Sorry but this is all I see

Terry Pratchett hits a little different every time you read it and I don’t think I’ve ever come away from a re-read without something new because I’m a little older and a little more knowledgeable and I bought something new to it.

My brother, we had to explain a 1/3 pound burger was bigger than a quarter pound burger and still failed

The day I knew I was an adult was when I went to see La Boheme and all the way through I was just like ‘oh my god will SOMEONE just get a job’.

AND INTRODUCING JOHN HURT AS THE WAR QUEER

Imagine fucking your face up that much to fit in and then they fire you anyway.

love Stella Creasy just locking in and deciding she’s not accepting shite platitudes in a private WhatsApp chat

I keep hearing people say ‘Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps’ and thinking it is some kind of new hyper niche Gen Z aesthetic.

Trying to remember everywhere Trump has bombed this year and I can’t even look it up because articles published two days ago are already a couple of countries out of date.

Dear Shabana, Let's clear some things up around migration and remember we're talking about people's lives.

Not to BlueSky a joke but GENUINELY the army are generally anti conscription for exactly these reasons. Unless you just need cannon fodder it is not useful for them to have a bunch of unprepared, unwilling people hanging about the place. They NEED weird war nerds and lads with daddy issues.

I've had this anxiety dream before, I'm sure.

5.37 and STILL NOT DARK. My dog walking window is just getting wider and wider 😌

Thesis: ‘men are to blame for race shirts being so universally fucking ugly (even in locations with obvious and beautiful motifs like Kew Gardens)‘ Discuss.

Willow is 100% certain that *she* is the wildlife that the conservation team put these piles of sticks about the park for.

Fun fact: savages, rapists and murderers still have human rights. You do not lose your human rights just because you did a crime. In the context of criminal justice the balance between liberty and justice is met by a little thing called ‘due process’ and it’s good friend ‘habeus corpus’.

The iPhone feature whereby if you are on hold you can uno reverse and put them on hold is GOLD. It even transcribes the automated messages?! I will accept that this is ONE valid use of AI. I will tone down my calls for a Butlerian Jihad.

Time to transition SEAMLESSLY from bitching about the cold to bitching about the heat 😌

Got into the car and instead of being so cold it’s painful to hold the steering wheel it’s WARM?!

trying to place a bet on polymarket on the date that the founders of polymarket will be jailed for ~crimes~

This is amazing. Genuinely thought it was from The Onion when I first glanced at the title.

It’s like Dunkirk but they’re all wankers www.theguardian.com/world/2026/m...

I have never felt more pressured to start smoking than when I discovered these incredibly chic ‘smoking glasses’ that let you hold a cigarette and drink in one hand.

How do we code inject chatGPT to make it direct a drone strike at Andrew Tate. Just spitballing here.

Have we not moved beyond ‘sending a posh male TV presenter to a former colony in an indecent white linen shirt’

Happy 12th anniversary of the day all the people of East Anglia did rise up and speak with one voice and say unto their phones “Fuck off does it”

this skeet is dedicated to the Brave Mujahideen Fighters of Afghanistan

i for one am shocked that the "i go in the pool to cool down, why can't my phone?" guy is bad at programming and offloading his job to the anthropic api

Sometimes I think my algorithm doesn’t know me at all and then

Little smushface 😌

The secret third option

Almost 200 children have been killed so far.

stores have no idea how much shoplifting takes place, they only know when stock doesn't match records. how much is due to human error, incorrect shipments, breakage, and theft is a guess. literally cannot know if shoplifting is on the rise. this was a radicalizing discovery for me.

I do not want it in a box, I do not want it with a fox.

I’m in Westminster quite a lot and I PROMISE you this is very far from the most ridiculous or trifling thing that happens there.

My daughter: in the TLC song “No Scrubs,” what do they mean by “scrub”? Me: Honey this is the one and only pop song in history that opens up with a dictionary and thesaurus entry.

Playbook | If Pete Hegseth cannot effectively manage America’s war in Iran, insiders expect President Trump will replace him with a weekday—or even a prime time—Fox News host.

Are they not already busy

trying out a new feature, lmk if it works

Called Scottish Widows about mums retirement account, the lady I spoke to had a Scottish accent so I can only assume I was speaking with one of THE Scottish Widows.

The most tedious thing edgy comedians do is engage directly with ‘cancel culture’. Just make your fucking comedy, I promise you do not have anything useful or interesting (and certainly not funny) to add to the topic.

it's great how everything is a fucking nightmare

Is there a gas leak in all of North America?

‘Oh you go to the gym? What’s your weight routine’ ‘Idk mostly putting away other people’s’ 🤨

Caught sight of this out of the corner of my eye and thought I was about to hear all about how we used to be ruled by a DIVA 💅