I 100% know the person being described here.

The final score of this game is going to be 16-12

I'm going to laugh when Trump declares victory because a ship made it through the straight he closed down

Nebraska looks like a team photo from 1956

The party when he dies going to be epic

Mr President you must go to iran personally sir. You are the only one who can do the art of the deal. This is a situation that calls for the personal touch of a man who got a nobel peace prize at a garage sale or whatever

How cool is Buzz Lightyear? That movie was made in 1995 and we still don't have a Buzz Lightyear toy at any level with: - Pop out wings - Flip back helmet - Lights - Voice Box - Laser - Karate chop action *the more you know star flies by*

Plato's cave was fake news brought to you by a shadow organization

"Raising Questions" If you've talked to all of the former presidents aides and gotten confirmation, that's not raising a question. Just fucking say it dude. What's so hard about that.

To date, this is still the best thing that capitalism has given us

30 years ago tonight:

Ok now I want to watch this. Fun fact, Rotten tomatoes: 100% Critic score 97% Audience score

Laker Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter Crash

Haphazardly starting a war only to say "I didn't know how big their navy was" two weeks later

Super excited to have democrats blamed for high gas prices, inflation, and product shortages on January 21, 2029.

He's standing like that cause you know damn well that floor is sticky as hell

Toad who lost his wife in the seventh war against Bowser: oh hey I guess they all decided to play tennis together ok that’s fine that’s ok

For those of you that abandoned organized religion, what was the “spark” that started your deconstruction arc?

getting serious replies to my Travis Kelce jokes so here are the facts of the case: has Kelce's play dropped off: yes is Kelce good enough to keep playing in the NFL: also yes should Kelce keep playing football after the world's wealthiest, most popular musician wrote a song about his penis: no

I sum up the entire Trump / far right absurdity into a single Neil deGrasse Tyson quote: "The good thing about science is that it's true whether or not you believe in it."

No shit. We all knew Trump whoopsie bombed a bunch of schoolgirls. Just because he said no I didn't doesn't make it not exist. Why are we still doing this whole thing where we try to debate him via the media?

Markwayne Mullin has the face of a guy who somehow drowned in a fireworks accident

Had to doublecheck the date on this

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the current era is just increasingly extreme iterations of the Austin Powers “Swedish Penis Pump” bit.

My friend and I made a pact that we go to a bar and get absolutely trashed celebrating. I was camping in a tent in the middle of nowhere without cell reception when he got shot. @houseofcrs.bsky.social was PISSED that I was so irresponsible.

How much is a banana

sorry, donnie boy already spent it all on cocaine

Don't care how many times I watch, this still makes me laugh

Priest at Lou Holtz funeral: Does anyone have anything they'd like to say about the coach? Ryan Day:

boy brother would I have some emails to send to THAT guy

ME: (first day practicing Bug Law) May it please the Court— BUG JUDGE: (sternly) Bug Court.

It took until reading the Guardian today to truly understand why all this is happening. TLDR - we're a country run by old farts who are still holding grudges from *checks notes* ... 1979.

There's nothing that screams "American privilege" more than running a war from an announced, unsecured (relatively speaking) location.

I wouldn't be surprised at all if, in a couple years from now, it comes out that the negotiations with Iran actually went great... but then Donald Trump ended up starting a war because someone was about to release a breaking news story about him at one of Epstein's parties.

I am still confused as to why, exactly, we attacked Iran but I said the same thing about Venezuela.

operation blowing up residential buildings because a dozen rich old guys got caught molesting teenagers in the 90s

I have to watch the State of the Union because I sinned in a past life and am being punished by a vengeful God.

It is important to put into context the part about Tucker Carlson... That clip from 2018 was the same time period as Blake Neff being his lead writer and the same time period when that writer was posting to white supremacist forums www.cnn.com/2020/07/10/m...

It is very very very difficult to stand out from the crowd of people writing about What It’s Like In Minnesota Right Now. We are a hyper-literate people and we never actually stop talking. This piece. about the terror and the joy, stands out: www.nytimes.com/2026/02/18/o...

I think if you took Tennessee and put it with Kentucky for the whiskey and bourbon then connected it through to Ohio, Michigan, Illinois and Indiana you'd have a case to come in a close* second to Minnesota and Wisconsin. *it wouldn't be close

Wisconsin solos

Oddly enough... 76ers President/ GM Daryl Morey

This one star review of a local convenience store... fair enough

Great news, son! The Turning Point USA All-American Halftime Show Is On!