This is what future celebrities were supposed to be, not politics streamers

This has me thinking about a mahogany box lined in ruffled cream satin.

Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market. This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.

I think I would simply walk into the sea

Russell Crowe, Geneviève Picot & Hugo Weaving about to drop the best post-punk album of 1979

“I’ve got a great marketing plan, we’ll get the dumbest motherfucker in our industry, one that just nobody respects, and we’ll have him say the most asinine thing possible and that will be our pull quote, it’s surefire

Sometimes I see people like 20 tweets deep into an argument with Grok. Like, what are you doing brother? You are trying to win an argument with a vending machine.

Anyone else want to pet the medieval sealskin songbook, or just me...? 🦭 🧪🏺

you don’t see robots with big square heads much anymore. which is too bad, because I think there are probably a lot of people who’d still find that attractive

"No one likes me, I win."

Rosalind Franklin died at 37 of ovarian cancer attributed to radiation exposure from the methods she & her assistant used to photograph a cross-section of the DNA double helix. Meanwhile, Watson won a Nobel off that work & survived to the ripe old age of 97 by simply: stealing those notes!

am reminded of the old joke: what did James Watson discover? Rosalind Franklin’s notes.

applying for jobs again

It had never really occurred to me that a major flaw in hatching seditious plots if you’re a Catholic is that you and all your fellow plotters are going to be off snitching to your priests every week.

I’ve been trying baby snacks (carrot puffs et al) because they are very allergy friendly and I tell you what, babies are getting mugged off.

Sainsbury’s gluten free tiger rolls are…fine. Texture is very slightly reminiscent of insulation. Don’t ask me how I know.

Pure distilled essence of 1979-2025, here. I’m loaded and loving it but somehow I can never shake this mortal terror that somewhere, some poor wanker might be eating a free cheese sandwich.

I’ve managed to brainwash myself into liking vegan cheese but I feel like gluten free bread is going to be a much rockier path.

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

Day…five? Six? Of ADHD meds: going great. Jitters mostly gone and quality of life significantly improved. I’ve been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder multiple times but strategies for anxiety have never worked.

And they wonder why CEOs get shot.

A distraught man came to Broadview searching for his wife of five years after she was taken by ICE at her court hearing. He wasn’t told anything, tracked her by her phone, and was left weeping in the parking lot.

This is the evilest thing I think I’ve ever read. A few years ago a woman was sentenced to two and a half years in prison plus probation for doing less than this. It’s not going to happen in Trump’s America but there need to be laws tightening liability on shit like this.

Do you remember that talking toy that it turned out could be hacked and made to say unsavoury things to children and how quickly that was reported on and the toy subsequently recalled.

I was hoping by now I’d be having fires in the wood stove, as it is I’m still sleeping with the fan on.

so this is highly incentive based and relies on Tesla hitting ridiculous thresholds to vest lots of it which means we are about to see exciting new frontiers in fraud and bullshit

Tech bros tired of reinventing buses reinvent phrenology instead

ai has ruined the sanctity and artistic integrity of the yearly coke christmas ad

for those just joining us, here's some deep cut Cait lore. in 2017 when i was still chaeronaea a guy wrote me this insane letter on autumn stationery and made a twitter account specifically to post this and tag me in it.

If you’re having a hard time reproing a bug, it would then introduce this fun little issue of “is this even a real bug, or is it a ‘we hired liebot, the chatbot that lies’ problem”

Can someone tell my phone that if there are two set of headphones within Bluetooth range I NEVER EVER EVER want it to switch from the pair I’m using to the pair that just came in range. Never. Ever.

In Love Actually, it says that no one on the planes on 9/11 sent messages of hate only messages of love, but I like to think at least one person phoned and told their boss to blow a goat.

damn Ross maybe you should not Douthat

Before you get mad at me from sharing screenshots from Twitter you should know that I’m actually sharing screenshots of screenshots I screenshotted from crappy instagram posts. Screenshotception.

mmmm my favorite mcdonald’s food, Dore, Caprer, and a side of Cchinges

I had gone off Doctor Who a bit before they went to Disney but I live in that perpetual hope that one day they will recapture the fizz of the Tennant/Piper era so I’m back on the train: maybe Who will be good again now it’s no longer with Disney.

I was so pleased with my productivity and task completion yesterday - I reconditioned a section of the kitchen counter, finished the task, cleaned up from the task, cooked dinner, cleaned up from dinner, tidied kitchen before bed*…only to find that I left the oven on all night 🤦🏼‍♀️

In 2020 I bought myself two advent calendars and started one in November. An advent calendar counting down to my advent calendar. I needed a bit of extra cheer that year.

My most authoritarian opinions: 1. Ban the sale of fireworks to individuals. Setting off ten shitty rockets in your garden is never going to be good enough to justify scaring my dog. Organised displays ONLY. 1/2

My most frustrating trait is that I’m a Big Serious Nerd with lots of intense special interests but I have enough memory to store *maybe* four facts about each so when I meet other Big Serious Nerds I look like a weakling and poseur.

The whole "OMG a prisoner has been mistakenly released" thing is such shit. No one gave a toss till it was an asylum seeker released.Last year, 262 prisoners - five a week - were released from prisons/courts before they should have been. Zero front-page reporting. www.theguardian.com/society/2...

Alain De Botton sincerely believes that the rise in polyamory is because people don’t know how to have normal friendships anymore and that’s the deepest burn on poly people I have ever heard 💀 <—-(this skull looks like Alain De Botton)

From the top rope

who tf is still setting off fireworks at half one in the morning?! how am I supposed to sleep with a trembling hound?!

oh this shit is COOKED cooked

Someone hire me to write a movie script about the sandwich trial titled 12 ANGRY INCHES

Checking in on Rudy Giuliani, I see he's having an insane one

rudy giuliani’s pr manager: you don’t understand, that was his second choice after i convinced him not to photoshop himself onto one of the planes

If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit