Transformation takes time and patience:

The best way to avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse is by not having one in the first place. Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.

Local music scenes are built by the 50 people who show up every time. Be one of those 50. Every legendary artist started in a half-empty room with believers like you.

Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.

Neither miserable, nor happy, but a secret more complicated third thing

patty cake patty cake baker’s man

TIL what TIL means

if I'm being honest my musical taste is best described as "good"

yes, i’m still extremely hot to those of you who may be wondering

gonna astral project and irish goodbye each dimension this evening hbu

A Bee Gees appreciation day, call it Thanksgibbing

hey bruh your guitar is gently weeping

You can open all the doors but sometimes a ghost just won't leave.

I cannot listen to more than one Stevie Nicks song per day. The earnestness, it is too great

I’ve never exfoliated. I like to keep my foliage close.

Don't mean to be a stickler but "no words" are actually words

You wouldn't believe how hot it makes a woman to be thought of as a human.

No one in this ball pit is taking me seriously.

lyrics are whimsical poetry

*my phone alarm goes off* Them: Time for medicine? Me: nope. Reese’s cup

There should be a lot more hairstyles for dogs

Getting a headstart on Thanksgiving by drinking gravy straight from the can