At the Moulin Rouge, The Dance, by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, 1890

Hannibal’s first attempt

Knowing how it could change the lives of canines everywhere, the dog scientists struggled diligently to understand the Doorknob Principle.

I’ll be using this in my classroom

Just watched the highlights of today’s stage of the #TourdeFrance. Everyone else might as well just go home.

How strong is that fan?!?

Family of Darius Before Alexander, by Francesco Salvator Fontebasso, 1750, 📸 by @aricbeckerphoto

“Well, I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve asked you here today. … Ha! I’ve always wanted to say that.”

Subjugation by Robert McNeil at the St Mungo Museum of Religious Art and Life in Glasgow. Couldn’t find a better image of it online.

How vampires have accidents

In case you missed it, here's Count Binface's appearance on the BBC this morning.

“Lads, FIFA are really going for the title of most corrupt sports governing body. Anyone got any ideas” “Well, we could…”

On my way, Clacton.

“Harry! I found this note from Mary Beth! … She’s run off with a spoon!”

“He's fine, Toby. He was up, joking. He'll be back in chambers in a couple of days.”

We are all Belgian for the next 2 hours* *except the USA and probably the Congolese #USABEL

Every lifelong football fan I've ever met is like "I think players are supposed to serve their suspension" and every adult convert is like "the Archon of Constantinople's epistle on the Pentacostine rites of the eucharist clearly states handballs are mandatory."

Cold War Steve. Via @philippeauclair.bsky.social

Hope this is worth staying up for. #MEXENG

Norway number 26

This is absolutely outrageous. Why did Nathan Ngoy, Themba Zwane, Rebin Selaka, or any of the other players that have been sent off, not get suspended sentences? A complete disgrace.

More reliability issues for Mercedes? Bad luck for Antonelli but it does keep the Championship alive.

Always read the small print.

This is where I learned to swim

"Well, like I said, a mammoth shouldn’t be allowed in the cave to begin with—but installing a swinging door was just plain crazy!”

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

Where would he play? I assume one of the current attackers is going to leave?

Fly the angel sleeves of your hostess dress at half mast, dim the standard lamps of all suburbia and please be seated at the telephone table to make the gossipiest call you can from a landline in memoriam💙

The only redeeming thing about this game is that Gianni Infantino has to sit through the pain of it.

First knockout match of the World Cup. South Africa are poor and really negative, constantly passing back to their keeper. Good to watch games with real jeopardy though.

Celtic appointing Hearts’ set piece coach might be the best signing we make this summer. Our set pieces, attacking and defending, have been atrocious for years.

Fuck off sausage fingers. I hope England get absolutely pumped out the competition as soon as possible.

Enough with the drone footage in the F1. It’s not great for wheel-to-wheel racing.

Just a reminder of who Cristiano Ronaldo really is:

Unwittingly, Palmer stepped out of the jungle and into headhunter folklore forever.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. A dog is a man's best friend. So Diamond Dogs is everyone's favourite album. NICELY PLAYED MR BOWIE

What a review: “It should be little surprise then, to find that the resulting game is absolute dogshit. It's putrid. It's an embarrassment to anyone who plays it, to the device it's played on, to the people who made it, the people who lent their names to it and the medium of video games in general”

I may have been a bit unkind to Wayne. I can't remember who said it, but there was a quote about criticising Beckham(?) for not being eloquent is like criticising Stephen Fry for not being able to take a corner. Still, my point about your writing stands.

Ricardo Rodriguez plays no club football and only appears every 2 years for Switzerland. No one can convince me otherwise. #FIFAWprldCup #SUIBIH

I feel this is a little bit harsh on Rooney as Ned is a journalist and writer. There are tonnes of football commentators/pundits of this calibre. Nevertheless, Ned is great and his book 1923: The Mystery of Lot 212 is a lovely read.

People talk about how love is what’s bringing everyone together this World Cup and how beautiful that is. Well I’m sorry to burst the bubble but the true unifier, the one cross cultural constant, is hating Ronaldo.

If you can’t spot the sucker at a Versailles settlement, you are the sucker. Humiliating peace, large cash payments….

I was digging around on wikipedia today and happened to come across this very good painting of Fancy Men Bamboozled By Egg

If Martinez doesn’t have the bottle to hook Ronaldo then he should be replaced. Or just admit Ronaldo actually manages the team. No way they win this tournament if they insist on playing him for every 90 minutes.

My mum’s family emigrated from Croatia so tonight I’ll be supporting my ancestral home.

Luposlipaphobia: The fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor.

France keeper acting like me at a game 7s. Pure shat it. Think he wants out?

Fucking hell BBC. It’s pretty cruel sitting Wayne Rooney next to Olivier Giroud.