"cats are majestic beasts that have implicit divinity" i just woke up to pickles flipping the trash can in the kitchen and he got a porkchop bone out of it

Me about myself when I'm in a room alone not doing anything on a good day

Python was awarded a funding grant, funding grant asked Python foundation to remove all diversity and inclusion initiatives they have. Python foundation said no and rejected the grant. If you use Python, send a few dollars to the charity to keep it going. I’m pushing a dono on behalf of ScamGuard.

It’s called a chopped unc, T.

Fart is making a comeback — as a shit

If your friend says "just took a big shit" and then sends you a spoilered image would you click on it

Donald Hussein Trump

they dressed up the stray dog in varrock

sorry if my baby stares at you. they can see the thread of your life and where it ends and they don't have the words to express that yet.

The biggest, dumbest guy you know thinks you're lazy. Do some unpaid overtime to prove him wrong!

i just wanna get rfd done i finally got culinaromancer's portal but now it wants me to do desert treasures 1. just spent 90 min doing regicide for the qp if i just freakin read i coulda headed into there first

wow

Hey Gang, I Scooped CNN & Fox News ! I Have Received Artist Renderings Of The Finished White House Ball Room From An Inside Source, & Im Gonna Share Them With You Guys, But Lets Just Keep It A Secret Amongst Us 🤫 #madmagazine #alfredeneuman #whitehouse

I'm just the washed chopped unc with absolutely no star discovery bonus...

a whole shooting star all to myself

During my midday nap I had a dream my entire family had a $3.5 million dollar bounty on us

Samdwitches

single as a pringle doesn't even make sense.

life is just a series of options

SNAP benefits expire in one week.

Women will make fun of guys for using 3-in-1 shampoo or whatever and then see nothing wrong with going to an ear, nose and throat specialist

We're still dealing with the consequences of Andrew Cuomo's "experience."

Here's a fun idea! what's your favorite scary chara— HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT JESUS TODAY? HELL IS REAL AND JESUS PAID THE PRICE. YOU WILL BE ETERNAL TORTURED JUST LIKE MY SAVIOR JESUS IF YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM FOR EVEN A SECOND.

Had an apocalypse dream and I said the phrase "you can't be a vampire, werewolf, and zombie" and they were already a vampire/werewolf. They purposely got bitten and became just a zombie. It didn't work.

Crappy’s East Wataga, IL

i made steak calzones

there's a thundercloud the size of a large storm cloud above my house rn

the leaves are changing colors it's getting cold for many others but in my home there's a vacuous hole i miss you Riddlepig

defenestration of prague-themed blowjob

Going as this for Halloween

Applying the scrandle logic to scrandle to get a perfect score on scrandle

Endurance may outlast hope. —Ursula K. Le Guin, The Farthest Shore

Reasonable puppy

us @varlotto.bsky.social

Best sign I saw today

Pringle Theatre Glenmora, LA

lol

i never saw this reply lol when i reply guy too hard and something gets too many likes i mute it