There is no moment in professional sports that is more sadistically enjoyable than teammates throwing hands at each other. A few memorable teammate battles you may not know about. Click below to read. open.substack.com/pub/nascar/p...

If you can hear your spotter at @NHMS you can hear him Loudon clear. The plan is to delete this if I don't get raptured.

Here on the second day of fall to put you in the mood for a pumpkin spice latte 🎃🍂

I'm standing outside JGR during the competition meeting and nothing seems out of the ordi

So Ryan Blaney won the race at New Hampshire and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts-t…#NASCARAR

"I just beat your favorite driver LOL just kidding come on Coach that was good."

This meme was good for like 60 laps before Josh Berry ruined everything

The Magic

Jimmy Biffett

Time to answer this very important question: "WHAT IS THE BEST TROPHY IN NASCAR?" We do so in a Substack article, appropriately titled, "POWER RANKINGS: RACE TROPHIES." Please read, and tell me what I got wrong -> bit.ly/4nyjytm

YO so we have started an official NASCAR league Substack. We promise it will be fun to read, free of most typos and most of the content will be thirst traps of Ryan Blaney. Give it a follow here -> substack.com/@nascar?r

Denny Hamlin deserves credit for making good-faith attempts at winning a race where he has a crippling phobia of the trophy. It shows how much he wants to win. If the race trophy was a mime, I'd be like "You f-ckers better be happy with a good points day."

If there's a really good table open at the coffee shop, it turns out that's because it's directly under a vent. I am tired of learning this the hard way.

Why I'm now so convinced that Ryan Blaney will win the chanpionship in 2025

Incredibly good crop of Peyronie's Squash from the garden this summer

When you're out to eat and the server says "Ladies first, what would you like?" and she says "I dunno, you order first so I can decide," are we supposed to, like, order reallllly slowly? It just happened and I was like "Um. Enchiladas" which bought her an extra 0.6 seconds of menu analysis.

Christopher Bell won the race at Bristol Motor Speedway and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> bit.ly/3K5QScU #NASCAR #Substack

We're visiting at my bro and sis-in-law's place in California. My dad decides he wants to get a water so he heads out to the garage fridge to grab one. After a few sips he realizes it tastes different. It was a Cutwater. My man's been comatose for an hour. Hell yeah. Way to read the label, dad.

Denny Hamlin won in St. Louis and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> bit.ly/3JVYbDQ #NASCAR

When you're just trying to invent a safer victory celebration for yourself but your car remembers what happened last time and is like "DON'T WORRY, I'M HOLDING ON TO YOU." #NASCAR #XfinitySeries

The St. Louis Arch

Over on the NASCAR YouTube we are power-ranking the greatest cereal paint schemes of all time. Watch below and please let me know what I got wrong. youtu.be/bYcEFLyZSLU?...

NFL SEASON: (Six seconds in) JALEN CARTER:

Over on the NEW NASCAR Substack, I, a resident of Indiana, explain why Chase Briscoe is our only hope for a pro-sports championship to come to the Hoosier State. No pressure, Chase. Read below... bit.ly/4p7Jz4v

WIFEY UPDATE: September 3, 2025 - this is the FINAL scheduled infusion. No spiking the football. She isn't ringing the bell until after her scan in three weeks. Get checked.

Chase Briscoe won at Darlington and received several (extremely fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> bit.ly/4p2TGr6 AND subscribe to the new #NASCAR Substack while you're there, OK? Cool. Thanks. You're the best.

The official hashtag of The Track Too Tough To Tame is #TTTTTT

This is my Eras Tour

Can we please start the show before they get into an argument and break up again?

We picked a single meme that best describes each driver heading into the 2025 Playoffs. Read and subscribe to the brand spanking new NASCAR Substack while you're there. Click here -> bit.ly/3JA1QXW

Connor Zilisch at the Cup Series drivers' meeting next year

I am an honorary member of Cypress Hill for one night

True. I weed-whacked my own ankle once.

I got Connor Zilisch a get-well Cameo from WWE legend Mick Foley

If you told me I could have six wins in the Xfinity Series and the tradeoff would be needing collarbone surgery I'd be the dude in the OR biting down on a stick and screwing metal plates into own clavicle

Between the watermelon smash, the rugby kick, the piñata smash and the ER visit, Trackhouse Racing has the most memorable victory celebrations of any team

Every racing series that has issues with track limits should adopt our policy where if you cut the course we blow up your race car. Highly effective. #NASCAR #WatkinsGlen

Punk rock Tuesday in Indy

Watkins Glen is someone who thought Cutwater Lime Margaritas in a can couldn't possibly be that strong

So William Byron won at Iowa Speedway and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> bit.ly/453TRL7

Broadcast graphic folks having to stretch the box to CVS-receipt lengths to accommodate all of LeClerc's beef can only mean Ferrari Ferrari'd again

iowa corn roval

Of all the driver cooling systems, Kyle Larson's is by far the most effective

#NASCAR #SanDiego #PureAISlop

Denny Hamlin won at @MonsterMile and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> bit.ly/4lJbcPe #NASCAR.com