the hypocrisy of the moment. I often wonder just how many people he reached by taking that approach.

Also a classic: "Hast du keine Hobbys, oder was?" [Don't you have any hobbys, or what?]