Fuck yea, I love reading the news.

How about 'the markets' take a deep fucking breath and decide to wait 24 hours before reacting *in any way* to whatever latest babbling nonsense Trump has said.... Just, you know, to see if maybe it was yet more fucking bullshit? Hmm? Maybe an idea?

If only companies were as enthusiastic about *improving* our experience with them, as they are about *asking for endless sodding feedback* on our experience with them.

A deal is coming any day now (click to expand)

It’s all kicking off in Richmond.

Excuse me it is 2026 the word is "women"

This really should be up there with the Lady Chatterley's Lover prosecution statement of: "Is this a book that you would even wish your wife or servants to read?"

There needs to be a name for that person who had been hired by someone senior to sort of just always be around them and help them with everything but never seems to have a proper job role and you just know is paid about 8 times what you are. Like their professional 'pal'.

If, as a columnist, your intention for *any* of your articles is 'I don't believe a word of this bilge myself, but it'll certainly kick up sone controversy and get a reaction and clicks!' Then you are simply a shitty writer & a shitty person. Try writing about things you *do* believe or that inform.

Never mistake Barry Took for Barry Cryer - Useful advice from a man who just mistook Barry Took for Barry Cryer

Horror film endings: 1. The monster/killer is finally killed. Oh wait no he's somehow still alive 2. It's all going to loop again 3. The monster/killer is finally killed. Oh wait, now someone else is going to be the new monster/killer 4. The hero(es) were dead all along

Great place to drop my Lucas cartoon.

BREAKING: we just won our Kennedy Center case! Both the renaming & the closure of the Kennedy Center are enjoined Kudos to our wonderful client @repbeatty.bsky.social & my colleagues @democracydefendersaction.org & Washington Litigation Group This is a 1-2 punch against Trump's corruption

guys I just tried googling this to find the exact Andor quote and jesus fucking christ guys what the fuck is happening here

An autistic billionaire’s neurotype is not the reason he’s an absolute piece of shit, it has been revealed.

"But no matter how often Trump posts the same whiny bilge, no matter how often he claims he is making the best deal ever, and no matter how deeply he spirals into his own narcissistic orange skull, he can’t change the facts on the ground." — @nberlat.bsky.social

You can always tell when The Stranglers have been in to return their books.

OK I've just found this, absolutely brilliant (though more of a long-term project) londonist.com/london/museu...

Ok this is a truly great tweet

It would be just typical for aliens to genuinely finally arrive, but only now, when all media is so saturated in AI bullshit that nobody can tell if they actually have or not.

😂😂😂

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was getting us all to buy those interlocking foam flooring panels and then ensuring the companies that make them slightly change their sizes regularly so you can't simply buy new ones when you want to add to them or replace them.

AI fans: "AI knows everything! It's a world class expert on anything!" Me: "Okay AI, tell me actors who were in Aliens and Jonathan Creek." AI: "There were 2, Trevor Steedman & Mac McDonald." Me: "Uh, hullo! What about Stuart Milligan? He's Adam Klaus in Creek! He speaks the first lines in Aliens!"

Share a panel that always makes you laugh!

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world this chair is not satanic

I'm certain a satanic chair would describe itself as: (not satanic)

Elephant: "So when are we all going to address the French Horn in the room?"

Pick a Bond villain from the pictures you already have on your phone.

Happy Towel Day! Don't Panic! #TowelDay

I feel like the AI aspect is peripheral to the underlying "Woman judged more harshly and patronisingly for literally anything," Researchers find.

It is extremely clear that Reform capped out a year ago at 30% have fumbled their way back down to the low 20s because they cannot be normal and are eminently beatable by whichever of Labour or the Conservatives remembers that the average voter does not have a Klan hood first.

When you put what was left of your disastrous bitcoin investment into the, admittedly volatile, mini sponge market.

Every summer I repost this article on how to spot drowning. Please read it and pass on. In the last few years I’ve had SIX messages from people who saved a kid’s life after clicking on the link from my feed. slate.com/technology/2...

I'd REALLY appreciate it if anyone who sees this would try out my text generators so I can iron out any remaining bugs. Please, and thank you! trek.epicrandomness.com

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 874 times in a row, you're the stock market.

Aliens is simply a stone cold classic. Every 3 minutes it's another classic scene. Forgotten just how damn good it is.

Drop someone BALD 🧑‍🦲🖤👨‍🦲 Robert Carlyle/Tilda Swinton

When I used to write for The Guardian, every time I wrote the word “meow” the editors would change it to “miaow”. It used to really get on my wick. Don’t try to make my cats sound like your upper middle class London cats, you fuckers. My cats did not go to your posh cat schools. They say “meow”.

Proud to be the 1,868th Supporter 😎 on @BackerKit Crowdfunding for Lovecraft Investigations: The Call of Cthulhu! www.backerkit.com/c/projects/j...

In a nutshell:

Quote a fictional band that is not Spinal Tap: Smeg and the Heads

Has anyone considered the possibility that 'The Markets' are fucking idiots?

The most divisive groups always have names like The Happy Jolly United Patriotic Decent Moral Social Togetherness Group