Ensconce deez nutz.

White people.

Things That Will Erupt From Compromised Tanks And Kill You: Boston: Molasses Orange County: Toxic Chemicals Shanghai: Sharks

Effective tax rate paid by Jeff Bezos from 2014 to 2018: 0.98% Effective 2025 federal tax rate paid by Amazon: 1.4% Typical tax rate paid by the average American: 14.5% Just thought I should point that out.

I think a lot of people should go to prison when this is over

BREAKING: Sen. Ed Markey calls for Trump's impeachment.

Real question: the fuck do you guys think the word meant before

Let's make billionaires pay their fair share and find out

Why do we suddenly have whackjobs like this running as Democrats?

Their proxy war to take down Schumer is have some really terrible effects. It's like they refuse to actually study the candidates before endorsing them. Honestly, I expect that incompetence from Bernie.

I wrote something about how to dress for your body type. I disagree with guides that approach this from a corrective POV (e.g. clothes that make fat people look slim, short people look tall). Instead, I think it's about learning how to express yourself in a language www.mrporter.com/en-us/journa...

RIP Mark Furhman, the last cop in American history to get in trouble for being racist

Paul Scheer is Odysseus June Diane Raphael is Penelope Jason is every single other character in the book, monsters included

This is important. We can't rely on anyone/anything else. We the People have the power to save American democracy.

Joe: I am a 73 year-old retired mechanic in Forsberg, Nebraska. My 3 biggest problems are Iran's uranium enrichment capability, the casting of Helen in Christopher Nolan's "Odyssey," and the ability of Tennesseeans to check out "Roots" from a library 1000 media outlets: can we please talk at length

ALSO I HEAR THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A BLACK PERSON ON THE NEW X-FILES. NOW MULDER AND SCULLY WANDER AROUND WITH NO ACCOUNTABILITY AND NEVER ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING AND CAN’T EXPLAIN WHAT THEY DO. THAT IS A FUCKIN WHITE MAN’S JOB

Meet me at the Asparagus Festival if you want some wild piss smells.

I suspect there's a reason Tim Burchett finds straws a touchy subject. They probably have him beat in both length and girth.

Honestly? It's still pretty funny even under these circumstances.

Trump hearing "cisgender" and thinking its "six genders" then getting all mad about it, thus forcing other Republicans to agree that the libs are now demanding there be six genders, is a perfect encapsulation of our Golden Age of Dickishness and Stupidity.

It's obviously possible for conservatives and reactionaries to create Great Art, but it seems increasingly difficult for the current ascendant right-wing movement, which has barely any interest in anything except signifiers and the form of content. Barely able to even conceptualize anything deeper.

The real masculinity crisis in America

I'm about 12 years ahead of you.

"If she has her own house, what will she need me for?" I don't know, dude, maybe be cool and fun to be around and be happy for her success instead being whiny little sad-ass troll about it? www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

I don't know why we're not screaming this from the rooftops every time one of these fuckwits says this.

I mean, there's no question he did it, but yeah, this is feels like it can't be anything but bad conduct by the clerk.

The best part of a list like the @nytimes.com Greatest Living American Songwriters is talking about the ones they missed, from Stevie Nicks and Carly Simon to Bill Callahan and Brian D'Addario. medium.com/three-imagin...

And yet the Democrats are still going to take the House by a considerable margin, and likely the Senate.

I mean, the fact that there are a ton of seats that the R's barely won in '24 and all sorts of seats where they're massively institutionally disfavored that they currently sit in. There's 20-30 seats where you'd probably bet against the R every time if its a D +5 election.

Surely they've suffered enough?

JK Rowling is now represented by a trans person in the Scottish parliament. Absolutely incredible.

The thing about “golden calfs” If you have to tell people it’s not one… it’s definitely one

Every Reform councillor who was elected this week is going to go into their first day of work thinking that 80% of their borough's budget goes on giving immigrants pronouns and they're all going to find that every single department is underfunded and slightly reducing the budget will kill people

is it a testament to that, actually? i thought it was a testament to the fact that the president is a boomer NYC society diva who's been feuding with rosie o'donnell since the '90s

See also Ed Wood and angora and Quentin Tarantino and women's feet. It's just that D.W. Griffith had a boner for doing racisms.

Is it that his toadies are telling him these things, or is he pulling them directly from his own ass?

look, it’s time to embarrass these people. ask them if trump could play quarterback right now for the cowboys, ask them if trump is more mortal or god, ask them if donald trump deserved an oscar for his performance in home alone 2

Conservatives: The epidemic of male loneliness is a scourge and we need to have compassion for all the incels worshipping Nick Fuentes. Also Conservatives: Men who have male friends are gay.

Only a third of Republicans say they could win a fistfight against a doddering overweight octogenarian who wears makeup and hairspray, has never taken a punch in his life, stands uncertainly, and panics at ramps. Soft little weenies.

a critical difference between woke 1 and woke 2 is the understanding that woo is something to be fought tooth and nail

Deeply demonic. This is political retaliation.

George Wallace running around and dropping the N word at every rally and blaming the elders of zion for things. Bluesky liberals: Politics was so much more civil in the post-war Era.

Shoutout to Joe Biden for one of history’s greatest burns: “There's only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11”

Slightly diminish a book The Sound and the Pique

John Lewis said it best: In a democracy, the right to vote is the most powerful, nonviolent tool we have. People marched, protested & bled for that right. But today it's under attack. We must defend the right to vote & we can start by passing the John Lewis Voting Rights Act.

I went peepee in the potty today. Aced it. There was a sink and a tub and a trash can but I didn’t peepee in any of those. I used the potty. The part where you should lift the seat cover first is very easy. They say “which part do you pee in?” And I say “the water part.”

Like if I went back in time? I would tell the guys from the Great Survey that my name was Yeoman Deez Nuts so that would wind up in the Domesday Book and people would see it and go “really? You travelled in time and you did that?”

"The fuck do I have 118 new emails all of a sudden?" [scroll] "Oh, right...it's Bandcamp Friday."

!!! CNN is now confirming that the ethics investigation into vulnerable GOP Rep. Chuck Edwards has to do with sexual harassment claims. Once again, #NC11 is an increasingly flippable district. www.cnn.com/2026/04/30/p...