Dan Moynihan was a super nice guy, whip smart, and drew amazing comics. He passed away a few days ago. We are gonna miss him dearly and his family needs your help. www.gofundme.com/f/support-be...

Certified Old Man Moment™: my dad apparently didn't realize I was going home tonight and started pouting until I reminded him that I'll be back for his birthday, which is literally next week

$2100 studio apartments in DC:

me and the bestie passing the NPC Affirmatives back and forth like a blunt

Die Hard is a diamond of a film. I couldn't write something that tight in a million years. It also would not occur to me to shoot air ducts and cubicle farms with anamorphic lenses like some kind of crazed lens-flare wizard, but that's why I'm not Jan de Bont

I fell asleep laughing about this, please don't steal my mom silly census man

Dont think I remembered to post my latest Babysitting Cats™ photo, featuring Darlin' the Cat looking real fucking weird

Casually mentioned @anyaustin.bsky.social in a conversation with my mom about sleep aids and now she's "trying him out"

the "Avatar No Cultural Impact" is nuts to me bc A) yeah it did and B) what the fuck is that and C) since when does that matter for a good movie you fucking nerds But most importantly, it has become "the Avatar Hater Line" and distracts from the noble reason to hate the franchise (its DAMN ugly)

infant at the pharmacy sitting on the floor, spinning on his butt hiccuping and laughing. unmatchable aura. we'll never be him.

queso knocked over a santa with her big butt and is trying to play it cool

That first Nazgûl who lost Frodo right outside the Shire fucking choked

PINK EYE ON CHWISMAS DAY

Acute tonsillitis on chwismas eve :3

Tiny Tim, who did NOT hit her. He did not. Oh hi, ghost

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

friend's questions about the dress code for tomorrow's Christmas Gift Outing got a bit too pointed so i had to throw them off the scent

When people call him "cartoonishly evil" they're normally describing the video concepts, which is accurate, but it ALSO accurately describes the way we have to deal with him. He has the kind of soul that needs to be dragged to the bottom of the ocean by singing eels

Am I insane for thinking there's no way in hell a toilet lid could stop a determined rat or am I just overly conditioned to DC rats being the size and build of a fucking dog

Hey SLUTS 🫵 the Epstein files were just released 💥💥 and ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ BILL CLIT-TON ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️

Though I’d debate that Cameron’s movies in the 90s are quintessentially American despite Cameron being a Canadian, the Avatar movies are not. They are fundamentally White Guy In New Zealand cinema, which goes far to explain why they are like that.

Realizing that while my parents have TV time (the amazing race, every season, its their date night show) and I have TV time with each of them (anime with dad and house hunters with mom), we don't do it as a family. Genuinely short circuiting at what could have a chance of even working for us

I know that's right!!!!! 😤

It has been SEVEN years since the infamous Tumblr Porn Purge™ and heated rivalry hit that place like rain in a fucking drought

I need the new episode of the gay hockey show to drop because a sex scene from (what I assume was) the latest episode has been ranked in the tumblr trending page for, I shit you not, every single day since it aired

moms love to say "and this is NOT internet gossip ok this is something real" before talking about the most boomer ass looney tunes conspiracy

Gender is a scam but I've probably had the most foul thoughts of my life directed towards male baristas

seeing a lot of breathless defense of this as strategic bc "the average voter remembers Reagan fondly!!!1 🤬" but the thing is, and I'm being so serious here, does that describes anyone under the age of forty

You can't be a doormat if your kids never come to your house lol

i can crop the pictures of the little round birds i see on my morning walk into cinemascope aspect ratio if i want to. it's legal

Tickled by how I kept telling people my dream last night was "two-thirds of a gay Die Hard" and everyone is interpreting that differently

love randomly hearing bells while I'm in the city like. who tf are you tolling for.

Me walking past a classroom and seeing a vague sparkle: baby what's in your hand????? Toddler holding a used staple: I dunno :)

I ""watched"" multiple episodes of a show I do not watch to make this.

Been work shopping this a bit more. I love the idea of the next innocent lead being a couple - either one of them is a suspect so the strain comes there, or maybe a couple already on the outs become accused together and reaffirm their bond through the shenanigans

gorgeous production beautifully shot left the theater wanting to die 10/10 production 👍🏽

NW!

Objectively the funniest place to put this thing right

erika kirk trying to turn herself into jackie kennedy but forgetting that jackie pretty much withdrew from public life following her husband's death to mourn in private, due to not being a demonhearted pageant girl from arizona

Guillermo del Toro reposting Jayvik is so much fun, and also I hope he makes some yaoi. Would be a great direction for him

"The next knives out should be the winter one" great! "the next knives out should be on a train" perfect! but taking it one step further. We need the "murder mystery crashes into detective's private life" trope. I want Blanc's husband to return in endgame (Knives Out 4)

Wondering if I can sneak in peanuts and coke without anyone yelling at me

genuinely considering if I should make a double feature out of the pro shot I'm seeing tomorrow and this very bad movie you're all talking about

Spent 12 hours baling a cake four times that wouldn't fucking work and then failed twice to make a whipped cream to salvage the strawberries and then I missed TWO trains bc my elevator wouldn't work for five minutes and when I stepped out into the night I literally heard a bell toll

You can't say this Jennifer Aniston haircare ad didn't get my attention. Embracing the Unspeaking Ones