Chicken Pot (Der)Pie

my fan art for the everything is fine music video! a blessing to be a part of! @jellybox.bsky.social @genegoldstein.bsky.social help me spread da word to all folks who helped out!!

Why is this not Gnomes at Gnight?! What a missed opportunity

(solemnly) You've had mail.

We made a remix of @qbombband.bsky.social 's song "Everything is Fine" and it is out 🔥NOW🔥 youtu.be/JxgqPk1RCCU?...

The color of the sky in Seattle is dodger blue #3eb1ff

Yesterday, there was a fly in the kitchen that was annoying me all day. Last night, I saw it sitting on something on the kitchen table so I approached it extremely slowly and flicked it with my finger. I must have knocked its head clean off because the rest of the body kinda just fell onto the table

💃

😮‍💨

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

Google Sheets feature request: a huh() function that you can wrap around any formula that will spit out a human readable explanation of what the function does and how it got the value it returned

I don't know if it was a direct reference to The Dress but in KPop Demon Hunters, the outfit change from Takedown to What It Sounds Like goes from blue & black to white & gold

I love to download a software update and spend the rest of the day researching how to undo all the bullshit they changed for no reason

The color of the sky in Seattle is spiro disco ball #31c0ff

The color of the sky in Seattle is glitter #d8e8ef

The real couch was the friends we made along the way

Sometimes im a spicy 🌶️ennifer, but also a duckface 🤳ennifer, and occasionally larp as a canadian 🏒ennifer www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8BAT584/ I spent three hours making this list and I have no regrets

MCA: when I rock the mic it's such a Beastie Boys: THRILL Ad-Rock: we hate J K Rowling and Beastie Boys: WISH HER ILL

I think I'm at the stage in my life where I will no longer be ironing any clothing ever again

Mundane use for time travel powers: drop your car off at the airport ten minutes before your flight lands

Has anyone gathered a series of hikes that resemble the route Sam and Frodo took from the Shire to Mount Doom?

back on my bullshit with 5 devices open in front of me trying to get them organized and synced

FOLKS

Ah beans, @colorofseattle.bsky.social started posting again. Forgot to disable some of the automation. It'll still be a bit before it's back up for good. I'll probably have to get a new webcam because the cheap indoor webcam I stuck outside for 3 years is starting to get trashed

It's time 👏 To pump 👏 You 👏 Up 👏 New drawings available in Emoji Kitchen!!!! Including the debut of bicep 💪💪💪💪💪 google.com/search?q=emojikitchen

I have to take @colorofseattle.bsky.social offline for a few weeks. Should be back before the end of the month

me: hell yeah all you weirdos out there. be weird and freak everyone out! my brain: not you tho me: oh no absolutely not me. I should not be perceived at all

I discovered a little quirk in some code I wrote that was distorting some images because I was using PNGs. It will result in a handful of stitches in a blanket that will be in the "wrong place". It is barely noticeable and no one would know except me so of course, I'm losing my mind about it.

A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again theonion.com/a-shatt...

I saw someone say AI is useful because it generates ideas. My dude, I'm full of ideas. I have docs and docs marked under 'ideas.' I have outlines and fragments of stuff I might work on. Trunked stories galore. Even if I continue to write a novel a year for the next 40 years I won't run out of ideas.

I mean this so honestly, but you absolutely should be making the most "Mediocre Shit" and be proud of that Low brow, high brow?! Whatever! Art can and should exist purely for the sake of creativity. real freedom and diversity within art is all about CREATING outside of perceived "artistic" value

Noticed the color spread had some really dark colors in it so I checked the webcam footage. I think a crow came by and sat in front of the camera for a minute

some days you feel like a cordyceps fungus piloting the withered hollow shell of your former self

Coprolite isn't my favorite fossil but it's a solid number two.

If our hall closet door is a little open, the mirror on the door gets reflected in the living room window. A silhouette of our coat tree will flash in the window as I walk by and scare the shit out of me. This happens like once a month.

today I have received the greatest gift I can imagine: a contractor that prefers to communicate via email

it's cartoonist day. yeah, that's so

just spending every conscious moment oscillating between "ugh it never ends" and "oh no some day it's all gonna end"

Forgive the earnest post here, but one year ago this week, Global Tetrahedron took over The Onion. We've since brought back the paper and ONN, dramatically increased revenue, and hired more writers and artists. But most importantly, as other places debased themselves, we refused to bend the knee.

Training for a run: Excellent work today, best one in a while. Now simply run an additional 3 miles in the same amount of time.

It's always wild to me that we had regulations for how much poop is allowed in our food when really the amount is zero

Imagine you are with someone you love dearly and you spend the entire time trying to determine whether they are moments away from death. This is what swimming with your kids is like.

dammit computer what do you want from me

my phone: [vibrates] me, for absolutely no reason at all: I must figure out what that notification was for without looking at the phone

cycle of guys

For some reason when I was a kid, I memorized that E was the 5th letter of the alphabet but none of the others

Did you know: any non-visible surface of the stove or oven is coated in a goo that even God himself detests

Spent half an hour deciphering and updating some code and then scrolled up slightly to see that I'd clearly commented everything I needed to make the update in thirty seconds