I’m funnier online. In person it’s just me and repeating lines from every funny movie I’ve ever seen.

The lonely lesbian at every concert I go to till the end of forever

I hope PlayStation Wrap Up is a disaster just like it was last year because it was really funny to witness on here.

I don’t even procrastinate anymore I just 100% neglect my responsibilities.

Something is wrong with me lol EPIC took over my life this year. 😅

In the span of a month both my parents have been diagnosed with cancer.

I’d probably send some of you into cardiac arrest if you knew that I don’t have playlists, I simply go to All Music and put that bitch on shuffle and call it a day.

Every picture I see of Luigi he is always happy and smiling. I don’t think jail is doing what they think it’s doing for him.

I didn’t need my Apple Music Replay to tell me that Epic: The Musical would be my top artist, top album, top song etc. but I did peek at it just to make sure.

[yelling over club music] I said, do you ever wonder if you’ve already lived through happiest parts of your life?

God forbid a girl isn’t trying to impress anyone.

If nobody got me I know sad music while staring at the rain got me

Petition to make Monday disappear forever. All in favor say aye.

And when you think of me I hope I’m at least the marry or fuck option but never kill ✨

I reorganized my closet so naturally my whole life is back in order.

It’s only forever, not long at all.

How am I supposed to get anything done when the weather is very “stay inside and drink tea and play video games”

If I get a crush on another emotionally unavailable woman I will end it all I stg.

Happy Turkey day or whatever I’m so stuffed I’m gonna die btw 🦃✨

I’m like if the 404 Error pop up was a girl

Who else at work thinking about their bed.

I think we need a week off for holidays like we got when in school. Having to work three days is dumb.

I just finished Dispatch and accidentally managed to not romance anyone I was actually trying to romance Invisigal too 😩😭 wtf

Me all day tomorrow instead of working

*throws all the dating apps into a bonfire and watches them burn* I’ve given up on love.

*does your tarot reading* The cards say you’re gay. Congrats.

Anyone wanna go caroling, we’re singing Provider by Sleep Token.

Quitting my job to focus on video games

Come correct when you invite me anywhere

Put on fake nails for this wedding and I remember why I haven’t got my nails done in five years now.

I woke up early and finished my errands before 10am. I demand head pats.

The only way out is through but like damn this path is narrow as fuck.

Today is my one year bsky anniversary! It’s honestly wild to me still how I signed up thinking I’d be speaking to the void and instead found community and friendships. I still don’t know why anyone likes to hear me talk about anything but I greatly appreciate all the connections I’ve made. 🥹🥹💜🫶🏼

The regular lesbian experience of crashing out over a girl you’re not even dating every couple of months.

Sorry for being weird I’m rawdogging life unmedicated and will continue to be weird.

I’m doing a challenge called Today where I just try to get through today.

To heal a wound you need to stop touching it.

I am not your strongest soldier. Possibly the weakest actually. Please stop.

It’s me and these cough drops against the world.

I would burn the world down for this dog just so you know

I love spending hours of my day, during my one and only precious life, on my phone.

Unfortunately because I didn’t answer enough people back fast enough the notifications piled up and now I do not want to perceive their existence and will not be responding to anyone.

Sunday scaries, a day full of anxiety for the coming week. Not related to every day scaries, where I have anxiety all the time for everything.

I won’t lie everyone telling me I look like Joan Jett is going to my head.

If I cough one more time.

The way the tickets to see Hayley Williams sold out so fast for my state. It’s okay I don’t wanna kms or anything. I have another hour before I try to buy them in LA please send me good luck.

I literally cannot stand being sick someone save me from this body prison.