Why was I following this account, and why is it following me 😭

I forgot this app existed ngl 😂

I know I’ve been dead for like the past month or so but I just had to post this…

we as gay people are allowed to be late to work with an iced coffee in hand

Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work

MERRY!!!

chain mail armor for women, call it shemail

I’ve got that early onset dad bod

9/11 never happened, it's just the biggest case of the Mandela effect ever

Pretty sure foreign intelligence officers have tried to make contact with me but it's finals season so ion really care bout it

Garn47.

Uni at the bar? バーでのうに？

My worst trait is saying ohhh and still not understanding shit

i’m thankfulcore and gratitudepilled

Buy one hawk get tuah free

required reading www.twitch.tv/avoidingthep...

When you're almost done with Thanksgiving dinner and your aunt pipes up and says "Before we're done I think we should go around the table one by one and tell everyone what we're thankful for." #NASCAR

My calendar year is divided between "Race season" and "Those three months when I don't know what day it is."

At my funeral there’ll be a 37 minute montage of me trying to find something to watch on Netflix

Insomnia is so much better here.

Gaming

she's not gonna reply she's not gonna reply she's not gonna reply

mr beast should be hunted for sport live on peacock plus

what does discoursky think of this

i went to have sex with a clown and tehy tied my thingy into fucked up balloon shapes and we cant sex anymore

The ol "get even or get even worse" has resulted in things getting even worse

idgaf + i’m sleeping on my friends floor + i’m cuddling my gnarp + i’m getting mcdonald’s breakfast tomorrow + i’m cute + i’m smart + i sit in the shower

type of shit ive been on

trying to explain to my bf that smoking boogers is the new crack but all he'll say is "get out of my house, i'm calling the cops" like bitch first of all bitch this is an apartment, second of all I'm not inside I'm on the balcony

Gave my son 4.5 grams of psilocybin mushrooms and handed him an iPad with this on it

Whenever I see a gay person in real life my dumb ass brain thinks of the "gay people tomorrow morning!" Elf ytp

who left this on my car????

Where’s the cat?

👏GIVE 👏THE 👏OTHER 👏49 👏STATES 👏THEIR 👏OWN 👏CHAINSAW 👏MASSACRE 👏MOVIES

In my element. In my zone. Focused. Flourishing.

do not talk to me or my gnarp ever again