Who has made this 🤣

DON'T FORGET!

"No client ever had money enough to bribe my conscience or to stop its utterance against wrong, and oppression." -- Abraham Lincoln

Has the new pope confirmed his stance on deep dish pizza?

a chip is merely a vessel for the dip

Why would Katy Perry do this

The Ides of March 44 BC is notorious as the day that Roman senators wore pink to protest the actions of Julius Caesar

I miss this hair

How do I become one of those influencers that just lift weights, chill, socialize, and get free clothes? I can do that I’m good at that

God, please

This is Panda. He became critically emaciated due to a pancreatic illness where his body is unable to digest food. There's no cure, but his condition can be managed with costly daily medication. You can donate to his lifelong treatment below ❤️‍🩹 15outof10.org/panda-2

Not if you’re into that kind of thing

This Valentines Day get her what she really wants: revenge

Hey guys meta announced a new policy where they send a killer to get you so be sure to go to settings>my account > killer> disable killer to turn that off

The Chiefs can still be named Super Bowl champions if Mike Pence has the courage.

It looks like Kendrick has won for now but sources tell me Drake has a devastating rebuttal planned for his performance at the Kids’ Choice Awards

Sports

I lose a lot of respect for influencers when I see they do advertising for prizepicks

Ok well, most of them time. It gets hot af here and sometimes it can suck. #throwback

I miss this hair

This Tuesday is very Monday. I deserve tacos

stop re-opening jurassic park you dumbasses

Are the next 4 years really going to be logging on everyday to sentences like "a 19 year old doge intern called Big Balls has your social security number" because I'm already at capacity for this sort of thing

I gotta stop spending money

Send your crush some nudes, they deserve it

The only celebrity drama I follow is Elmo's beef with that rock

I need a vacation, tattoo, or three day bender.

Pete Hegseth Crashes Golf Cart Into Inauguration Stage theonion.com/pete-he...

It felt like -15 here this morning. In summer it gets over 100 as well the humidity is almost always is in the high 90s for percentage. Which can kill you. Why do I live here

Can a headline alone be eligible for a Pulitzer?

I guess you could say I'm into the paranormal - me, ghosting

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States theonion.com/fbi-unc...

I could watch you forever

Normally I eat like 6000 cals a day. But I started a cut. At like 3500. I can barely eat anything. My condolences to the people eating 1200 cals. Because how

I'm a little sick haha Yeah everyone is sick right now it's crazy

Yeah! Hey wait..

Couple Upstairs Going At It Again theonion.com/couple-upsta...

Shout to ibuprofen. You have never failed me

Ah yes, random chest pain. This is it. This is the end

This is the most Sunday Wednesday ever.

Did I got bed on New Years Eve at 930? Absolutely Do I regret it? Absolutely not

Deep dish pizza isn’t real. But it can hurt you