What if, after Elon Musk creates AGI, it is activated and put in charge, and the first thing it says is: "well, clearly you need to dispossess the billionaires and implement communism" ?

He really is doing all of it.

Just divide by zero who gives a shit anymore

[Shouted in “let’s go” voice with Minnesota accent] DON’T CHA KNOW!!!

I wonder if people ever think that I’m really into Dave & Buster’s when I say I love d&b. (Drum & bass)

orcas have the chance to do the funniest thing

One of the best to ever do it

Common misconception: this is a boa palpation device. They just use the vocal sound because people are more familiar with that

genuine trappist

inframan is an incredible movie but nothing could have prepared me for the insane one-two punch of the subtitler going completely rogue followed by an extremely funny boat shot

Merry Christmas! Please enjoy the opening to this Japanese Christmas concert special that I watch every year. As far as I can tell, this has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet

Wild that they’re just giving us new things to apologize for.

It’s the “season of love and giving”…but this year, doesn’t it seem more like a “season of fear and taking”? Like many of you, I’ve been saddened by the human impact of draconian government budget cuts and how angry many housed Americans are at unhoused Americans. 🧵 1 of 9

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

tired: coal in your stocking wired:

[Guy whose dick fell off because there's a girl in star wars] I would probably do well in a civil war

'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.' Photograph by Daniel Ibanez

Instant all-timer here:

haha so.. I did some works! i guess u can look upon them? no worries if not!

this has become a very important video to me

Take the crystal— I cannot hold open the Patient Portal any longer! You must validate your insurance provider at least 10 minutes prior to your appointment!

Guess it’s finally time to pivot to video

The Dark Cloaca

NYT: Is the President tired? Ms. Leavitt: Would a weary President be able to deliver a racist rant like that one?

I truly feel awful for this guy, but Nathan Fielder has ruined the vibe of a line like "I have two master's degrees, a strong GPA from one of Canada's top universities and years of experience in finance." Can't take it seriously at all. apple.news/A0ez72f7rQae...

Wife and I are watching a show about historical Victorian Bakeries. She’s getting jealous because I sound like a pornhub comment thread over this bread

We must return

Tired: The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is a long consumerist advertisement for a corporation-based American hegemony that peaked before the forever wars. Wired: Shaggy and Busta Rhymes are dad rock now.

We must defeat AI kitsch by spreading vintage, handcrafted kitsch

thinking of her today

when trying on pants, do this in the store. then tell the sales associate "the menswear guy told me to do this." IG mr.funkys0ul

My favorite piece of content today.

Checkmate

rfk jr moaning in olivia nuzzi's ear

My dog is goofy

“It’s ephebophilia, not pedophilia” is a statement that both a) is true and b) does not help your argument at all.

ouroboreos

Live shot of all of us reading the emails today

Did I underestimate Chuck Schumer and crew?

C R Y I N G this is so perfect lmao x: www.instagram.com/reel/DQ7cPSf...

Holy shit finally an Op-Ed that Gets It

I think the congressional dems are really messing up, and don't believe this theory, but what if they're just trying to get Mike Johnson to open up the House to get the new rep in and get the Epstein files released, or some other reason? (not optimistic)

Grok Imagine prompt: She smiles and says "I will always love you"

loving the new Lincoln Bedroom design